The Fountain's Promise
by last place
Summary: AU: Death Note characters in the Wild West. Plagued by odd dreams and endless suffering, Light finds hope in a possible utopia.  But of course, where there are humans, there is corruption, and Light becomes caught up on the wrong side. COMPLETE-R
1. Prologue

**Central Characters:** Light, L, Beyond Birthday, Mello and Matt

Rated **M** for profanity, sexual content (mostly yaoi later on), drugs and violence.

**Warnings:** Some OOC-ness at the beginning. Switches P.O.V's constantly between many of the characters; it's a writing style I particularly enjoy. There are a few chapters where I use first person as sort of experiment. First, you get a look into Light's head before his innocence is demolished and he becomes Kira, and then you get the comparison of Light's humanity to Beyond's own monstrous thoughts. It's a strange stylistic choice that you might criticize, but as I said, there are only a few chapters like it.

**A/N:** _Most_ characters will make at least one appearance. There probably won't be a lot of OC's.  
The "supernatural" aspect will linger throughout the story, but really start to appear in later chapters.  
Also, this is a really short prologue. I deleted the original one...fml  
So, READ, REVIEW, AND ENJOY!

* * *

**Prologue**

Dreams of a utopia have been around as long as humans existed. One man, born under the red setting sun, took it upon himself to guide the world and transform it to an Eden. Without realizing, this man became the murderer he was trying to fight.

He reigned terror across the West, killing anyone he deemed undeserving of life.

Then, one day, love transformed him. The infamous mass murderer became the martyr of atonement.

This is the story of the man who discovered the Fountain-the very same Fountain that resides in the Valley of Light.


	2. Birth

Soichiro Yagami, the sheriff of a small town, arrested and hanged one of the most feared bandits in the west.

The execution of the sheriff's plan was not important, for A. Kinan had surrendered easily, with his hands held high. As they rode back into town, stones were pummeled at the bandit. He was no longer the threat that had once kept women and children locked in their homes and men indoors at night.

It was rumored that when he was on the gallows, he stared out into the crowd of observers and smiled. He was said to have announced that the world would soon be faced with someone much worse, and the crowd had no reason to fear him anymore. He apologized, bowed his head and dropped through the trap door.

The next day, as the red sun set, Light Yagami was born.

"Look at those eyes," the midwife cooed.

Soichiro laughed as the new born grabbed his finger. "He's certainly going to be strong."

"He'll probably become a sheriff, like his dad," Mogi, Soichiro's deputy, winked.

When Light was handed to his mother, Sachiko, he gurgled and smiled up at her. She only gasped, gazing at her beautiful son.

The town welcomed the sheriff's first born son into the world a few days later. Fiddles and harmonicas echoed through the starry night. Feet stomped on the dirt, matching the heavy rhythm of the band. The townsfolk laughed and danced, swinging around and drinking until some could barely stand. Sachiko barely noticed, though. Her face was buried in her son's cradle all night, watching him intently. Although he was only a few days old, she could tell he was extraordinary. His sharp, alert eyes signified that he was studying how people acted and babies rarely smiled when they were first born.

"Mrs. Yagami?" a small voice called.

She turned her attention away from Light for a moment. Little Lawliet stood close to his father, clinging at his pants. His father beamed, giving his son a nudge forward. Lawliet gulped as he took a step forward. He was a quiet, shy child, but believed to be quite intelligent. At the age of three, he had learned the alphabet and had learned how to multiply. And (when he spoke) he had a better grip on language than most children his age.

"Yes Lawliet?"

"Can I see Light?"

She laughed and beckoned him over. Cautiously, he approached her as she placed Light onto her lap. He gazed at Light for quite some time, playing with his tiny fingers. Light cooed, obviously happy with the attention. Lawliet grinned widely, laughing as Light yanked at his raven black hair.

"I think he likes you," Sachiko smiled.

"I like him, too!" Lawliett announced as Light pulled on his finger. The boy laughed again.

After that, the two were inseparable. Whenever Lawliet had any free time, he would walk from his father's ranch to the Yagami ranch and play with Light for hours. Sometimes, Sachiko place Light on Lawliet's lap, as long as he promised not to move. Light would curl up on his lap, slowly dozing off. And Lawliet would always have a smile on his face.

At eight months old, Light took his first steps.

"Mrs. Yagami, come quickly" Lawliet shouted from the parlor.

Lawliet rarely had excitement in his voice. Sachiko ran into the parlor, expecting the worse. Instead, she met a standing Light. He wobbled over to her, a large grin planted on his face.

At nine months, he said his first word: water.

And at ten, he would run to the door when it was time for Lawliet to come over.

Light Yagami turned out to be an extraordinary child and the whole town had high hopes for him. They would praise him as he ran through the town's streets, and even when he stumbled, he was met with applause. Lawliet already planted educational seeds in Light's head when he sang him the alphabet over and over again, giggling if Light mimicked him. The two always made each other laugh. This extraordinary child would soon be met with an extraordinary destiny.


	3. Light and Lawliet

**A/N:** So this chapter is a bit longer. I reckon it's probably going to be one of the saddest chapters in the story, so don't get too bummed heh.

By the way, Light and L are going to be very OOC right now, so just keep that in mind. Okay so, read, review and enjoy!

* * *

"Do you believe in God's existence?"

Light chuckled and lifted his arm, tracing the stars painted across the sky. "Christ, Lawli, don't ask me shit like that when I'm plastered. I can't think straight. All I know is that if God exists, we better start believin'."

They lay under the night sky, staring into the infinite space above them. Nights like this were poetic. The stars consumed the sky, even the full moon was no comparison to the twinkling lights. The hushed winds from across the world itched at the back of his neck. Nights like this reminded Light how insignificant he was. But, he knew one day, he would make a difference. Everyone thought so. Especially Lawliet. Even if neither of them even mattered to anyone else, they would always be vital to one another.

For thirteen years they had relied on one another for everything; entertainment, comfort, advice. They would dream about riding away from the crappy, dry town that only sheltered them and explore the vast world, with so much to offer. Maybe they would become cowboys. Light nearly laughed imagining Lawliet riding on a galloping horse with a hat perched firmly on his head. Lawliet was too scrawny to be a vicious cowboy. The two had never meant a true cowboy or a bandit, but they had heard stories. Before Light's father became the Sheriff, apparently this was a horror town. Light was so bored that he partly wished it still was.

"Want another drink?" Lawliet muttered.

"Yeah."

The fire cracked, its embers twisted through the air. The stench of bad baked beans and stale whiskey smelt sweet to Light's accustomed nose. Lawliet handed him the jug of moonshine, which Light chugged quickly. The foul liquid stung his tongue and burned his throat. Light's face contorted when he handed the jug back. The after taste was worse than the liquor. Lawliet snickered and took a long swig.

"Ahh," he breathed after he put the jug down. "That's some good moonshine."

"To Hell it is."

"Don't be so serious," Lawliet chuckled, wiping his lips with his thumb.

Lawliet's face was flushed; a sweat bead rolled down his cheek, reminding Light how sticky the moist, hot air felt. He peeled off his shirt, tossing it by the fire. Lawliet gazed at Light, immediately mirroring him. His ribs and sternum jutted through his skin. Too scrawny. Lawliet's eyes glittered as he gazed up at the stars.

"I'm not," Light hiccuped.

"You're not what?"

"Serious."

Ever since he could remember, Lawliet had been Light's mentor. Although Light was brilliant himself, he couldn't help but admire Lawliet's logic. Every move he made was carefully planned, and his hesitant nature maintained the normally impulsive Light. Lawliet never searched for company and always seemed completely satisfied around Light. And, even though Lawliet was reclusive, he wasn't shy; frankly, other people bored him.

The two lay by the fire, talking and laughing for countless hours. The flame's light barely revealed the vast land that surrounded him. Lawliet's father's ranch was close by, but when Light tried to look for it, he could only see a fog of black. It was as if they were the only two people on the planet. Strangely, that idea pleased Light.

Nights like this were the only things he had to look forward to.

"I'm beat," Light yawned, stretching his arms above his head. Lawliet didn't reply and only pulled the blanket out of his satchel and spread it on the dirt.

Light stomped out the fire, cursing as a stray ember signed his ankle. When the flame suffocated, darkness clouded Light's vision. Blindly, he reached out in attempt to find his blanket. His hand accidentally grazed against L's sweaty, bare chest and he immediately drew his arm back. It disturbed him when they touched. He couldn't explain the strange sensation that overwhelmed his stomach, but it felt wrong.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"It's 'kay," Lawliet answered calmly, his voice consumed with exhaustion.

Light spread out on his blanket, propping his head on his satchel. He cheard Lawliet shifting onto his own blanket and, after a few minutes, he was snoring softly. Light closed his eyes, allowing the moonshine to rock him to sleep.

Water trickled down a crimson rock with strange patterns eroded into it.

"GET UP!"

"What the fuck?" Light hissed, rubbing his head. Apparently Lawliet found it appropriate to smack him awake.

A sudden gun shot rang across the empty land. The blood drained from Light's face.

"It's coming from my ranch," Lawliet whimpered, yanking on Light's arm. "Get up, come on!"

Light sat up, ignoring the attacking migraine. He heard Lawliet's feet pattering away as he ran. "Wait!" Light shouted after him. "Don't do anything stupid! You don't know what's going on!"

He didn't stop. Light took off, chasing after Lawliet. Another gun shot. His heart raced as they approached the ranch. As Light's eyes adjusted to the darkness he saw Lawliet's silhouette pull out a revolver. Light did the same. No matter what was going on, whether there were robbers or Lawliet's father was just drunk, he would protect his friend. Light immediately regretted the burning desire for excitement.

Lawliet reached the house before Light did and disappeared through the door.

He approached the door, but froze when he noticed the river of blood running through the door. He couldn't breathe as he raised his eyes to behold the horrifying scene in front of him. Lawliet's father was sprawled on the floor, his torso ripped open. Light couldn't tell whether the red tatters were his stained clothes or his insides spewing from his body. His white face was contorted as the blood continued to pour from his chest. Light had never seen a dead body before, but he never imagined his first would be so gruesome. Lawliet was kneeling over him, trying to press on the wounds scattered across his father's body. His crimson fingers trembled.

"Light, ge-get me cloth so I can stop the bleedin'," he demanded frantically. Tears streamed down his cheeks, wiping the dirt from his face clean. He wiped his eyes, smudging blood all over his face.

"He's dead, Lawli."

"There's fresh ones in the cabinet, above the toilet. Go! What the fuck are you waiting for?"

"Lawliet," Light walked to his hysterical friend, kneeling besides him. Disregarding any feelings of discomfort, he grabbed Lawliet's hands and clutched them tightly. With a whisper, he repeated, "he's dead. I'm sorry."

That moment, Light watched as the only person he truly valued fell apart. Lawliet stared at Light's hands, a chillingly numb expression appeared on his face. The tears and trembling stopped. He shut down and sat perfectly still. His once frantic breathing steadied. Blood stained his cheeks and eyes.

"Yes, I suppose you're right," was all he said. His voice was disgustingly callous.

"We'll find the bastard who did this and slit his throat," Light growled. His words failed to imprint Lawliet. The teen remained frozen. "I'm gonna get my father. Come with me. Get up, Lawliet. Let's go. I can't leave you sittin' here, I won't leave you like this."

Lawliet didn't move.

"Shit, Lawli, don't make me leave you here. You can't stay. Get up."

"Just go," Lawliet answered. Light hesitated, but then stood up. All the problems they had had in the past became merely scuff on Light's shoes. He was oblivious how to console his best friend. The person who Light would turn to about the predicament to try and solve it was kneeling on the floor, bathing in his father's blood. The only other person who would be able to help was Light's father.

"Stay here, a'ight?" Light turned and walked out the door, his eyes swollen with tears.

About an hour later, Sheriff Yagami and Deputy Mogi mournfully stepped into the house. A white folded sheet lay across Soichiro's arm. Light shuffled close behind them, his eyes locked on the floor.

"I thought you said Lawliet was here."

Light finally glanced up, feeling more nauseous than he had originally. Bloody bootprints that weren't there before led through to the back of the house. Fear creeped up his spine as he followed them. By the back door, they ended at Lawliet's meticulously placed boots. Light threw open the door, running out into the black abyss.

"LAWLIET!" Light shouted, calling into the night. Silence responded. He kept calling for him until he found himself hoarse and on his knees, gazing into the nothingness in front of him.

The stars twinkled across the sky above. Lawliet was gone.


	4. Beginnings

**A/N:** So the first few chapters were introductions of sorts. The next few chapters will be in Light's P.O.V. and then it will revert back to third (for a very good reason).

Light's still very OOC, but it's all intentional. But, read, review and enjoy.

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As the coffin sunk into the ground, I scanned the crowd again. The hope that Lawliet would appear only tormented me farther. He was gone and, knowing Lawliet, if he didn't want to be found, he would remain lost. But venturing out into the world with an empty heart and fragmented judgment was troublesome. How would he take care of himself? He always seemed to be independent and in control, but the outside world was nothing like their secluded, sheltered town. And after I'd seen Lawliet's reaction, I knew he had cracked.

I should never have left him. I didn't need to get my father immediately; I should have taken care of Lawliet first. But, I abandoned my best friend when he needed me most. And, he ran. I understood the burning desire to run, get away from this godforsaken town, but shit, he was sixteen years old and had never even dipped. We had so many promises to fulfill, so many dreams to aspire to. They crashed and burned, though. All I wanted was to get the Hell out of this town.

"Please bow your heads and join me in prayer," Father Kitamura's deep voice bellowed across the graveyard. As everyone closed their eyes and solemly hung their heads, I examined their faces intently. Their shallow, disgusting faces. They only pretended to care about Lawliet's father. Their false grief for their dead 'friend' was the exact reason this whole place was Hell. In their life, they only look out for themselves; they fear death and cower in it's trying prescence. They should embrace it, keep it close to their hearts. And if God does exist, they should be fucking happy to die if they're the good Christian's they claim to be.

_"Do you believe in God's existence?"_

His voice echoed through my memory. I felt like a goddamn fool crying over my best friends disappearance. It wasn't manly to cry according to the townsfolk, but those fuckers didn't know anything about being manly. Hell, they lived in a shit town their whole lives and only really argued amongst themselves. My dad told me how they used to hide whenever bandits would pass through the town. Hypocrites. Liars.

I shoved a piece of dip into my mouth and spit. My mother's disapproving stare caught my eye. Crap, her eyes were open too.

"Spit that out and bow your head," she whispered. She was never rough, even when she was angry at me. Most of the time, she would just coo, telling me how smart I was. I heard it all the fucking time. How the Hell would I be smart if I was trapped in a town full of idiots all my life?

"Sorry, ma," I spat the dip out onto the dirt.

After the funeral, I practically ran to my families wagon. I couldn't stand looking at these people anymore. But, someone grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. Before I could argue, the beady eyes of Father Kitamura shut me up.

"Light, I saw you disrespectin' the Lord's prayer. Every person in the village had their heads bowed. Do you think that you're better than God? Or are you just one of those ruffians who don't believe in God?"

_"Do you believe in God's existence?"_

I wished I could've answered the same way I'd answered Lawli. But, I would've winded up getting licked and I wasn't in the mood to have sore cheeks.

"I'm sorry," was all I said.

Apparently it wasn't enough. In fact, the apology just seemed to frustrate Father even more. He yanked my ear and dragged me to my parents, demanding they teach me how to be proper. My father apologized over and over, saying that I was just upset that Lawliet had run off and it wouldn't happen again.

"I'm right here," I snarled, strangely infuriated that my father mentioned Lawli's name. "You don't have to talk like I don't understand you. I can speak for myself."

Father Kitamura turned red, then suddenly calmed down. "Yes, well, have a wonderful day," he said as he left the cemetery.

We arrived at the house and I sat on the edge my bed, playing with my pocket knife. Hours, days, months, years passed by. Three years, two month and three days, actually. I was sixteen years old, the age Lawliet left when he left. I rarely thought about him as the years passed-by force. It was nearly impossible to stop wondering where he was. Maybe he was on that adventure we'd dreamed of for all those years, but I'd find myself envious of that idea. That couldn't be it, though; he would've come to get me. Maybe he was just dead.

After three years, my stomach still churned when I thought about a dead Lawli. His eyes and cheeks coated in blood. I stared at the floor. His father's murderer remained unknown and I had stopped looking for clues-even if they had once existed, they vanished after all the chaos. The first murder in 13 years had really stirred up the town. Lawliet's disappearance was barely noted; everyone was too nervous for their own lives.

Cowards.

"Light, come here," my father called gruffly.

I swung my legs over the bed and shuffled to him. My father was the only person who diligently worked 'round the clock to find both Lawliet and Lawliet's father's killer, besides me. Maybe it was because he was the sheriff, but at least he helped. His aid added significance into Lawliet's life, even if it was subtle.

"Yeah?"

"I've been called in a town a bit north called Saisho to investigate a bank robbery, on account of that A. bandit I caught. Remember I told you that story?"

"Yes." Countless times.

"Well, they want me to come up. Apparently there's been a bunch of robberies and according to the pattern, the next place they'll hit is here. I gotta protect our town, and I want you to come with me. You up for it?"

Investigate a bank robbery? Not only did the idea of detective work captivate me, but it gave me an excuse to leave this town. If I had left on my own, I doubted I would be allowed back in and it would break my ma's heart. Now, I was allowed to escape, though, and maybe my father would see I was bigger than this town and let me explore. Maybe even find Lawli.

A large grin spread across my face. An unfamiliar tingle bubbled in my stomach. "Yessir.

* * *

My father and I, along with Deputy Mogi, packed up the wagon and we headed North. My father and Mogi rode on the wagon and I followed besides them on a white stallion.

After sixteen years, I finally rode across the blazing desert, clutching the horse's reigns. My hat clung to my head as the sandy wind whipped against my skin. We rode long and far towards the horizon, with nothing ahead or behind us. The risk of a robbery or hijacking was high, but my revolver bounced along my side, reminding me of the protection it offered. I was free from judgment and surpassed my childhood boundaries. I was ready for whatever came next.

The town of Saisho was nothing like my hometown. The wooden buildings creaked as wind whistled through them. The stallion rocked as we walked through the dusty streets. The townfollk wore huge hats and scraggly beards. A few caught my glance, their shifty eyes glaring. They obviously didn't like strangers, or clean ones, at least.

My father pulled up to the best looking building of the bunch we'd seen, which wasn't saying much. It read "JAIL" across the top in painted, white letters, which had begun to fade. The stallion halted at the horse post and I hopped off, tying his reign to the stand.

"A'ight, son, how you feelin'?" my father laughed.

"Good," I chuckled. It was an understatement. For the first time in three years, I was alive. Lawliet's absence was no longer obvious. The gaping hole that consumed me was bubbling, foaming, leaking from satisfaction. I could practically see Lawliet's reaction.

_"We made it, Lawli," I would laugh._

_"I suppose so." He would shrug nonchalantly, but a small smile would dance across his lips_.

Inside the jailhouse, we met Sheriff Aizawa and his Deputy Ide. Aizawa was unusually strong willed, while Ide just nodded along, intently focused on every word from the Sheriff's mouth. Aizawa and my father became instant friends. Their ideas of justice were quite similar, although Aizawa's town was overrun with drunks and criminals. He said when the bank's wall exploded, it wasn't just one group of bandits who walked in; the entire town piled in to grab some money.

"I jailed most of them over night, but they ain't who I'm worried about. I just took the money back and fined 'em. Of course, they won't pay their fines anyway. But, I wanna catch the guys who blew the hole in the first place."

Aizawa and my father mulled over all the clues, talking about gangs that had been caught around the area. I got bored of their babble and stepped outside. I wanted to check out this giant hole myself. I figured there was no harm. I wandered around the street, searching for the bank. A large man suddenly planted his gigantic, meaty hand on my shoulder. Shocked by the move, I didn't know whether to push him off or act indifferently.

"We donn like strangers in here parts," he spat as he talked, his fat face jiggled. His black mustache was greasy, matching his nearly bald hair.

I was tempted to comment on his sentence, but my better judgment told me he wouldn't understand the constructive criticism. Instead, I took a deep breath and calmly answered, "Just passin' through."

Apparently, showing no fear worked.

The man started to howl, slapping my back a bit too hard. "Im jerst kiddin'," he cackled, wrapping a dirty arm around my shoulder. He stank of tobacco, whiskey and sweat; I had the feeling most people would. "Lemme show yer 'round."

His friendliness intrigued me. I followed him cautiously, wondering if it was all some sort of ploy to rob me. It didn't matter much, because I had barely any money on my person. My father had the rest. He walked through the swinging doors of a saloon and I shortly followed.

It was my first time in an actual saloon, full of rough riders and drunkards lunging at each other form across the table. It was the epitome of all the stories I'd ever heard. Girls in lace dresses danced around, catching men's eyes and bringing their bodies too close. I couldn't tell if they were whores or just teases. The men who ogled them swayed back and fourth to the upbeat music from the piano. Smoke filled the air, making my eyes water. Men sat around tables, cigars perched on their lips, playing poker or arguing incoherently.

The sight of these dirty drunkards intimidated me, but I swallowed my fears and followed the anonymous man to the bar. I forced myself not to make eye contact, since half the men looked like they were ready to pummel someone. I knew I wasn't strong; not yet, at least. Even if someone did lunge at me, I would be able to avert their attack quickly. They all had passionate expressions, which made it quite easy to predict the type of people they were. Even those who sat alone, staring at the wall, made it obvious whether or not I should go up to them. I decided I would socialize after I had a drink with the strangely kind man.

"You, boy, o'er here," he called from the bar. The bartender was pouring a shot for the man and another shot for, I assumed, me.

The stool was covered in a faded, tattered velvet. The tattered red made me suddenly sick to my stomach and I suddenly wondered if Lawliet was still a virgin.

"Whats yer name?" the man asked as he downed the shot of whiskey.

"Light," I answered, unsure how to ask him his.

"A'ight, Liiiight," he howled, his body heaved. I just smiled and threw my drink back. It tasted disgusting. "What's a fella like yew doin' here anyways?"

"I'm here with my father." I suddenly became very conscious of my soft accent and educated vocabulary.

"Just passin' through? Yew came to the wrong place," he laughed again. His meaty hands wrapped on the oak bar in front of him. The bar keep turned and he held up his two fingers.

"I don't have much money on me," I warned him. "So I think this'll be my last, mister-er."

"Kyosuke Higuchi," he grinned at me, his dull eyes slanated. His yellow teeth were covered with black spots. "And yew dunneed to worry, I'll buy you drinks. In fact-" He stood up, turning to the crowd in the saloon, "Next rounds on me!"

The place erupted in roars and hoots, cheering as he sat back down with the nasty smile plastered on his face. "Ya see, I jerst hit me the jackpot. I helped out Beyon' up north and he paid me three hun'ded big uns."

"Who?" I tilted my head curiously.

"Why, you don't know who Beyon' Burtday is? Boy, where do you come from?" He laughed again. My ears perked up. It was worth it to follow this lunatic after all. He might have smelt bad and talked funny, but I had an odd inkling that this Beyond Birthday was a crucial culprit in either the Bank investigation, or just a person whose name I should know.

"Who is he?" I asked.

"Beyon' Burtday," the man cackled. "Lord, where do I start?"


	5. Beyon' Burtday

**A/N:** So, most of the chapter is going to be BB's story told by Higuchi, which means the dialect is going to be...well, you read how he spoke in the last chapter.  
Also, thank you The Color Clear for all your reviews. They brighten my day!

* * *

"Beyon' Burtday was born a while aways from here, past the deserts and where the grass stars to grow. His paw raped and murdered his maw right infron-a him, and they say he's crazy 'cause-a that. But, hell, I dunno. When I met him, he seemed pretty a'ight to me, just a bit whacked out. He just likes morphine is all, but who doesn't?

"His paw got arrested and hanged, so Beyon' was left alone. No one took him in, on account that his paw was crazy and all. They fig'red he'd be crazy too, and they fig'red right. So, he set out west. Guess he hoped to make money or shit. If ya ask me, he came the right way."

Higuchi snickered, downing the whiskey in front of him. He wiped his lips with the back of his shirt and continued.

"He went from town to town, stealin' any shit he could get his fingers on. No one suspected the little kid, on account he was six, but its how he made his livin'. Anyways, apparently someone finally caught him stealin' some fruit or somethin' like that, I dunno, and they told the ol' sheriff and he was given a warnin'. When he went to leave, the sheriff demanded he stay and find hisself a nice home with a nice family. He told Beyon' he could stay with him until he got settled.

"Of course, that didn't work out too good. Beyon' got restless and all and started to steal again. Guess it gave him a rush. He got caught again and the sheriff gave him lickin's and then locked him up for a night. Accordin' to Beyon', gettin' locked up was the best thing that ever happened to him. Beyon' met his menter, or somethin' like that, in the cell next to him and knew what he wanted to do from then on. When the sheriff released him, he acted like a good boy and got an education and erahthin' until the sheriff gave 'im some money and told him to be on his way. He was 'bout eight, I'd say."

Higuichi knocked on the wood of the bar. "Nother 'round, barman.

"Anyways, what was I talkin' bout? Oh right, Beyon' was only eight years ol', I'd say, and he had some money, smarts and a horse. He went all o'er the place lookin' for his menter and when he found him, the real trouble began. Ya see, his menter was A. Kinan, a real famous bandit from a long ways ago. Prob'ly died when you were 'bout a baby."

"Wait," I interrupted him. "I know A. Kinan." I stopped myself, realizing I couldn't say anything about my father without giving away my identity.

"Oh yer? How do yew know bout him and not Beyon'? Anyways, Beyon' stayed with him for bout a year until he died. In that year, I reckon A. told Beyon' all the tricks of bein' a bandit, cause Beyon' is real good at what he does. Or maybe he was jerst born bad. I couldn't tell yew. After A. died, no one heard of Beyon' for a long time 'til he showed up in a town and shot a man in the middle of a street. 'Parently, he was killin' people for a long time and no one had realized who it was. The sheriffs of towns got nervous 'cause they were 'fraid they'd have another A. on their hands, but I think Beyon' is better than A. He's got a quick brain and he's real good with a gun. Hell, I'd be 'fraid to challenge him, but when he told me 'bout the job and money, I couldn't resist."

"What did you do for him?" I asked.

"Shit, I dunthink I should tell yew," he narrowed his eyes. His eyes glittered from the whiskey, and I decided getting him plastered would be the way to get the answer out.

"Want another drink?"

"Aw hell yeah," he chuckled and raised his fingers to the bar tender. "More o'er here."

"Give us three rounds," I added casually. Higuichi seemed fine with it.

After a few more rounds, Higuchi's words were slurred and I could barely sit on my seat straight. But I held my composure, watching Higuchi's eyes for signs he was gone.

"ShiLight, yer notta bad feller. Bet Beyon' wood like yew," Higuchi mumbled. "He likesyew smart folk."

"Tell me more 'bout him."

"Lemme jerst take a wizz an' I'll tell yew errything."

He hobbled towards the back of the bar where I assumed the outhouse was. I spun around in my stool, trying to catch my balance. I felt loose and too good. A beautiful girl from across the saloon, dancing with a shaky, old man immediately made eye contact with me. Had she been watching me this whole time. A small smile appeared on her lips and she winked at me.

I stood up, clutching the stool to balance myself. The girl was headed towards me. Around her, a sea of men shot fiery looks at my direction. I tried to straighten myself up, but my shoulders suddenly felt too heavy. She had soft, blonde hair and her chestnut eyes glittered as she gazed seductively at me. Her figure was the kind that men killed for-but I found myself oddly uninterested in her.

"You new in town?" she purred, her voice a bit piercing. Although I was uninterested, the alcohol urged me forward. I had never been with a woman before-never even kissed one. Most of the girls I met my age were not stimulating. Her eyes ogled me, scanning my body.

"Yes, miss, just got here today," I answered.

Her smile grew wider. Her lips pouted softly as she gazed into my eyes longingly. "My name's Misa Amane, but you can call me Misa."

"A'ight Miss Misa. My name's Light" I sat back on the stool and, realizing my profound rudeness, I glanced back up at her and asked if she'd like to join me.

She immediately sat down and ran her fingers down my arm. The whiskey made her touch burn my skin and I suddenly yearned to bury my lips into the crevice of her neck. I reckoned she smelt good, better than Higuchi did. She was prettier than all the other girls, which I assumed was why I received glares from around the room when she walked up to me. It didn't matter much, though, because I didn't want her that way. I had to tame the alcohol raging through my body, telling me otherwise.

"Would you like a drink on the house, Light?" she asked, batting her long eyelashes at me. "We don't get a lot of good lookin' fellas 'round here, since most of the men are so rough. But, Higuchi seemed to take a liken' to you, so that will always keep you safe. Besides, I'm sure you're much stronger than you look."

"Thank you, ma'am," was all I answered. I couldn't tell whether I should've been insulted or flattered, but I decided to ignore it. I could already tell she was a bit empty headed, or maybe just a whore. If she asked me for money, I would just leave.

"I bet there 're tons of girls who like you back where your from. Are you seein' any of them?"

I smirked, trying to suppress the laughter that bubbled up my esophagus. At least she was blunt. I couldn't help but feel satisfied that the prettiest girl was talking to me, while all the other men in the saloon had to watch from afar. My eyes lingered on her pouty lips as she handed me another shot. I had lost count how much I'd had to drink, but I threw my head back and downed the sweet whiskey anyway.

"Good eve'enin, Miss Misa," Higuchi suddenly appeared behind her placing a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes widened and her face suddenly deadened. But, she regained her smile as she turned to him.

"Good evenin', Higuchi. How're you doin' tonight?"

"Real good, ma'am," he slurred. His eyes ignited with lust as they wandered down to her busting breasts. He licked his lips. "Yewr sittin' in my seat, sweetheart."

She blushed and stood up, making eye contact with me one last time. "Sorry 'bout that. You boys have fun, Ill be over there dancin' if you need me," she winked at me before she walked away. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand, surprised how sweaty is was.

"Shit, she's perty. I'm thinkin' bout makin'er my wife sometime," he chuckled. "Anyways, remember wut I'as sayin?"

"You were 'bout to tell me about Beyond's job for you."

"Oh yer, Beyon's workin' on some pro-" he hiccuped. "-ject, or summfin, and he needed me to kill someone for him."

"Who?"

"This L fella. So I killed him real good. 'Parently, they 'ad worked together and L left him. I blew his perty lil'face off."

* * *

**A/N: **Hope you liked the eh-hum, fun dialect.


	6. Like a Virgin

**A/N:** This story is NOT going to be a LightxMisa story, but there will be something between them this chapter (mainly because Light's drunk).  
I do not own the title , "Like a Virgin", but you know that!

Reviews are appreciated, as always.

**Chapter Rated M for Sexual Content and violence (sort of).  
**

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* * *

**

I stared intently at Higuchi.

He had just confessed a murder to me, which means I could tell the Sheriff and he would be apprehended. But, if I didn't know who this 'L' was, my evidence would be unstable. Plus, if he just gave me the initial and not the full name, I would've been unable to check if L was actually murdered. Even if L did exist, if I asked Higuchi his full name, I would look suddenly suspicious. Although Higuchi was plastered, I didn't want to risk ruining the fact that I was investigating.

At least, that's what should've gone through my head. But, I was wasted.

"L? What kinda name is L?" I snorted, sending myself into a chuckling fit.

"Fuckif I know. Turns out his names Lind L. Tailor. Excuse me-was," he laughed along with me.

His large hand patted my back and, between the alcohol, the laughter and the music, I felt like I was home. Everything glittered and spun around me as we continued to laugh for what felt like hours. Finally, we died down, clutching our ribs and breathing heavily. How intoxicating it was to laugh! All my worries and loneliness evaporated.

"Barkeep," Higuchi called. "One las' round."

He filled our glasses and we downed them just as fast. I could no longer taste the bitter liquor; it poured down my throat easily. Suddenly, Higuchi's head slammed into the bar in front of him. I prodded his back, wondering if he had just died.

"Aw shucks, don't worry about him, he gets piss drunk every day and passes out on my counter," the bartender informed me as he took our shot glasses. "I tried to cut him off once, but he refused to pay me, 'less I gave him more. Now I know."

Misa suddenly appeared next to me, her smile bright. I got the inkling she was waiting for this.

"Hi, Light!" she chirped, unusually excited to talk to me. But, the liquor enveloped my better judgment and I was suddenly excited to see you too.

"Miss Misa," I attempted to tip my hat. It fell off.

She bent down to pick it up, giving me a clear view down her tight bodice. When she looked back up, I tried to avert my eyes, but it was too late; she noticed. She giggled and placed her hand on my thigh. "There's somethin' 'bout you, Light. I can't put my finger on it, but I think I like you."

"Ohyeah?" I asked, my tongue swollen from the whiskey. My head started to get very heavy. I wished I could pass out like Higuchi, or at least have had the ability to run off. I never got too drunk and I didn't know what I was capable of.

"Yes, I can't help it. You just have such nice eyes," she giggled, taking my hands.

We talked for a little while. Well, she talked, I listened. Well, I tried to listen. Everything flickered around me. She made my stomach bubble, or maybe it was the alcohol. Yes, the alcohol consumed my judgment and emotions, twisting them into a disgusting state that I would never have amounted myself to, otherwise. Laugh with Higuchi? Want to get closer to Misa? She inched closer to me by the minute, asking me questions about my old town.

I accidentally let the name of it slip.

Quivering, I jumped up, only to topple over. I had done what I was trying to avoid all night; reveal my identity. My first name didn't matter, but my town and my last name were crucial. And I had just told a complete stranger confidential information. I lay on the ground, not wanting to get up. It felt so good to lay down and forget about the mistake I had made, and the mistake I didn't want to make later that night. Misa knelt besides me, asking if I was okay.

"Yep," I tried to say.

She helped me up and promised to take me to the bedroom so I could get a good nights rest and sleep off the alcohol. I wanted to object, but a bed sounded like heaven at that moment. I took her hand as she led me upstairs. Step. Step. I caught the banister as I almost slid down the stairs. At least I only made an ass out of myself once that night.

Her room was a dingy box with white furniture and laced curtains to hide it's actual misery. She guided me to the bed and lay me down. She curled in next to me. Her body was warm. Her breath was hot. She traced her fingers down the buttons of my shirt. She spoke, but I couldn't understand her. I was beginning to grow numb. I couldn't move, but the room wouldn't stop spinning. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping sleep would consume me.

Her hot breath felt so good against my neck. I turned to face her, allowing my lips to press against hers. Any logic was subdued by the whiskey. Her lips tasted like tobacco, but I couldn't stop myself. I hungrily kissed her over and over, my fingers traced down her shoulder. The sleeves of her dress fell.

Suddenly, she was straddling me. I was losing focus of time. I was losing focus, in general. My fingers were trembling as I pushed her dress all the way off. Her eyes stared longingly at me. I'd never been needed before. She was kissing my neck, whispering incomprehensible words into my ear. My spine tingled. I wanted more. But the alcohol tired me. I focused on her soft body, running my hands across her back.

"I'm a virgin," she suddenly said. It was shocking, but comforting.

"Metew," I replied, continuing to explore her body.

"Will you leave me?"

"No," I lied.

Her fingers roamed to the buttons on my shirt. She undid them painfully slow. Finally, she pulled it off and caressed my chest with her long fingers. Suddenly, my pants were off and she was naked underneath me. When did I get on top of her?

Slowly, I pushed into her moist cavern. Intense pleasure rolled from my toes to the top of my head. I thrust harder. She moaned softly, begging me to go slower. But, I couldn't stop myself. And she didn't seem to care. She was so tight. Her legs wrapped around my waist as I pulled in and out. My fingers clutched on the pillow underneath her, ripping the fabric.

"Oh Light," she moaned, her nails digging into my back.

It felt so good. I couldn't stop myself. The pleasure built up as I thrust faster. Grunts escaped my lips. She was begging for more.

A strange sound of running water pounded on my ear drums. I was terribly thirsty.

Suddenly, something bashed into my cheek.

"What the fuck?" I growled, sitting up.

Light poured in through the window. Wasn't it just dark out?

My vision was a bit clouded but I could see an angry Higuchi stood over me, his fists clenched. Misa was begging him to stop and calm down. The hangover made it difficult to perceive what was going on. She was naked. I was naked. My stomach dropped.

"Bastard, I paid for yer drinks all night and this is how yew repay me?" Higuchi shouted.

He took a swing at my jaw. The impact cracked the bone out of place. I toppled over onto the bed, clutching my face. What the fuck had happened? Visions from last night suddenly began to pour into my head and I put two in two together. Higuchi told me he wanted to marry Misa, and I had slept with her. My head and jaw ached.

"Stop!" Misa shrieked, grabbing his wrist. "I told you I didn't love you, why can't you accept that? I love Light!"

I barely noticed her proclamation. I was too busy scrambling out of the bed and pulling on my pants. She clutched onto Higuchi's arm, holding him back as he attempted to charge at me.

"I'll kill yew, Light!" he swore as I ran out the door. What other choice did I have?

Apparently Misa wasn't very strong. As I reached the saloon's swinging doors, I heard him clomping down the stairs, shouting at me. Suddenly, the sound of a gun shot rang through my ears. The bullet whistled by my ear. I decided not to let it get that close again. The stallion I had rode into town on was still by the Sheriff's office, waiting for me. I cursed as I realized I left my shirt inside, but I couldn't stop now. Another gun shot. Sweat dripped down my neck. I wouldn't die, not this way.

I untied the stallion with shaky fingers, glancing back. Higuchi charged towards me, aiming the revolver right at my fast. He pulled the trigger. The rope came loose and I jumped on the horse, kicking it with my spur. It neighed and took off.

I allowed myself to look back. Higuchi was shouting, cursing, firing his gun at me, but it was no use. I was too far. The adrenaline that pumped through my veins cooled off and I found myself laughing from the excitement. I had escaped, and I had a reason to run. If my father asked where I was, he would hear the story and he would understand why I had to leave. I pulled the reigns so the horse would turn as it rode out of town into the desert. Into the middle of nowhere.


	7. Heading East

_A seven year old Light aimed his gun at Lawliet's head. It felt light in his hands; the bullets were scattered around his feet. Lawliet raised his hands, a playful grin dashed across his face. He had promised the Yagami's that he would watch Light until they got back from a night of dancing. Light adored spending alone time with Lawliet because he agreed to play whatever Light wanted and he always had fun ideas. Today, Light was a rebel from the North, who came down to escape the warrant on his head. Lawliet, the sheriff of the town, found out who Light was and planned to kill him. Lawliet had lost this round; intentionally, of course.  
_

_"Bam!" Light cried, his voice failing to echo the harsh sound of a firing gun._

_"Oh, you got me," Lawliet clutched his heart dramatically and fell on his knees. _

_ Light cackled, triumphantly puffing his chest out. "I win!" _

_Lawliet stood up and dusted the dirt off his knees. For some reason, Light always wanted to play the bad guy. When Lawliet asked him why once, Light shrugged and claimed it was funner. Lawliet tried not to let the statement bother him, but he's spent hours wondering how he would convince Light being a good person was fun, as well._

_"I lost one of the bullets," Light's eyes suddenly glistened in fright. "My paw's gonna kill me if he knows I touched his gun."_

_The open barrel in Light's hand was full, except one slot. Lawliet comforted him and promised they would find it. They began to search around the area. Lawliet glanced carefully behind rocks, hoping there would be no snakes underneath it. Suddenly, Light cried out._

_"Light?" Lawliet ran to the boy, who was sitting on the ground, clutching his ankle. A snake hissed and slithered away. Light had been bit._

_"It hurts," he sobbed. _

_"Don't worry, it'll be aw'right," Lawliet promised, rolling Light's pant leg up to get a better look. Two puncture marks were surrounded by swollen, red skin. "Light, I think that was a venomous snake. I'm gonna have to suck the poison out, and we'll bring you to my ranch so my dad can fix it up for you."_

_Light whimpered as Lawliet brought his lips to the wound. When Lawliet made contact, Light snatched his ankle back, staring intently at the ground. Lawliet didn't argue, but just firmly held his ankle and began to suck on the wound. The mixture of blood and venom was nauseating, but Lawliet knew he couldn't stop. When he figured he'd gotten most of it, he spit at the floor and wiped his mouth._

_"Let's go, Light. You'll be okay, I promise." _

_And Light was; Lawliet was always right.  
_

_

* * *

_What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

I stared out at the horizon in front of me. The sun was still rising. I decided to use it as a compass so as not to get lost. If I needed to go back, I would just head west. For now, though, the East was summoning me, and I had no choice but to listen. I was on a vast sea of sand, heading for an island that I wasn't sure existed. I began to wish I'd planned this better.

My jaw ached from Higuchi's blow. I stopped my stallion and slid off. Lightly I touched where he had punched me; a surge of pain leaked through my body. I whimpered, wondering if it was broken or just unhinged. I was laughing before, so that was a good sign. But, it was locked out of place now. I closed my eyes, dreading what I had to do next. Carefully, I clutched my chin and took a deep breath.

I hesitated, unsure if this was the proper thing to do for a popped jaw. What I needed was medical help. I turned to face the West, suddenly yearning to go back to town. But, I know what awaited me; an angry Higuchi and a too passionate Misa.

Misa. I had idiotically slept with her, giving her something that she would hold dear forever. She said she loved me, but she didn't know what love was. Hell, she didn't know my last name. She was just infatuated and let her feelings take her on some fantastical journey that had no destination. If she really loved me, she wouldn't have thrown herself at me so easily. It would've been paced and passionate; to make sure it was the right choice. But, I was intoxicated and she'd taken advantage of that. If I didn't feel so indifferent about the matter, I would say I was raped.

No, maybe raped is too harsh of a word. Used. I didn't feel used, but I was. Misa had looked at me with those longing, needy eyes, portraying me as the hero in her imagination, but I wasn't her hero. I don't even like the girl. But, we fucked and that was it.

I've heard rumors that sex leads to consequences, but this wasn't what I imagined; bare chested, in the middle of the desert, running from a mad man.

I stared down at my bare torso. It was red from the sun exposure, and I'd only been riding for two hours. At least I had my hat and pants.

I snapped my jaw back into place, yelping. The sound of the crack was almost as painful as the adjustment. I massaged my jaw, trying to ignore the unbearable pain. Sex with Misa had been beneficial in one way; I distracted myself so I wouldn't be hesitant. But my jaw was killing me.

The horse whined, uneasy from standing in the hot sun. I climbed back on top of him and with one click of my boot, the horse sped off. It glided across the packed sand, taking me on a quest to find something.

Someone.

Lawliet's face flashed across my mind. His hard, black eyes and thin, chapped lips. The way his arms seemed to run on forever. His hunched over appearance. That smile that would only come if he were either plastered or in a particularly good mood. The way he said my name...

_"Light?"  
_

_"Yeah, Lawli?"_

_"When we get outta here, we should be blacksmiths."  
_

_"But yesterday you said we should be sheriffs."  
_

_"I know. That was yesterday."_

Indecisive, unpredictable Lawliet. His logic always guided him, but I could never tell where to. He always called me impulsive, but his mannerisms were meticulously difficult. Every time he ate, he would discover a new way to play with his food. It took him about fifty tries to find a comfortable seating position_. _He lacked any type of passion, and his emotions were rarely displayed. Yet, I never knew what he would say next.

An overwhelming urge to sleep started. I could tell it was from the heat, but I couldn't stop until I found someplace to rest. Maybe I would sleep out in the middle of the desert, like Lawli and I always wished we could do. But, I didn't want to, not if he wasn't here. Besides, how far could the next town be?

The horse was exhausted. He swayed as he trudged across the desert. The sun was almost setting behind us, casting a long shadow. We followed it, unsure where it would lead. My lips were so dry; I was parched. The heat had made me perspire until I was sure all the water in my body was gone. I slumped over the horses neck, wishing he would go faster. My body to be hydrated and fed, but there was nothing I could do. I would die because I had sex with Misa, because I drank with Higuchi, because I agreed to go with my fucking father.

They were all mistakes mistakes, which traced back to my original one; abandoning Lawliet.

"I'm sorry, Lawli," I muttered into the horse's rough mane.

Suddenly I caught a glimpse of something ahead. In the soft twilight, I couldn't tell what it was, but it looked like a town. I clicked my spur into the horses side a few times, but he was stubborn. Finally, I hit him as hard as I could and he began to gallop. As we got closer, I could definitely make out a few buildings. Finally, I could eat and rest. My tongue was sand in my mouth, I was so parched. My lips cracked as I smiled. Even the dingy town felt welcoming.

I stopped my horse in front of the saloon and attached it's reigns to the post. It was the only building that's lights were on. Laughter and voices shouted over each other from inside. I climbed up the steps and pushed through the doors. Suddenly, the men were silenced; each of them stared at me. Apparently, this town wasn't big on strangers.

I didn't say anything and just headed for the bar. Every part of me was exhausted. All I wanted was a bit of water and a place to sleep. Thankfully, I some money buried deep in my pocket. Enough for food and a room, at least.

"Can I help you?" someone called across the silent room. I didn't want to turn; I couldn't fathom dealing with anyone at that moment. Foot steps started to approach me, and I suddenly wished I had headed West.

"He's talking to you," the bartender sneered.

I finally turned, only to face a revolver aimed for my head.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?


	8. Fun and Games

**A/N: **This chapter is going to take a quick break from Light's story and get into the head of the most infamous bandit in the west. Yup, BB!  
Also, in the "Beyon' Bertday" chapter, I had changed his ages, but I didn't save them and then I posted it...So he's about 10 years older than Light.

**Rated M** for yaoi.

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Just as I expected. Lawliet, my L, was challenging me. How clever, L; Lind L. Tailor. But, I was always a step ahead of him. It was why I hired Higuchi to track him down: To see if he had decoys all across the country. And he did. According to Higuchi, people called Tailor Lawliet when he was young. Of course, this was a false fact that L had planted.

Lind L. Tailor: Age 20. Born and raised in a small town; his parents died when he was 15. At 19, he raped and murdered a woman out of cold blood. He was to be hanged, but he was let go if he promised to tell people his name was 'L' and that he was called Lawliet when he was young.

My cunning L, using a criminal who should have been dead for your own advantage. Tailor was placed to see if I would go after L; it was a challenge and, by having Higuchi kill him, I accepted it. What other choice did I have? My L's face haunts my dreams and forms anything pleasant into a nightmare. This addiction, this yearning was too strong to resist. I paid Higuchi well and sent him off.

L had been testing me since he left, seeing how far I would poke my head out so he could snap it in half. But, I wouldn't fall for his tricks. I knew him well for quite some time, after all.

Three years ago, I was headed back to my house when I my horse nearly trampled over a boy in the middle of the desert. He was covered in blood; the smell of the salty delicacy pierced my nose. The sun was peaking up from the horizon. The boy, who was curled on the dirt, stared up at me with a void gaze. From just his appearance, I could tell he had been awake all night. The blood was dried on his cheeks and his fingers and pants were stained. His large, wide eyes had heavy bags underneath them

"Boy, what are you doing out here at this time?" I asked. "Don't you know there are crazy people around here?"

"Do you have water?" was all he replied as he pushed himself to his feet.

His knees wobbled and he collapsed again. I hopped off my horse and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. He gratefully accepted the canteen I offered him, taking a long drink. When he finished the container, he oddly lay against my chest and closed his eyes. He smelt of blood and sweat. I didn't ask him whose blood it was or why it covered him, frankly, I didn't care. It intrigued me to see a hollow teenager blanketed with blood.

Why did I help the boy? The truth was he reminded me of myself; physically and psychologically. I recognized the emptiness that lurked in his eyes; his indifference towards death; the desperation for affection as he cuddled his cool body against mine; the blood he had bathed in. Plus, he would die relatively soon.

_Lawliet; 5 years, 214 days, 13 hours, 42 minutes and 20 seconds._

"Would you like to come to my home and sleep in an actual bed?"

"Yes."

He didn't speak for three days after that. If I asked him a question he would simply nod or shake his head. And if it wasn't a 'yes' or 'no' question, he would just ignore it. His delicate body usually crouched in a strange position, with his knees at his chest. Most of the time, I would have to force myself not to cradle him and bring him to my bedroom. He was young, but A. had taught me age didn't matter; only desire did. Besides, I could see in his empty eyes that whatever had happened to him made him fragile and easy to mold.

"Boy," I had to refer to Lawliet as this because he had never actually told me his name. "Would you like some jam?"

Steadily, the boy opened his mouth. I braced myself to hear his cool, ragged voice again. But no words came out. Instad, he just shook his head. I shrugged, more for me.

"Bu-but do you have anything sugary?" he suddenly asked.

His voice sent shivers down my spine. "Not here, but I will get some on my next trip out," I promised.

My yearning for him was originally pure lust. Maybe I sought in him what A. found in me. With A. dead, I was left with no one. I had to fend for myself, teach myself how to fulfill the blood lust that burned through my veins. A. taught me not to kill on a whim, but observe. With my unique eyes, observing was a bit of a hobby. When he died, I decided I would only kill those who were close to death. It was a good choice, too; it gave me a strict sense of morals that I could obey.

"My name's L, by the way," the boy suddenly said.

"L?"

"Yes."

He was smart. My identity was the only thing that had protected me all these years from being caught. No one could connect the name "Beyond Birthday" with my face; another trick A. had taught me. Most bandits kept their original names, but they all got caught sooner or later. I figured they did it for the fame and the respect; they got the hanging they deserved.

"Can I tell you a secret?" I asked him.

Lawliet blinked at me, but finally said sure.

"I know your name is Lawliet."

At first, his eyes filled with panic, but as I explained my unique eyes to him, they began to shine with wonder.

"When will I die?" he asked. I told him

He stuck his thumb into his lip and stared absentmindedly at the floor. "That's soon."

I shook my head solemnly, hiding the excitement that rose in my chest as I thought about killing him when his time was low. He shrugged his shoulders and continued to stare at the floor.

Two weeks passed and we'd grown comfortable with each other. He relied on me for everything, allowing me to control him how I pleased. Whatever will power he had had before I found him in the middle of the desert had completely evaporated. He would let me manipulate him any way I pleased, pointing out when I was trying to trick him, but he would do what I wanted. One day, I told him about A. Kinan.

"I know the man who killed him," he muttered. "He was Light's father."

My ears perked up. A boiling desire for revenge burned in my chest. "Whose Light?"

"No one," he answered calmly.

The first time he allowed me to touch him, he also allowed me to take his innocence. It was a cold night and the wind howled out the window, rattling the frame to get in. Normally, he slept on the floor, but that night, he immediately went to my bed. I restrained myself from touching his body, until he took my hands and placed them on his bare chest. For a moment, we lay in silence as I felt his heart begin to beat faster.

The connection was evident. I grabbed his chin and roughly pushed my lips on his. He didn't fight back and, after a few seconds, he kissed me back. His lips were sweet and I longed to feel the inside of his mouth. I forced my tongue into his mouth. Soft moans escaped his mouth as I dragged my tongue along the palate of his mouth. I embraced him, pulling his body towards me. His body was limp, but it was easily to hold him. After moments of hesitation, he finally accepted my embrace and wrapped his own arms around my torso. His fingers traced my spine and I immediately felt myself grow from his touch.

His skin was warm and soft. My hands rummaged all through his body, until I got to his pants. As I slipped my hand in, grasping him firmly, he gasped. His large eyes strangely lit up; it was the first time I had seen any reaction from him. I yanked his pants off and tossed him onto his stomach on the bed. He lay there silently, bracing himself. I wet myself with my saliva and positioned myself. I heard him whimper, but it only made me want him more.

I shoved myself into him. He only grunted, digging his fingers into the pillow. He felt so good, so tight. When A. was alive, I had only received, so it was a sweet relief to thrust into the boy as hard as I wanted. I pounded into him; he never made much noise. Ecstasy burned in every inch of my body. I was building myself up and, when I felt as if I were ready to burst, I drove myself deeply into him one more time, pouring myself into him. I pulled out and flipped him over, kissing him roughly. He didn't object to not receiving his own pleasure, he just lay there in silence.

Thinking about it now it tormenting. The way he used to stare at the ceiling after I fucked him; how he would never make a louder noise than a grunt; how he would never look at me while I pounded into him. He always matched me intellectually, knowing exactly what I wanted. But, one day he decided he was too good for our chaotic lifestyle. What I had imprinted to him had faded. He didn't want me anymore. He had wrote a note.

I clutched the piece of paper, that's contents I had memorized.

_Dear BB,  
This isn't what I was meant for. Don't try to find me.  
-L_

Of course I would try to find him. What else did I have to do? I didn't want to find him and kill him because I resented. No, it was because his time was running short. Besides, everything that happened between us was all fun and games, and I would soon be triumphant._  
_


	9. The Composed Captive

**A/N:** Poor Light, he really has the worst luck.  
R&R and enjoy.

* * *

Cold, blue eyes glared at me from behind the gun. The boy had to be younger than Light. His blonde hair swept down to his chin and his body was obviously under-developed, yet those melancholy eyes were void of remorse.

"Hands up," he barked.

Light raised his hands, remaining composed. It was no use to react frantically; it would probably entice the boy farther.

"Mello, relax," a redhead with strange goggles touched Mello's waist. "He looks thirsty. Give'm some water before you decide whether or not you should shoot'im."

Mello hesitated and finally signaled the bartender to get Light a drink. "Drink up, boy," he demanded.

So Light gratefully did. He drank it slowly, the water rushed down his throat, cleansing the burning thirst. He closed his eyes, trying to devise a plan while. The saloon composed of large, pissed off men who could snap Light in half with their pinky fingers. Mello and his redhead friend stuck out, though. Light assumed Mello commanded these men and was the brighted, with the exception of the redhead lounging in the chair. The cup drained and Light no longer had an excuse to keep his eyes closed. He had yet to think of a plan.

"Who sent you?" Mello asked, his voice suddenly calm. Matt caressed Mello's thigh, easing him in ways only Matt could. If it weren't for his idiot followers in the room, he would've grabbed Matt and ravished him on the table. But, first he had to deal with the skinny prick who strutted into the saloon like he owned it. He was a good looking guy, except for the fact that he had no shirt and his skin had been burnt bad. There was only one reasonable explanation; he was sent to spy on Mello. What he didn't know, however, was this saloon was only for the members of Mello's gang.

The boy's eyes narrowed; he was thinking. Immediately, Mello couldn't stand him. He had always been competitive, and this man was about to pose a challenge.

"Sent me?"

"Yeah. The sooner you admit it, the sooner I'll let you go," Mello lied.

His lie was obvious; Light picked up on it immediately. Even though he hadn't been 'sent', he was immediately put under suspicion because he was a stranger. Unlike the other saloon, this place wasn't full of visitors; these men all obviously knew each other. Light cursed himself for letting his obscene thirst lead him to this place. He could run, but not with the gun aimed right at him. And this Mello was anticipating pulling the trigger.

"I just wanted some water," Light promised.

"Get him another glass," the redhead suddenly spoke. The bartender immediately passed Light another glass. Maybe Mello wasn't in charge.

Mello shot Matt a dirty look. His loyalty seemed to have a limit; he never followed Mello blindly. But, maybe it was why Mello couldn't keep his hands off him when they were alone. It was considered dirty where he was from, man with man-which made it all the better.

"Alright, if you won't admit it, I'll just kill you," Mello cocked the gun.

Matt stood up, placing his hand on his lover's. Sometimes Mello could be so impulsive. He was a genius, but he was too passionate. If he gave way to every emotion, it would certainly lead to his death. That was why Matt was there; he was Mello's balance. Matt didn't believe in random murder, and always encouraged Mello to not act so abruptly. Mello yanked his hand from Matt's, immediately understanding the message. He was sick of Matt telling him what to do, though.

"Don't let him leave your sight," Mello barked. "I'll be back in a second. And you-boy-don't move." He began to walk outside with Matt nearly trudging on his heels.

Light leaned against the bar, deciding if he was going to die, he wouldn't beg. Sure, he didn't want to die, but like Hell he would ask anything from these pathetic people. In fact, he might get the chance to manipulate them. A man with a broad jaw caught his eye from across the room and a frightening grin spread across his face. Light averted his gaze, deciding not to make eye contact with these sick people. He partly wished he were a spy, sent to find this gang; at least his demise would've been much more interesting. Instead-he was running from an idiot because he had sex..with an idiot.

'I'm an idiot,' Light decided. 'From now on, I have to plan my actions much more carefully. And no more drinking-heavily.'

Outside, Matt pulled a rolled up cigarette from his pocket. He stuck it in his mouth and lit it, sucking in the sweet tobacco. "What is it, Mello?"

"As if they ain't suspicious enough, you keep _touching_ me," Mello snapped. "Shit, Matt, fuck off."

Matt chuckled, taking another drag from his cigarette. "Mel, don't hide it. You're just angry 'cause I keep tellin' you what to do. I told you from the beginning, though; I ain't gonna tolerate your reckless behavior. You'll get yourself killed and I don't want that to happen."

"I can take care of myself."

"Whatever you say, Mel."

Mello boiled with rage. His lover was so casual, so indifferent, yet he always wanted Mello to follow his beliefs. His fingers shook as he tried to decide what to do with the man inside. Normally, he would just have killed him. What's one more death on his conscience? Yet, he couldn't get Matt's nagging morals out of his head. The damn guy had really shoved them in hard.

Finally, Mello gave in. "If we don't kill him, I'm gonna keep'im here until we figure out what to do with him."

"Fine," Matt agreed. A triumphant smile spread across his face, tempting Mello to punch him in his jaw. With a grunt, Mello turned to the door and walked inside. He grabbed a tuft of Light's hair and pulled him close to my face.

"Listen here," he spat. "We're gonna keep you here. You'll do house work and all the shit that these boys refuse to do."

Light couldn't argue with that. At least in that scenario he got to live. Plus, it gave him a plethora of time to devise an escape plot. Maybe one that involved killing all these low lives-but what would Lawliet think? He had always encourage Light to see the world through merciful judgment's eyes. Did he still believe that?

Mello dragged Light through the room, yanking him by his hair. Cat calls enveloped the room, all directed at Light. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable, conscious of all the eyes watching him. He had never received so much attention, negative or positive. He glanced back, catching the red head's eyes. He threw him a sympathizing glance, but immediately covered it up. At least there was one sane person besides Light in the room.

The room that Mello tossed the in was more like a closet. He chuckled, gazing down at Light maliciously. "So, if you're going to be here, what's your name?"

Light didn't give him the satisfaction.

"Aw shucks, you don't have one?" Mello mocked him. "Well, I guess I gotta give you a name then. Aw'right, lemme think. How about Kira? 'Cause you got killer good looks."

Mello laughed at his own joke and slammed the door, leaving Light in the dark. He sighed, his breathing escalating. He had to recount the events in his head; he arrived as Saisho, met Higuchi, got plastered, slept with a girl he just met, nearly was murdered by Higuchi, rode out to the desert without a shirt to escape, suffered from dehydration, and winded up in a strange saloon with a bunch of bandits. Maybe he wasn't cut out for adventures. But, he had a strange inkling his journey was far from over. He still had yet to settle at a destination, whether it was Lawliet or something else. He partly hoped it was Lawliet.

He was left alone for hours and he found himself drifting off to sleep.

_"Did you do it?" Lawliet asked._

_"Yeah. How many you got?"_

_"4,562,712," Lawliet proclaimed._

_"Really? I only got three." Light frowned, wondering why their numbers were so far off. He glanced back at the sky, only counting three stars. "Yeah, look Lawli, there are only three."_

_"Oh, that's strange. I counted much more than that."_

_Light laughed, turning on his stomach. It was nights like these he always looked forward to. Lawliet's lips were swollen from the heat and his shirt was clinging to his body. Light had the strange desire to touch him. _

_Suddenly, a strange sound roared behind them. Light turned to face a tidal wave rushing towards them. _

_"Come on, Lawleit!" he cried, but the stunned boy just lay, watching it. "We have to go!"_

_Light had no choice. He abandoned Lawliet and ran as fast as he could. When he glanced back, Lawliet and the water were gone. Instead, there was a strange rock, eroded with intricate patterns; water poured from it's mouth. Light was parched._

_"Is he dead?" _

_Who said that? Light glanced around, trying to find the source._

_"I donno, kick'im."_

A leg suddenly slammed into Light's stomach. His eyes flew open and he curled into a ball, whimpering. He was sure he had heard something crack. The blow caused a pain that pulsed through his body over and over. He coughed, blood spat from his lips.

"Yeah, guess so," the kicker said. The two shadows stepped from the door frame; light poured into his tiny room.

"Sorry about that," Mello suddenly appeared, a coy smile perched on his lips. He wasn't sorry.

Although, he knew the pain Ross' foot could cause first hand. Before Mello controlled the gang, Ross had been the leader. But, he was unorganized and nearly got them all killed several times. The men's shallow brains made them easy to manipulate. So, Mello stepped in, promising safety, money and women; and he provided it, too. Under his orders, rarely no one was hurt. Sometimes, someone would break from the original plan and they would either die or get caught, but it wasn't Mello's problem if they didn't want to listen. Ross originally hated the idea of Mello in charge and, after an argument, he proceeded to kick Mello in the stomach. For several days, he couldn't move. But, his leadership skills never withered and finally, Ross accepted him and apologized. He became Mello's puppet, like the rest of them.

"So, are you ready to tell me why you came here?" Mello smirked, wondering if the boy could talk.

"I came here because I was thirsty."

The boy gazed up at him; his eyes were hollow and blood leaked from his lips. He looked pathetic, but Mello couldn't help but note he was tougher than Mello originally perceived. After such a painful blow to his ribs, the boy composed himself and proceeded to glare at Mello. Mello decided he would break him.

"If you were thirsty, why the fuck would you be roamin' 'round in the middle of the desert?"

"I was thirsty _because_ I was in the middle of the desert," the boy coughed.

Mello raised his eyebrow, chuckling slightly. "You got a pretty bad temper-but not worse than mine. So I suggest you start talking."

The boy sighed and began to tell his story. His voice was weak, but he held himself together quite impressively. The story of a dreary romance and failed journey sent Mello into a hysterical fit. He hoped it was true, just because it was the most entertaining story he'd heard in a while. "So, you fucked this girl and then you almost got killed 'cause someone else was crazy 'bout her?"

"Yeah, pretty much," the boy murmured.

"You're aw'right," Mello laughed. "But it doesn't mean I'm gonna set you free."


	10. Matt and Mello

**A/N:** I'd like to thank my two avid readers BleachedBlueCat210 and The Color Clear (once again).  
As always, read, review and enjoy.

* * *

Mello ran his fingers through his blond hair, admiring his reflection in the looking glass. Somehow, he'd been blessed with good looks and intelligence. He pouted his lips. Raised his eye brows. Blew his cheeks up. No matter what he did, he still looked damn good.

"What are you doing?" Matt chuckled.

Mello jumped up from his chair, clearing his throat. "Nothing! And don't barge in like that, you know I like my privacy."

"Sorry," Matt chuckled.

He lay down on Mello's bed and propped his feet up on the brass headboard, receiving a stern glare from Mello. He waved off the response as he admired his lover. The reason they had separate bedrooms was so they could continue to hide their relationship; it was mainly Mello's idea. Matt didn't really care whether or not the brutes knew, although he'd rather not be chased down by a group of furious homophobes carrying torches-or whatever it is homophobes did. He had heard dozens of times that any attraction to the same sex was unnatural, but it felt so right to Matt. In fact, he was quite open to the idea.

Unlike Mello, who put up a huge fight. Matt would catch Mello staring at him and checking his own appearance in the glass on his vanity. Hell, Mello had a vanity. They were only found in girl's bedrooms; but no one argued when Mello wanted one. No one ever argued with Mello-except Matt, of course. It gave him strange satisfaction to get Mello riled up until his face turned purple. Oh, when Matt got him to admit his feelings, he swore Mello's head was going to explode. He couldn't stop laughing as Mello stormed off after he confessed he couldn't stop thinking about Matt.

Even when Mello lost, he still wanted his own victory. And Matt always allowed him to win somehow. Besides chocolate, sex, and bossing others around, it's what satisfied Mello.

"I gotta tell you the story the kid just told me. It's the funniest shit I've ever heard."

Matt sat, listening intently as Mello retold the story he'd heard a only a few minutes ago. He found himself cracking up, especially 'cause of Mello's dramatizing arm movements and expressions. When the story was over, Matt couldn't help but feel quite content with Mello. Recently, he had begun to (reluctantly) embrace Matt's advice and his reckless behavior decreased ferociously. Matt had also noted that Mello laughed more; the weighing conscience after killing whoever he pleased had become a heavy burden to bear. He was still hesitant to approach situations cautiously, but with Matt's consistent support, it had gotten easier.

"Matt, I dunno what I'm gonna do with him. I can't hold him here forever-" Mello abruptly stopped, pulling a chocolate bar from his hidden breast pocket. He viciously bit into it; his blue eyes grew callous.

"You don't gotta spare him-you can kill'im if you really want. I just want you to think 'bout it" Matt placed his hand on Mello's thigh, tugging at his pants. "Come here. We have 'bout an hour until everyone wakes up."

A small smile spread across Mello's lips. He re-wrapped his chocolate bar and climbed on top of Matt, kissing him softly.

Matt-his polar opposite. He rarely thought about himself and approached everything reasonably. He was passionate, but his emotions didn't drive his actions. He calmed Mello down when he needed it, and riled him up when he didn't. His quirky goggles, witty remarks, and sly smile gave him a unique touch that Mello knew he would never find again. After Mello submitted to his feelings for Matt, there had never been a moment where they faltered.

Mello's soft, passionate kiss puzzled Matt. Mello's moods always bounced around, causing each affair between them to be unique. Maybe he just wanted attention today, or for Matt to remind him he was beautiful. He had caught him checking himself in the vanity again. Matt slithered his arms around Mello's neck. Matt planned each kiss perfectly; their lips moved in perfect harmony.

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door.

"Fuck," Mello snarled, pushing himself off Matt. At least these idiots had the courtesy to knock before entering. "What?"

Ross swung the door opened and leaned against the frame. "What're we gonna do with that kid?"

Mello had been asking himself the same question all day. "Shit, I dunno. Make him sweep or somethin'."

"I think I broke his rib."

"When?" the chilling indifference in Mello's voice bothered Matt.

"When I kicked him."

Mello snickered and unraveled the chocolate he had stored. He took a bite, thinking for a moment. "Aw'right, make'im sweep anyway."

"Mello," Matt hissed warningly.

"What, Matt? Do you want to clean the floor instead?" Mello's eyes glinted maliciously.

Matt fell silent, wishing Mello didn't feel the need to put such a tough front. But, it was necessary if he wanted to keep the control. And that's all Mello really wanted; control. In the gang, their relationship, even in food. The reason Mello loved chocolate so much was because his parents used to forbid the smooth sweet. Mello liked everything his parents hated. Sometimes, Matt couldn't help but think Mello only confessed his feelings because he knew it would drive his parents insane. It wasn't a comforting theory, but it haunted Matt.

Ross shrugged and left them alone again. Mello turned and walked back to his vanity. He sat down and took a bite of chocolate. Matt watched him through the reflection, but Mello avoided his gaze.

"I'm gonna help the kid out," Matt said and left the room.

"See ya," Mello snarled as the door closed. Pestering, nagging ass. Whatever the situation, whether Mello was content or pissed, Matt always drove him fucking crazy.

Outside, Matt gaped as Ross and Neylon dragged the boy from his tiny cell and tossed him to the ground. They shouted at him to get up and when he tried to lift himself, his trembling arms gave way and he collapsed again. Ross raised his leg, about to kick him.

"STOP!" Matt demanded. Obviously aggravated, Ross relaxed his leg and narrowed his eyes.

Light gazed up at his savior. It was the red head, the one who seemed to have a relaxing affect on Mello. He silently thanked him; the pain was unbearable. The skin around his ribcage was a sickly yellow color and he was sure he could see part of his bone protruding where it hadn't before.

"Go upstairs or somethin', I don't care where," the redhead instructed the two. They obediently turned and headed for the stairs; Mello's influence apparently rubbed off on the redhead. "C'mon, I'll help you up. If you don't sweep, though, Mel's gonna be pissed and believe you me, he ain't pretty when he's pissed."

Light gave his shaking hand to the redhead's outstretched ones. With all his strength, he pulled himself to his feet. But, lack of food and the bruise was crushing his energy. He wondered if he would die in that hole in the way. "Wh-what's your name?" he said, surprised how shaky his voice was.

"I'm Matt," Matt grinned. "Can you walk on yer own?"

"Yeah, I think. It was just difficult to get up."

Matt let go of Light and he stood up straight. His rib killed him, but he had no choice but to suck it up. Besides, he couldn't reveal any weakness, even in front of the seemingly sane Matt. Light wouldn't have been surprised if Mello used Matt to fuck with Light. But, Light readied himself. Matt led him to the main room in the saloon, where Mello had pointed the gun at Light's face. He handed Light a broom, a small smile on his lips. He had his own broom. The two swept in silence. Light began to use the broom as support to stand, which made it much more difficult to sweep.

Matt suddenly stopped sweeping and watched Light struggle. "Are you sure you don't need help?" He chose his words carefully, hoping they wouldn't offend Light's obvious pride.

"I'm fine," Light lied.

"I'm sorry about this," Matt murmured as he started to sweep again.

Light didn't respond, not sure how to answer. Why was Matt so unbelievably kind to him, especially considering he lived in a house with a bunch of air-headed muscles? How did he even get himself mixed up in this gang?

"Matt," Mello's voice made the two jump. He was standing in the doorway; he had been watching them for a while.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"Sweepin'."

"I see that. Can you come with me?"

Matt hesitated for a moment. "Fine."

The two left the room, leaving the wilted Light draped against his broom. There was something off between the two; Light decided he would investigate as much as possible and observe from afar. If there was something, Light would use it to his benefit. Especially if it meant getting the Hell out of this place.


	11. Utter Darkness

**A/N:** Warning: this chapter is going to be a bit dark and very intense. Very short chapter, but very necessary.

**Chapter Rated M** for violence and rape.

* * *

My entire body numbed as I finally lay down in my dreary cell. Light illuminated from the crack in the door. I leaned against it, covering it with my body. The absolute darkness was satisfying. Maybe this was what death felt like; if so, I opened my arms to it. After sweeping, Mello had forced me to wipe down all the tables. And since I no longer had the broom to lean on, it was impossible to stand up. I finally collapsed from exhaustion and hunger. Matt, thankfully, brought me back to this place; we were silent until we reached the room.

"There's nothing I can do for you," he told me. "Mello isn't easy to persuade."

Then, he left me alone. To drown out everything that's happened, escaped from my present reality and escape somewhere-somewhere. My mind was foggy; all I could think about was Lawliet.

_The gentle breeze suddenly ceased. There was no longer any way to escape the burning sun. Lawliet chuckled and beckoned me to the barn in his ranch. It reeked of horse manure and chickens. He began to climb the ladder, going above one of the stalls. I immediately followed, watching my step. The ladder had a tendency to be slippery._

_"Are you tired?" he asked me when I got to the top._

_"No, why?" _

_"It took you 2 more seconds than it normally does."_

_"You count how long it takes me to get up the ladder?" I laughed, kneeling down in the welcoming hay. _

_Lawliet shrugged, his cheeks suddenly flushed-a rare occurrence. Before I could ask him what he was thinking, he stood up and walked to the barn window. The sun's swollen rays illuminated his pale skin and, when he turned to face me, there was a smile on his face. His eyes shone incredibly; I had never seen someone so angelic. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. His slouched posture, his coy smile. It was this moment when my stomach first began to bubble ferociously. When touching him hurt me. I had to look away; whatever I felt was wrong.  
_

I missed it, the tingling sensation that his touch brought. How it made me nauseous, yet tranced_. _It was more intoxicating than moonshine. With Misa, I had partly hoped I would feel it again-the unexplainable desire, the burning need. But, it wasn't anything I had hoped for.

I began to drift off, carried away by dreams of Lawliet. Maybe I was going crazy, but I embraced it.

Suddenly, the door creaked open. I nearly fell backwards, but caught myself last minute. Pain rippled across my chest and I immediately seized my aching rib. I turned to face whoever opened the door; it was the man who'd kicked me. I whimpered, crawling away from him. He didn't speak, just watched me. I tried not to cower, but his gaze penetrated any boundaries I had. He closed the door behind him and before I could say anything, he put his disgusting hand over my mouth. It smelt like pork rinds, sweat, and blood. His finger nails dug into my cheeks and I cried out; only a muffled whisper escaped.

He laughed callously. His other hand traced down my sunburned torso and lingered right by my wound. I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing myself. I tried to focus on Lawliet, on my mission to find him, on Misa, on anything. But, his fingers suck into the wound. My body spasmed and I became limp. There was no use struggling; I was his play thing. He snickered again.

Rage burned through me, boiling my blood. His fingers danced across my chest. Fear flushed away the anger. Adrenaline pumped through me veins; my body told me I had to run, had to escape, get out of his dirty clutches, but what was I to do? My heart pounded as I heard his belt unbuckle. Sweat poured from my forehead. My fingers trembled. My breathing was shallow, sharp, painful. What the fuck was happening?

There was no escape, I would be stuck in this room until I died. And this disgusting creature would laugh. He pushed my face against the wall, turning me onto my stomach. I could feel him; hard, pulsing, wanting. He pounded into me, tearing me apart. Tears streamed down my face, covering his hand. He laughed again. Something snapped, something vital; my conscience, my remorse, my compassion; it was gone. Just like that. He continued to break me, smashing the pieces into smaller bits. Until I was nothing on the floor but ash. He spit on me. Then he walked out, leaving me to die.

No more images of Lawliet, that fountain, or even Misa ran through my brain. All I could see, all I could feel, was the total darkness surrounding me.


	12. The Plan

Discovering the boy's mangled, half dead body branded Matt. He stood, frozen in the doorway; the smell of blood and sweat nauseated him. The image imprinted in his mind, and would last there until he died. He knew it would. Those limp eyes covered any emotions, if there was any left to cover. His chapped lips were covered in blood, along with the floor of his cell. But, he never showed any initiative to move. An indescribable horror. Worse than watching a human die. Worse than taking a life.

Matt quivered. "I'll get you water," was all he said. He stumbled away, gasping for air. The room stank worse than death and, if the boy hadn't had shifted his gaze, Matt would've assumed he was dead. Death would've been a gift compared to the Hell the boy had gone through; whatever the fuck it was.

"Mello!" Matt panted, swinging the door open.

"What?" Mello grumbled.

"Wake up, you have to do somethin'. I-I can't even look at'im."

Mello sat up, rubbing his eyes. "What're you talkin' 'bout, Matt?"

"That guy, Mello-somethin' happened to that guy."

Mello casually walked out the room, refusing to let Matt's frantic gobble phase him. He got to the door, immediately wrinkling his nose. He had seen a lot of shit, but nothing like the boy. He hardly moved, barely breathed, so close to death that Mello smelt it on him. His eyes were lifeless; whatever hope he had was beaten away.

"What happened to you?" Mello asked, suppressing his horror. The boy didn't answer. Mello could barely stand looking at him; he was pitiful. His stomach heaved as the boy lifted a shaking arm; he swallowed the bile before it came out. The scene sickened him so much that trying to just describe it made him dizzy.

Later that day, after they'd let the boy compose himself for a few hours, Matt found himself needing comfort. Normally only Mello searched for comfort in their relationship; Matt was always content. But nothing sat right in him. His mind spun and his body shrank. When they were alone, Matt linked his fingers between Mello's and rested his cheek on Mello's shoulder. Mello became rigid to his touch. His blue eyes reverted to their original callous state; they became his mask. The pity for the boy had become so overwhelming that Mello couldn't look Matt in the eyes without fearing he would notice.

No, he didn't care about the boy; after all, he was probably a spy. But the sole fact that one of _his_ men had performed such a disgusting act irked him. They went past his demands, making their own moves. And pathetic ones at that. Whoever had done that to the boy deserved to be shot, but no one admitted it when he confronted them. Besides, Mello couldn't help but feel sorry for the boy. His story, if it was legitimate, was hilariously unfortunate; until that day. After what he had been through, his life would be Hell.

Suddenly, guilt pained Mello. What was he supposed to do, let the boy go? So he could tell the authorities about their location, forcing them to move? He would suffer the rest of his life anyway. It would be best if he was just put down.

"I'm gonna kill'im Matt. Tomorrow."

Matt sighed, "I think you got no other choice now." He thought for a moment before continuing: "You should at least get'im drunk tonight. Let'im be happy-or at least forget."

Matt the saint. Mello nearly rolled his eyes as he agreed.

Light only listened to Matt. He didn't trust him-he didn't trust anyone-but Matt seemed to be looking out for his well being. It didn't matter much anymore. Any goodness and righteousness that lingered in his soul before had be wiped away. But he was far from empty. He had never wanted to watch a human being suffer, but if he ever got his hands on that _thing_, he would tear him apart, limb by limb. Peel his skin off. Feed him to the wolves. Burn him. Kill him. Kill everyone like him. They didn't deserve to be on the planet, not with good people. Not with people like Light.

Matt handed him some water and bread, then lit a cigarette. "Who did this?"

Light didn't answer. Matt's compassion had been profoundly helpful, but Light didn't need it anymore. He just needed to escape. He would come back for the thing one day. He scarfed down the bread and chugged the water, satisfied as his stomach finally stopped growling.

"Want?" Matt offered him a cigarette. Light shook his head. "Tonight, we're gonna get you nice'n drunk."

"Why?"

"'Cause Mello feels bad. But don't go tellin' him I told you that," Matt grinned, taking a drag from his cigarette. There was something else up. Mello may have felt bad; Light watched his horrified reaction when he first saw Light. But Light knew Mello wasn't doing it out of the goodness of his heart. He would just have to be careful.

Or maybe they were gonna kill him. No, not until he destroyed that _thing_. He needed a plan, and fast.

Just as he began plotting, fate sent him a gift. Matt turned around and the match box flew from his jacket. He didn't hear it land; he was shutting the door as he was leaving. Light gazed at the matchbox. Fire. It had so much potential. He could burn this entire place down, send everyone straight to Hell with him. But no, that wouldn't be satisfying. He couldn't die, not yet. Not while people like the thing polluted the Earth.

An idea suddenly struck him. He sat up, lusting to carry out his plan. The pain in his rib bashed at his skull; his torn open body whined from the movement. He didn't care, though. He sat for hours in the dark, planning carefully how it would be done and how he would avoid harm. Then his door opened. He shielded his eyes from the light.

"Do you need help getting up?" Matt asked.

"No," Light struggled to stand, rejecting Matt's hand when he held it out.

Together, they walked to the main room. Light hobbled, trying desperately to stand up straight. He wouldn't allow the thing to be satisfied, to think that he had broken Light; fixed would be accurate. He received puzzling glares as he followed Matt to Mello's table. The thing was sitting there; perfect.

It sneered as he got closer. Yet, Light could see a hint of surprise in those blackened eyes. He wanted desperately to lunge across the table, but he kept himself composed. There would be no signs of weakness or distress. The thing would wait, watching him, but Light would show it that it didn't do a damn thing except make him stronger. His mind became his weapon, and what a weapon it would be! More deadly than a gun, more frightening than any Birthday Boy or A. Kinan. But, only for those who deserved it. He would reign justice upon the land.

'Thank you,' he thought as he glared at the thing. It stared back, but it was obviously taken back by Light's assault.

The bartender brought over a pitcher full of moonshine. The thing finally broke the tension and began to guzzle down shot after shot. How predictable. Light nearly laughed as the thing continued to follow his plan perfectly.

Mello, who was sitting next to the thing, kept rejecting Matt's whispering conversation. Light had the feeling they were lovers. The way Matt gazed admirably at Mello and how Mello seemed to flush whenever they made contact made it obvious. It was also apparent that no one else noticed; this room was full of idiots. Even better.

About halfway through the pitcher, the thing called for more. Light only had a few sips; he needed to keep his composure. Mello had too much, but he sat perfectly still, watching over his minions with his arms crossed. The bartender came back and refilled the large jug. Perfect.

Light reached out, acting like he was about to pour some. Adrenaline rushed through his veins. He had never physically harmed another human, but his body reacted like it had been waiting for him to his whole life. The thing scanned the room; his eyes glazed over, bored and plastered. To pour the moonshine from the gigantic jug, Light had to stand up, which made his job easier. He stood up, his body twitching from pain.

He counted to three in his head. His fingers shook as he started to pour. One.

Everything slowed down around him. He became alert, focused, and ready. His pain had ceased, covered by hatred and adrenaline. Two.

The thing's eyes lolled around; a disgusting smile plastered on his face. It would be the last time he smiled. Three.

Light splashed the rest of the jug on the thing. It covered the thing's body and some splashed on Mello.

"What the fuck!" Mello shouted and stood up. Moonshine drenched the left part of his body.

The thing was puzzled at first, but Light only had a quick second. He grabbed it's gun and struck a match, tossing it onto it's lap. Suddenly, it's entire body engulfed in flames. It screamed, sobbing for someone to put it out. Before anyone had time to react, Light grabbed Matt and held the gun up to his head.

"You do anythin', he dies," Light growled.

Mello froze. Suddenly, tons of guns pointed towards Light. He gazed at Mello, waiting for him to make his move. But Mello wouldn't let Matt die.

"Don't shoot," Mello shouted at his gang.

No one did, but they all waited earnestly for their next command. Someone was trying to put the thing out with a blanket. It's arm swung up, embers danced from his skin. It's hand merely brushed Mello's cheek, but Matt watched in horror as the flames spread across the left side of Mello's body. He cried out, smothering them with his gloved hands. Others put it out with water, blankets, shirts, anything they could find.

"KILL HIM!" he shrieked, clutching the left side of his face.

But Light was already out the door. He tossed Matt onto the porch outside and ran over to the horses. His stallion was still attached to the post. He flung himself onto it and they took off into the night.

Matt scrambled up. A bunch men ran outside the saloon, screaming for blood. They were too late, though. The boy's plan had worked; he was long gone. Matt ran inside, covering his nose from the putrid smell of rotting flesh. Ross was burnt to a crisp, frozen dead in the seat. Mello was hunched over the floor, clutching his left eye.

"Mello?" Matt whimpered as he knelt by his lovers side. "God, aw'right, let's get you to your room. You're going to be fine, okay? Just fine."

Matt scooped Mello up and, ignoring the frantic cries from the men who had stayed behind, carried him away from the chaos.

* * *

**A/N:** This isn't the last of Matt and Mello (not even close).  
But I hope you enjoyed it!


	13. Tangled

**A/N:** Okay, so I'm dividing the chapter up. Before it was Light and then Matt and Mello, but the Matt and Mello will be in the next chapter, and I'm going to RE-WRITE that part.  
The Light part of the chapter (that's this chapter now) is NOT re-written. Just the beginning flashback was added.  
Sorry if there's confusion!  
Okay, so enjoy!

* * *

_"Dancins' lame," Light grumbled, blushing as Kiyomi Takada waved at him from across the room. "She keeps lookin' at me, Lawli. I know people start goin' steady right 'bout now, but shit Lawli, she's a bit too...I dunno."_

_"You're only eleven," Lawliet shrugged. "You don't need to rush. Do what you want."_

_Kiyomi strutted towards Light. A smile grazed across her thin lips. "Hi, Light," she said, taking his hand. Light swallowed, a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. "Wanna dance?"_

_Light cleared his throat, glancing over at Lawliet. He cast Light an indifferent glance and shrugged. Light wished he would say something to stop this. He didn't like Kiyomi; she was too stuck up for him. _

_"Uh, maybe later," Light said. Kiyomi pouted and left the two. _

_"Why don't you wanna dance with her?"_

_"I dunno. Should I?"__ Hell, what would Light want from Kiyomi anyway? She was just a girl. _

_"You can't expect me to decide everything for you," Lawliet sighed and began to head towards the exit. __Rejection pierced through Light as he watched Lawliet leave.__  


* * *

_The cold clutched to Light's bare torso, numbing his sore body. The rush of adrenaline ceased a while ago, but Light's fingers still tingled. The thing burned alive, sitting in it's disgusting chair. It was it's own fault. Killing another human didn't affect Light like he used to think. Before he was captured, he figured killing a person was the worst thing for a person's soul. But, it was quite the opposite. He felt cleansed, pure. He wiped some scum off the Earth's shoe...burned it off.

He chuckled, surprised how _enjoyable_ it was. Of course, it didn't mean he would go off on a murderous rampage. No, he would kill those that did. His name would be feared by bandits; he would purify this world as killing the thing had purified him. Everyone said he was destined for greatness, and he just found his destiny. He would observe the criminals before he judged them and learn their patterns and weakness, then use it against them. Just as he had used the relationship between Mello and Matt.

Mello. He would go after him, next. The last Light had seen of him, one side of his body had caught fire. But, Light knew he wasn't dead; it would be too easy, too unsatisfying.

Light's body cried out in exhaustion. His muscles ached in the cold, begging him to stop and sleep. But, he couldn't. Determination drove him across the desert, heading back to the town of Saisho. When he had fled, he had been sure to continue West in a straight line. Saisho was only a day's trip away, straight East.

Just as the sun began to rise behind him, he caught a glimpse of the town up ahead. It had only been four days since he left, but his change was evident. The horse trotted through the town. He stopped at the jail house/sheriff office, wondering where Higuchi was. Light would kill him if he saw him, easy. He wouldn't let such a low, pitiful person hurt him.

His father was asleep inside, his head resting on the desk. Light touched his father's back. He snapped awake.

"Light, what happened to you?" his father gaped at him. The sheriff stood up carefully, examining Light's beaten body. "We should get you to a doctor."

Judging from his father's stern look, the tales of Light's endeavors had spread across town. But what happened here was nothing compared to the past few days.

The doctor wrapped Light's ribs tightly, instructing him not to move around a lot. "It would be best if, on your way back, Light rode in the wagon. He needs rest."

When they left the office, Misa was waiting for him outside. How'd she know he was here? Her brown eyes twinkled with tears. "Oh Light, are yew okay!" she cried, wrapping her arms tenderly around Light. His father scoffed and headed back to the sheriff's office.

"Yes, I'm fine Miss Misa," Light peeled her off him. "Just-don't touch me."

"Sorry, Light," she chirped. "But I have good news! They locked Higuchi up for tryin' to shoot at you. He'll be there at least 'til you leave."

The next few weeks passed by unbearably slow. Misa clung to him constantly, his father wouldn't take his eyes off him, and the bank robber case which the sheriffs worked on was painfully simple now; it was Mello and his gang. Of course, Light couldn't say that without revealing where he had been. Any connection made between him and Mello would be the death of him; he was sure Mello already had his men hunting for his blood.

Light sat at the sheriff's desk, staring out the window. How unbelievably boring. All he wanted was for them to solve the case so he could get paid and begin his mission.

"Light?" Misa poked her head through the door. The investigators ignored her entrance.

"Yes, Miss Misa?" Light sighed.

"Can I talk to you outside?"

In front of the sheriff's house, Misa glanced around to check if anyone could overhear. She then smiled broadly as she proclaimed she was pregnant. Light's stomach dropped. If he got her pregnant that meant...

Two weeks later, a priest pronounced them man and wife.


	14. Abomination

**A/N:** Okay, so this is the MattxMello rewrite. It's short, but I think I like this better than how it was originally.  
Enjoy!

* * *

It'd been five weeks, five long weeks. Mello's wounds healed quickly and never got infected thanks to Matt's tedious attention. Every moment, Matt would tend to his lover, providing him with anything he needed. Yet, Mello barely spoke and sunk into a pool of self-pity, refusing to even look in a mirror. When Matt tried to cheer him up, Mello would simply scoff. It tore Matt apart, but there was nothing he could do. He would never quit on Mello, especially when his lover truly needed him. Besides, when Mello reverted back to his condescending, callous, rude self again, it would be worth it.

One morning, Matt found Mello perched in front of his vanity, gazing at his reflection. Hope ignited in Matt's chest. The bandages that had been concealing Mello's face lay limply on the floor. The burn wrapped around his left eye faded dramatically since five weeks ago. But a hint of disgust glistened in Mello's eyes.

"Hey," he smiled softly, walking over to Mello. He pressed his lips on the top of Mello's hair; the strands tickled his nose. "You look good."

Mello scoffed, shooing Matt off of him. "Yeah, well I feel like shit."

Matt set down the bowl of fresh water he had brought and picked up the clean rag. He began to pat Mello's burn; water dribbled down Mello's face an neck. Mello shoved the rag from his face and buried his hands in his fingers. He had yet to leave his room. The thought of stepping out in public, becoming a spectacle for everyone to gawk at sickened him. Matt tenderly avoided mentioning the burn and looking at it, except when he cleaned it. His avoidance only made Mello feel worse.

The first time he'd looked in the mirror, he found his fist through the wall. His knuckles bled profusely as Matt wrapped them, telling him not to be upset and that it would be fine. Mello checked his reflection only once a day, and kept the mirror covered for the rest of the time. He wanted to get used to his disgusting appearance, but even after five weeks, he couldn't accept it.

"Don't push my hand away," Matt demanded as he began to clean the wound again. Mello pulled off his shirt and placed it neatly on the vanity. The burn ran down his body, it's fingers grazed the tip of his pants. "If you wanna make it better, you gotta let me clean it."

"It's not gonna get better," Mello suddenly snapped, standing up. He yanked up his shirt and hung it across his torso so it covered the scars. "Just leave me alone."

Matt sighed, wiping his forehead. Mello's original self-pittying behavior had just recently morphed into fury. Watching him throw his fist through his wall when he first saw his face terrified Matt. Mello was passionate, but he never spiraled out of control. It was the burn; it made him crazy. Matt could see the anger constantly blazing in his eyes. Mello blamed everything; Ross, the boy, himself, alcohol, God. He let his emotions run wild, neglecting Matt's wishes and pleas.

"You aint' gonna kick me out, are you?" Matt forced a chuckle, unsure of how to react. The old Mello, although impulsive, was extremely easy to read. Matt always knew what he wanted, and could provide it for him. But now...

"C'mon," he pulled at Mello's arm playfully. "Let's go to bed. Forget 'bout that thing for one day. Besides, I think it kinda suits you. All mysterious and dangerous and what-not."

"Shut up," Mello yanked his arm away. He rarely let Matt touch him anymore.

"Well, if you don't wanna go to bed, let's go outside or somethin'. Get some fresh air. It'll be good for you instead of bein' cooped up in this room."

"No thanks," Mello snarled.

Matt sighed, placing the wet rag on the vanity. He picked up the dirty bandages around his feet and began to scrub them in the bowl. "You should stop hidin' in here. People are gonna see you eventually."

"Stop hiding?" Mello was suddenly screaming. "Stop hiding? You hypocrite, you can't say that kinda shit. Tellin' me to stop hidin' when that's what you've been doin' your whole life."

He pulled Matt's goggles from his eyes, stretching the elastic that stuck them to Matt's head. Matt's eyes, one brown, one blue, averted their gaze. Ever since he was a kid, the goggles had been plastered on his face to avoid questions or stares. Truth was he liked his eyes, but he couldn't stand the attention they called. So, he hid them. "You're right."

"No one besides me knows 'bout your _deformity_. Why the Hell should people know 'bout mine?"

"You're right. But I just think you outta try a different perspective. The scars make you all intimidatin'. You can use 'em to your advantage. They give off that, 'I can survive anything', look," Matt laughed, trying to direct the conversation away from his eyes.

"It's a disgusting abomination," Mello let go of the goggled, which snapped right back into Matt's face. He yelped and yanked the goggles from his face, tossing them aside. With shaking fingers, he pulled a cigarette from his pocket, took out a match and lit it. Suddenly, Mello's eyes widened as Matt pressed the flame up to his cigarette.

"What?" Matt glared at him, unamused from the pain stung around his eyes.

"Where did that boy get those matches?"

"I dunno." The horrid realization struck Matt; the boy had gotten them from _him_. It was the only thing that made sense. He stole them from his pocket when Matt wasn't looking. But when? The boy rarely touched Matt, except when he'd helped him up. And even then, he couldn't have reached into his pocket. Was the bastard that stealth?

Mello growled suddenly. "Get outta my room."

"Mello, calm down, I-"

"Don't tell me to calm down," his voice was barely a whisper. "I don't do too good with traitors."

Matt gaped at him. "Mello, listen to yourself."

"Fine, fucker, if you won't leave, I will. You want me to get out of this room so damn much, so I'm fuckin' gone. But I don't need you; I don't want you. In fact, I _want_ you to stay the fuck away from me. I'll go kill that bastard who did this to me myself without your goddamn mouth runnin' in my ear," he pointed at his face and immediately pivoted on his heel. Matt grabbed his arm.

"Mello, don-" Mello yanked his arm from Matt's grip and struck him across the cheek. The cigarette flung from his lips. He stood in horror, gazing at his lover. No, he was no longer his lover. Mello fled from the room as Matt picked up his cigarette with trembling fingertips. Tears streamed down his cheeks.


	15. The Fire

**A/N**: More time is going to fly by. It's short...again...I think I'm going to stop pointing out the obvious.  
Read, review and enjoy!

* * *

_Lawliet gazed up as the drops of rain fell from the sky. It rarely rained two times in one week.  
_

"Oh Light, isn't it just fantastic?"

Light's mom forced his father to buy them a small house, just to get started. It was on the edge of his hometown, only a few miles from his family's ranch. Both Light and Soichiro weren't pleased about the arrangement. Soichiro hadn't planned for his son to impregnate a saloon girl and marry her, and Light certainly didn't want this. Misa giggle, dragging him to every room of the house, asking him what he thought, telling him what she liked, just going on and on. Light was stuck with an airhead who couldn't get her mind past making babies and cooking.

Besides, Light had just figured out what he wanted to do. Instead, he suppressed his profound yearning for justice and watched as Misa fixed up their new bed. After what he had been through, this couldn't be his life. It seemed surreal; the quaint house with the beautiful wife. It was nothing Light wanted.

_Light jumped from the porch, stomping through the puddles of water to reach Lawliet. _

"This can be the baby's room" she cooed, admiring the wallpaper. "I hope it's a girl. Don't you hope it's a girl Light?"

"Yeah," Light sighed.

There was something more waiting for him. His destiny exceeded past settling down and having kids running around his feet. The burden, the need, overwhelmed him. Without it, the darkness consumed him, tossing him back into the thing's disgusting clutches. It didn't matter if he was dead; Light could practically smell him.

_He tackled Lawliet, sending them both flying into the mud._

Days turned to months_. _Misa had become so large and hormonal that Light found himself throwing back glass after glass of whiskey every day to deal with her. To deal with himself. His past. Everything. He had so much to do, so much he wanted to do, yet he was trapped with Misa. Sometimes, he wished he had died in that tiny closet of a room. He had tried to kill himself once, but when the gun licked his temple, waiting patiently for Light's finger to pull the trigger, he placed it back in the drawer and left the room. Self pity was not the answer; he wouldn't die before he rid the Earth of scum like the thing. It was his only purpose.

Before Misa went into labor, Light found himself swaying over a bar, staring into his empty glass. The bartender asked if he wanted another, but Light couldn't speak. He was so heavy, so empty. Instead of performing his mission, he was getting drunk alone in a saloon while his pregnant wife cried herself to sleep at home. Pitiful. He had complete reason to pity himself; his life was dull and pointless. He wondered if he should try killing himself again.

He staggered from the bar and started to head towards his house. In the distance, flames danced towards the sky. He narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out the source. It didn't take him long to figure out it was his house.

_The wretched feelings Light had when he touched Lawliet vanished. The rain seemed to ease them._

He had never run so fast in his life. The only thing he could think about was his freedom. If Misa was dead-he was suddenly sickened by the eagerness for his wife's death. Maybe he was no better than the monster. Maybe it wasn't Misa he was worried about anyway. She was six months pregnant. When Light pressed his hand against her stomach, he felt their baby kick. Misa wasn't what sent him dashing across the baron land; it was his kid. His only kid.

Sure enough, his house was engulfed in flames. The wood cracked, snapping as the fire spread. He ran to the door, but the handle burnt his fingers. He called for Misa. No answer. What had he been doing? Moping around, wasting his life so pitifully. He should have found a way to juggle Misa and judging criminals. He shouldn't have spent his time feeling so damn bad for himself. But, she was gone. So was his baby.

He slumped onto the ground, running his fingers through his hair. Something glittered in the dirt next to him.

_Lawliet rolled onto his back, letting the rain wash the mud from his face. Light immediately mirrored him._

It was the necklace Higuchi had given Misa over a year ago. She had kept it, since it was so valuable. But she'd never worn it. What the Hell was it doing on the floor? Light stood up, clutching the necklace. He immediately knew who did this. Higuchi had always been jealous, and he finally let his envy cloud his judgment. Higuchi would be his first true victim; he would be the first of a long train of dead bandits, all punished for their crimes.

Light suppressed any grief that entered his system. He didn't like Misa much anyway, but it was that damn baby. He would never even know if it was a boy or girl.

_"You're always gonna be trouble," Lawliet teased._

Cold, charcoal eyes watched Light as he jumped on his horse. The man hid in the shadows; a small grin appeared on his face.


	16. Fear Retribution

**A/N:** So you might be asking why I would have Light marry Misa only to kill her off in the next chapter. Don't stress about it, it was actually necessary haha. You'll see why in the next few chapters (not so much this one).  
Okay, so r&r and enjoy!

* * *

_Water trickled down the red rock. Light stared at his reflection in the pool at the bottom of the rock. _

_His eyes were baron. _

_Suddenly, he heard a cry. He glanced over. A baby boy sat, gazing up at him. He cooed, but when Light went to pick him up, the baby cried out again. In fact, Light sent him into a fit of hysteria. The boy fell onto his back, rolling on the floor, sobbing._

_"Shh, it's okay. Daddy's here," Light promised._

_The baby didn't stop crying. And when Light finally touched him, Light's hands ignited. The flames tickled his skin, but he knew he should put it out. He ran to the fountain and plunged his hands into the fountain. They sizzled and when Light checked them out to see the damage, they were completely fine. _

_He turned back to his son, who had finally stopped crying, only to find a pile of ash.

* * *

_Light sat up, his chest heaving. These torturous dreams of his unborn child haunted him whenever he closed his eyes. Light had been traveling for three days now to get back to Saisho. Without any company, he found it much easier to succumb to his blood lust. Any anger he had felt had been washed away the moment he turned from his burning house. If grief was present, he no longer recognized it. It was just him and his desire to cleanse the Earth.

It appalled him how pathetic he had been only a few days prior. Suffering, swimming in his misery, letting the world pass him by. Why hadn't he just run from Misa? He assumed it was because shutting down was the easiest way to deal with the pain that surged through his body; the pain that the thing had caused him. To actually take action, achieve his desires, meant facing the thing. Before, he had hid, but the thing had only won that way. Now, it was his turn.

He could see Saisho in the distance. It was pitch black, but there were lights twinkling from houses and buildings. They beckoned him, and he answered with a strangely satisfying grin. Higuchi would die tonight; Light's reign would begin. He had it all planned out. No one would ever suspect the dead woman's husband. In fact, they would probably believe he burned with her. There was nothing let of the house but ashes, after all.

As he approached the town, he tied a bandanna tightly around his face. His hat shadowed his eyes from view. Light peered through the saloon window; Higuchi was drunk, passed out on the bar. Just as expected. All he had to do was wait a few hours until they dragged Higuchi somewhere. And Light would watch where. Then, Higuchi would never awake.

About three hours later, the bartender yawned and pointed at Higuchi. A large man from the backroom walked out and tossed Higuchi onto the porch. He slammed the door and locked the saloon up for the night. It was too perfect. The unrecognizable Light snickered and snuck towards Higuchi. He tied Higuchi's hands together and began to tie a noose around his neck. He tightened the rope, choking the drunkard.

Higuichi's eyes snapped open. "Heh-gah-chut," he choked, swinging his meaty fist at Light.

Light dodged his fists and shoved his hand on Higuchi's lips. He gagged, trying to grip at the rope. Light only pulled tighter. Watching the light die from Higuchi's eyes threw Light into an ecstasy which made his body quiver from his toes to his head. He felt sick and weightless all at once. Higuchi gurgled one last time and that was it. Light didn't close Higuchi's eyes. Instead, he widened them. They were fascinating when void of life. Just a shell. An empty shell. A sick pleasure twisted inside of Light. Laughter bubbled in his chest.

"This is for my kid," he muttered as a smile danced across his lips. "And for Misa. You've deserved this the moment you were born."

Higuchi didn't reply; just lay stiff. The rest was easy. He yanked Higuchi up and hanged him on the porch. Higuchi swayed softly in the breeze. Light smirked until he realized no one would know who did this. If there was no signature, no indication of his presence, his mission would never be successful. Criminals would continue to sin without blinking. Of course, he couldn't just write, "Light Yagami did this." He grabbed a knife from his pocket and began to carve in the wood under Higuchi's dangling feet.

_Fear retribution.  
You shall be judged._

Satisfied, Light admired his work one last time. Higuchi's eyes had drooped closed. He frowned, wishing they would remain open, but gravity was one force he couldn't fight. He decided the sight would reflect his message to the point where it would haunt people's dreams. And that was all he wanted. He checked to make sure his bandanna was still tightly wrapped around his mouth. In case someone had seen, he would still be unidentifiable. He pulled his horses reigns and, just as he was about to jump on, he heard someone scream behind him.

He glanced back. A woman and man gawked at the sight. The woman was screaming, clinging to the man. It was time to go. He swung himself over his horse, but it was too late. He heard a gunshot.

He took off as another fired.

And another.

The man woke the town up. The windows suddenly illuminated as people peered down to see what was going on. One more gunshot. It hit Light, piercing through his hip. He grunted, pressing his fingers against the bleeding wound. Blood trickled between his fingers. There was nothing he could do except continue to run. He gripped at his side, putting pressure so the bleeding would cease.

When he finally escaped the town, he rode out farther into the darkness. It enveloped him, hiding him from the world. He began to snicker. Suddenly, he found himself laughing hysterically. He stopped his horse and hopped down. He immediately collapsed to his knees, still clutching his wound.

Still, he cackled. Blood spat from his lips. Even if he died, he would die satisfied. But he wanted to live. For once, he found the desire to live overwhelming. The blood flow faltered. But, his mind was clouding. He struggled to stay awake, panting. He chuckled again, lying on his back. Every time his heart beat, the pain would shoot up his body.

Suddenly, a strange figure appeared in the dark. The shadow walked with it's head held high. It's hair stuck out all over the place. It's hands were shoved in it's pocket. It struck a match, revealing the man's swollen eyes and tired gaze. His pale skin glistened from the flame. His face...Light knew his face. Light's eyes widened with a mixture of admiration and horror. No, it must have been a mirage. His heart pounded faster as the man approached him.

"Law-Lawliet?" Light managed to choke out. Then, he went limp.


	17. All the Lonely People

**A/N:** I don't own the chapter title "All the Lonely People", it's a Beatles song. I figured it perfectly pertained to this chapter.  
Enjoy!

* * *

After A died, I'd grown accustomed to the isolation. He taught me to never seek comfort in another. But I couldn't stop myself when I met Lawliet. He let me do whatever I wanted, whatever I needed. He rarely looked me in the eyes. Barriers surrounded his heart and I was determined to tear them down. I had tried for years, but nothing seemed to work. Not love, affection, anger. Now I know his walls never crumbled because he didn't want to let me in. He started digging his grave the moment he left me; his mistake, not mine.

I tossed my feet up on the table, leaning back in my chair. The solitude would have comforted me before I met my Lawliet. Now it just taunts me. I scooped a spoonful of jam, bringing the tangy treat to my lips. There was a sudden knock on the door.

"Coming," I called. With one hand ready by my hostler, I opened the door. Two melancholy blue eyes met mine and immediately shifted from my gaze.

"Welcome, Mello," I grinned. "It's been a while. What happened to your face?"

"Fuck off," he growled, turning his left cheek from my sight. "I need your help."

"Well, now, you can't just curse at me then ask for a favor," I chuckled, opening the door wider. "Come in, sit down. We'll talk."

I led him to the kitchen, where he immediately slumped into a chair and stared mindlessly at the surface. I hadn't seen Mello since he was nine years old, but his face hadn't changed much besides the nasty scar. He was still moody and profane, but there was something different in his aura. I couldn't quite tell yet, but I was determined to find out.

"Want some jam?"

"You know I hate that shit. It's bad for you," he said as he pulled a chocolate bar from his breast pocket.

"Whatever you say," I chuckled.

After a few minutes of silence, he began to tell me what happened. I was immediately sucked in; the mysterious, indifferent boy reminded my of my Lawliet. Although, after my Lawliet went soft, I know he wouldn't be able to do what the mysterious boy did. At the end of the story, Mello asked me to help him find the mysterious boy.

"Why do you want to find him?"

"I'll kill'im for what he did to me."

"Alright. I love challenges. And finding this boy without knowledge of his identity will be quite challenging. But, I'm sure we can do it. Now, do you know anything about him?"

He told me about the boy's reason for appearing in their middle of nowhere town. How tragic. I found myself laughing at the boy's awful luck. Certainly this would be enjoyable. We began to plan how to figure out where and who he was. We decided to ask around, tell his story, and see if it struck anyone's memory.

Months went by with absolutely no luck. But escaping from the lonely house drove me to search across the desert. Besides, I constantly kept searching for Lawliet. The more towns we went to, the more chances I had to find him. We never slept in a bed. Mello stuck by my side, his anxiety obviously getting worse.

The reason I met Mello was because I'd kidnapped him. But, when I discovered he was thankful for it, I was intrigued. So, I taught him as A had taught me. I never touched him, not like I touched my Lawliet, but he was affectionate. He was rebellious, feisty, profane...habitually passionate. When he was angry, he was furious. And when he was happy, he was jubilant. When he met Matt, he left me and I told him I'd help him if he ever needed it.

This Mello was conspicuously different from the Mello I had known. He was quiet and filled with hate. There was a certain anger that lingered in his eyes. It wasn't the passionate kind, no...it was the vengeful type. The kind that drove men crazy. But, I let him feed his anger. It wasn't my concern. Besides, this new Mello still had hints of the old Mello I knew, like his conviction to achieve his goal.

We reached Saisho, the sun beating on the napes of our necks. I raised the brim of my hat, glancing around. The benefit of having an alias was no one knew who I was. I could walk freely through any town, introduce myself with my real name, and no one would have a clue who I was. "Beyond Birthday" didn't have a face; a known one, at least. It was my name that made everyone quiver. And Lord, how fun it was to watch them sob when I told them who I was.

Higuchi wasn't difficult to find; he was in the saloon, as always. Mello and I walked through the door and Higuchi immediately recognized me. A greedy smile flashed across his face.

"Good afternoon, Higuchi," I smirked and sat down next to him. Mello followed, silent. "I have a question."

"Anythin' fer yew," he laughed hoarsely. "First, lemme get y'all drinks."

After our glasses filled with whiskey, I began to tell him the story of the mysterious boy. When I finished, he asked me, "What kinder pay will I get?" I handed him some money and he immediately snatched it, tucking it in his pocket. "Aw'right, I know the boy. I was the one who shot at'im, y'see."

Mello immediately leaned across the table. "Who is he?"

"Well, I ain't gonna tell yew that fer free."

He grumbled as he pulled some money from his pocket.

"Boy's name's Light. Can't tell yew his last name 'cause I ain't even sure what it is. But he's married to Misa Amane. She moved somewhere only three days journey from here. Couldn't tell yew the name of the town, but I reckon yew could ask the bartender or the ol' maid upstairs. She might know. Lemme know when you find out."

"You lyin' to me?" Mello asked, his eyes suddenly dead serious. "If I find out your lyin', I'll slit your throat."

I placed my hand on Mello's shoulder. "Higuchi knows what he's talking about," I promised. "He wouldn't do anything to hurt me, right Higuchi?"

"Yer, nothin' at all," he grinned. "Yew got my word that he's married to Misa Amane."

It wasn't hard to get the information from the landlord's wife. I just told her I was Misa's brother and I was coming to visit since she wrote that she'd gotten married. She immediately told me where to find her and the name of her husband. Light Yagami-An unbelievable coincidence.

Not only was Light Yagami probably related to Soichiro Yagami, the man who hanged A, but he apparently lived in the town that Lawliet grew up in. So this Light may have been the same Light who Lawliet used to mumble about in his sleep. Jealousy pricked at my skin when I thought about my Lawliet saying another man's name in my bed. I know he wasn't conscious, but it still disgusted me. He was _mine_.

I repeated the information back to Higuchi and Mello. "I'm afraid I have to ask you one more favor, Higuchi."

"If there's pay, y'know I'm your man."

"I need you to kill Misa. But make sure Light doesn't die."

"What?" Mello hissed. "What the fuck are you talkin' bout?"

"His time will come," I promised Mello. "But, until then, we can tear his world apart."

A malevolent smile danced across Mello's lips. It was the first time I'd seen him smile since he'd appeared at my door.

That night, we slept on a bed for the first time in months. Higuchi offered his house (which, apparently, he rarely used) to us, since I promised to pay him splendidly. Mello told me he couldn't sleep, he was too antsy. He couldn't wait to watch Light bleed. His new thirst for blood reminded me of my own. I hadn't killed anyone in three months. Suddenly, I was antsy, too. We sat, facing each other, talking about anything and everything. When a brief silence occured, I found myself drifting back to memories of my Lawliet lying in bed, staring at the ceiling as he listened to me.

Mello laughed when I spoke of Lawliet. He told me he understood the emptiness. He told me about Matt, how he loved him, how he'd hit him. How Matt had begged him not to go, but he'd abandoned him anyway.

"I feel all sorts-a sorry," he mumbled. "But I can't go back to him, not yet. I think I'll keep blamin' him for my face. I know it ain't his fault, but I just can't look at him right now."

"Why?"

"Because he convinced me not to kill Light originally."

He fell silent. His loneliness became mine. I cupped his hands and kissed them softly. His fingers reeked of chocolate. When I glanced up at him, he was gazing at me longingly.


	18. Sinking

**A/N:** Sorry if no one likes this pairing. It's all experimental, though.  
**Chapter Rated M**.

* * *

The only thing that kept me from turning my head was the immaculate tension that clouded the room. When Lawliet abandoned me, the sensation of heart break introduced itself. Well, break is a bad word; I was never whole to begin with. It was a sensation of...pure obsession and need. And unable to obtain my desires tortured me, sent me into fits of hunger. Mello understood that. He, too, had his obsession: Light.

He leaned closer to me. We would never love nor care for each other, but that wasn't what we searched for that night; it was pure entertainment. To turn a blind eye toward our obsessions. We didn't want to fill any gaps nor find a solution to our problems. That's not who we were. The reason I helped Mello in the first place wasn't to help him, but to just _do_ something. Of course, I would never tell him that.

His lips brushed against mine. His tongue traced my lips. When I met his with mine, his hands stiffened on my lap. He grunted softly as my fingers danced across his chest. He then turned his face away, guilt clouded his eyes. The hesitation made no difference to me.

"Wait," he muttered.

I ran my tongue across his scar. Suddenly, he kissed me feverishly. He pushed himself on top of me, his fingers clawed at my thighs. Lawliet never asked for much. But Mello was passionate and aggressive. Maybe I read him wrong. Maybe he was searching for comfort. I would never be able to provide the affection he searched for. Everything was a game for me; I don't think he understood that. The desires I yearned to fulfill were to beat Lawliet; to make sure he would forever know challenging me was a mistake. Leaving me was the starting point. His death would be the end. After I made his life a living Hell.

Just for fun, of course.

"Wa-wait," Mello breathed, pulling his face from mine. "I can't do this."

"Why?"

"Matt."

I snickered, deciding a side challenge would be a good distraction for my torturous obsession. There was nothing wrong with forgetting about Lawliet for a few hours. I traced my fingers across his scar, giving it the attention that I knew he wanted to avoid. I peeled his shirt off, running my fingers down his burned torso. He suddenly tremebled.

"Stop," he demanded.

"Say please," I chuckled.

"Fuck off, Beyond," he smacked my hand away and jumped off of me. He snatched a bar of chocolate waiting for him on his dresser. He took a bite. "You're not fucking funny."

He glanced at me, pursing his lips. His folly was his humanity. It would make life much more trying. But, it was who Mello was. It was who Lawliet was. Meanwhile, I was indifferent towards the human race. I only abide by the rules of my own game. Do not kill unless they are about to die. That was it.

I stood up, wrapping my fingers around his thin neck. I squeezed until his fist flew against my cheek. Chuckling, I rubbed the new bruise. "You've got a good swing."

He flung his fist at me again, smacking it into my temple. I began to laugh harder. He swung his fist into my chest and then his knee into my thigh, sending me into a fit of hysteria. I howled, clutching my aching thigh. It had been so long since someone beat me. I became his punching bag. Each time he hit me, he used more force.

"Stop fuckin' laughing," he shouted.

He threw another punch at me. I immediately caught it and twisted his arm. He growled, trying to break free. I just clutched his fists tighter, digging my nails into his hand. I pressed my lips against his scar. Suddenly, he was trembling, fighting the desire to turn his head towards mine. I lingered by his cheek, waiting for him to give in. But Mello was stubborn.

Finally, his lips met mine. He shoved his tongue into my mouth, tasting every corner. His tongue dragged along my teeth. He ripped my shirt off, clutching my chest. I debated whether or not I would allow him to control me. It seemed to be what he wanted. I lay still as he explored my body with his tongue. His control was an illusion. I could shove him off whenever I wanted and feel no remorse, but at that moment, I wanted to see what he would do next.

He suddenly sank his teeth into my hip bone. I chuckled, taking a fistful of his blond hair. I yanked his face against mine, rolling my tongue behind his teeth. He grunted in protest but finally submitted. I tossed him onto his back on the bed and removed his tight pants.

"Bey-beyond," he gasped as I shoved two fingers inside of him. "Ma-Matt always took it."

So he was a virgin. I snickered, slipping another in. He moaned, clutching the bed sheets.

"Relax," I sneered, nipping at the scar racing down his chest. He yelped and I immediately pushed my hand against his mouth to silence him. "It won't hurt too bad."

I pulled my pants down, gripped his ankles and lifted them above me. I pulled my fingers from him. He bucked his hips as I approached him, trying to struggle away. I told him to stop this time. He obediently froze as I shoved myself inside him. His warm cave enveloped me. So tight, so fragile. I wanted to break him. I removed my hand from his mouth and pulled out of him slowly, only to penetrate deeper a second later.

He cried out, moaning my name. He clawed at my chest. "Beyond," he screamed as I fucked him harder.

Matt may have been loyal to Mello, but he wasn't the true man that Mello needed. Mello needed discipline and structure in his chaotic mindset. Without it, he would fall apart. I pushed farther into him, satisfied as he whimpered from the pain.

I leaned towards him, pressing my lips against his. He wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling my closer to him. I continued to beat into him, releasing every ounce of strength I had. And he took it so damn well. I built up more and more, faster, harder.

"Mello," I grunted and immediately pulled out, stopping myself from finishing. I always did, to see if I could control myself. Most of the time I could. Mello gazed up at me, horrified that I had stopped so abruptly. He sat up, facing me again.

"I want more," he moaned as he shoved his tongue into my mouth. When he receded he added, "give me more."

So I did.


	19. The Haunting

I woke up and left Mello curled up under the blankets. It's not that I cared if he came along, I just didn't care enough to wake him up and wait for him. So, I scribbled a note, promising to be back in a few days. Then, I set off to Light's town-Lawliet's home town. I knew he wouldn't be there; I had checked a few times in the past. Besides, how could the climax to such a fantastic game be us bumping into each other in his home town? No, our meeting would be extraordinary.

That night, I barely slept. Lawliet's face, his pure, sweet face, imploded my memories. A war raged on in my head. I snuffed out the fire, lying in the total darkness, trying to relax my thoughts. But, his eyes, his lips, his voice taunted me. Called me. Beyond, come get me. I squeezed my eyes shut.

_I pulled a jar of jam from the pantry and sat on the side of the table opposite from Lawliet. My new house guest hadn't spoken in a few days, probably recuperating from whatever had happened to him.  
"Would you like some?" I offered the jam to Lawliet. He shook his head.  
I sighed and stood up, heading to the bathroom. When I came back, I found Lawliet digging through my pantry.  
"What are you looking for?" I chuckled.  
"Something sugary."_

I rubbed my temples, trying hard to force any memories from continuing to invade my brain. Finally, I drifted to sleep.

_As Lawliet gazed in awe down at the body by his feet, I congratulated myself for corrupting the boy. It was quite easy to mold him; quite easy to convince him he was someone he wasn't. Lawliet's willpower had evaporated a long time ago, and I was there to pick up the pieces.  
"See it wasn't too bad," I snickered.  
"I suppose not," Lawliet answered, his voice cool.  
I grabbed the boy's blood stained hands and kissed him softly. Lawliet didn't flinch and after a few seconds, he began to kiss me back._

The sun woke me up. Only two more days and I would finally be able to lay my eyes on Light Yagami. I kidded myself, deciding that Lawliet probably held some grudge against him and Light Yagami was no threat. I tried to distract myself, wondering what Mello was up to. Somehow I couldn't keep focused on his fragile body. Lawliet's large eyes always intruded my thoughts. I told myself over and over it was just a game.

_Short and sweet.  
I always took my time when I would void a body of life. But, tonight was different. The woman gagged and collapsed to the floor. Nearly perfect timing; her clock read 10 seconds.  
I smiled to himself, wondering what Lawliet would say. I could hardly wait to get back to the boy, who I knew was waiting on my bed._

Three long days through the perilous desert. I was exhausted by the time I reached the town. It was pitch black. Higuchi had told me he'd be waiting for me somewhere in the town, but he never said where. I pulled in front of saloon and tied my horse's reigns. He was no where to be found. I searched the saloon (twice) and checked the two hotels in the town, keeping my eye out for Light Yagami. But, according to the townsfolk, Higuchi didn't exist. And Light was no where to be found.

Suddenly it hit me. His lust for Misa-he would be near her. I began to explore the houses, searching for Higuchi's horse hidden in the shadows. Finally, at a rickety, tiny house I spotted Higuchi's horse gnawing at the leaves in the trees. I peered through the window, only to find a young girl, no older than 20, tied to a chair. Her stomach was bulging with child. Higuchi sat in the chair next to her, yelling about something. He really knew how to make a fool out of himself.

I casually walked through the front door and walked to the dining area. Higuchi jumped up, his gun aimed right at my face. "Oh, Beyon', don go scarin' me like that. I almost blew yer face off."

"Please help me!" Misa cried out. Misa Amane-seven minutes and twenty-seven seconds. How convenient. "Li-Light's somewhere, I dunno where, but please, sir! Don't kill me! I'm pregnant, please! Don't kill my baby." She whimpered and hung her head, sobbing softly. Poor, pitiful Misa. Little did she know that even if we hadn't have shown up, her baby still wouldn't have been born.

"I told yew, Beyon'. I'm good at what I do," he grinned maliciously as he pressed his gun's barrel against Misa's cheek. She moaned, continuing to beg. "When I get done with her, I'd say he'll be perty torn apart by tomorrow."

"Don't kill her," I said. "Let me."

Higuchi threw me a puzzled glance. It was rare I dirtied my hands in front of others, but Higuchi knew who I was. And it was so unbelievably close to her time. It was destiny.

"Aw'right boss," he grinned. "Whatever yew say."

_Moonlight poured through the curtain. I had woken from a dream and was watching Lawliet, but couldn't bring myself to say anything. The boy was gazing longingly out the window.  
It was always bad when I caught Lawliet pondering.  
"L?" I finally purred, tracing the scratches gouged in Lawliet's back. "Come to bed."  
"I'm not tired."_

Five minutes. My fingers tingled with anticipation. It'd been about three months since I've killed; three long months that I had to suppress the dark desires that creeped in my stomach. They were not as loud or vicious as my obsession for Lawliet, but they were constantly there, reminding me of who I was.

"Do you know who I am?" I asked Misa, leaning close.

"N-no," she whimpered. "But I'm sure you're a real nice feller."

I grinned coolly, taking a knife from my holster. I dragged the blade across her cheek, admiring the crimson drops falling down her porcelain skin. "My name's Beyond Birthday."

She gulped, her eyes enlarging. The name that struck fear. I would always be branded by the terror I caused others. And God, it was fantastic. "Pl-please, mister Beyond Birthday. Please don't kill me."

"It's too late. You know my identity," I grinned, carving lines down her pretty face. She screamed, calling for Light. I slashed her lips and she immediately shut up. The silence sounded so pleasant. I took a deep breath. Two minutes left. I clutched the butt of the knife and flung the blade down into her arm. I yanked it out and slammed it into the other arm. She cried out, begging to just kill her.

"As you wish," I snickered, licking the blood off the tip of my blade.

Thirty seconds. I couldn't wait that long; the anticipation yanked at my throat. I plunged the knife into her heart and she whimpered one last time. Her head hung and finally, there was complete silence. I turned back to Higuchi, my heart raced from the adrenaline. Murder was better than sex. Well, it wasn't exactly murder, since she was going to die in thirty seconds anyway. It was...speeding up the process.

Higuchi clutched something in his hand and turned from Misa's lifeless body. "Let's get outta here," he grumbled.

_His breathing steadied. Finally, he had fallen asleep. I turned onto my back, panting. Recently, I had to pound exhaustion into him until he cold barely keep his eyes open. Sleeping was becoming his nemesis.  
"Light," he suddenly whimpered.  
I gazed at him, my stomach tying into knots. Light. I would kill him someday._

"Let's give him a break," I said, resting the tip of my knife on my index finger. "Instead of him having to walk in to find this horrific scene, let's just take a match and burn her."

The truth was, I wanted to destroy any evidence Higuchi might have left behind. I was always careful, but I couldn't say the same about Higuchi. In fact, he was a huge oaf who could barely comprehend how to work a gun properly. A fire would cleanse the house and also allow me to watch Light from afar. I'd be able to decipher how broken he was; a trophy for my work. After I burned his wife, child and house down, I would go for his parents, siblings, anyone next. Higuchi barely gave notice he was leaving.

After washing the floors with alcohol, I tossed a match and walked out the door. The house behind me ignited. There was a tree a few yards away that was a perfect place to sit and enjoy. I leaned against the trunk, blending into the night. It didn't take long before I saw a figure running towards the house. As he got close to the inferno, the flames illuminated his face. Light Yagami: thirty-two years, fourty days, seven hours and two seconds. He had an impressive air about him. Even as he watched his family burn, his face remained stoic. But what did he have that drew my Lawliet to him? Why did he haunt Lawliet's dreams?

I pouted. I couldn't kill him, unless I waited thirty-two years. But, I'm sure Mello would be thrilled to take his life. The house crackled and the roof collapsed. Light suddely fell to his knees, his fingers trembled as they ran through his hair. His face remained stoic, though. Suddenly, he picked something up. Hatred flashed across his eyes. He dangled a necklace as he mounted his horse and took off. The necklace...had that been what Higuchi was holding?

Somehow, the idiot still messed up. I snickered; this would be quite interesting.

_Lawliet's focus waned from me recently. I couldn't help but feel neglected. I yearned for the boy's body, but every time I would try to touch Lawliet, he would recoil.  
Tonight, I decided, I would get what I wanted. No matter what it took.  
"Get off, Beyond," Lawliet snapped.  
I sunk my teeth into the boy's shoulder. Lawliet cried out.  
"No," I grinned._


	20. The Manipulator

Light headed to Saisho to seek out Higuchi. I passed him the first night. Of course, he never saw me, but I could see the light from his camp fire a mile away. It was easy to avoid him in the dark. I rarely slept during the three day journey, which became about two days. When I reached Saisho, I kept myself hidden from sight to keep Higuchi's suspicions under wraps; I wanted to see what Light would do to him.

I caught sight of Higuchi drinking in the saloon, so I decided to pay Mello a visit. "Where the fuck have you been?" Mello growled when I walked into Higuchi's house. Good dog-he stayed, just as master commanded.

"Watching Light. He should be in town later tonight. I think he might kill Higuchi."

"How could you just leave me here? It was my plan in the first place."

"No," I corrected him. "You're plan was to kill him."

Mello huffed, but immediately ceased arguing. I told him what had happened the past few days, which he listened to intently. The lustful aching for blood seeped into his blue eyes. I casually pressed my lips against his forehead and said we had to go to town and wait for Light.

He came in the dark. A figure lurking the shadows, hidden from the night air. How funny-Melllo and I were watching him watch Higuchi. Every so often, he would peer into the window and immediately retract. I could barely make out his expressions in the dark, but I'm sure waiting for the perfect opportunity tormented him. Just as it did Mello. His fingers twisted as he watched Light. I know what he wanted, but he would have to wait. Just as Light waited.

After a few hours, a few men tossed Higuchi from the saloon. He lay limply on the porch, drool hanging from his lips. Expendable Higuchi. It wasn't hard to find an idiot henchmen like him. Besides, Mello made a fine pet. I rubbed the back of Mello's neck. He stiffened, suddenly resistant to my touch.

Light slipped his rope around Higuchi's neck. Higuchi was choking-dying. So fast. So easy. Light strung him up, displaying him on the porch for all to see. That bandanna concealed the sick grin I knew perched across his face. Well, not sick. The understandable grin. He took his knife from his holster and began to carve something in the wood under Higuchi's feet. After a few minutes, he took a step back and admired his work. I wondered if he'd done this before. Higuchi swayed in the breeze, sending off a message to anyone who had the pleasure of seeing him; Fear Light Yagami.

I wondered if I would like Light.

Suddenly, a woman screamed. The man next to her yanked his revolver from his holster. Light was already climbing on his horse. The man shot several times. Light was hit. He slumped over his horse. Oh what beautiful chaos! Everyone ran outside, hollering as Light disappeared into the night.

"Let's go," I beckoned Mello, grabbing my own horse's reigns. We ran after Light. Whispers chased us. 'Who are they?' I snickered as I caught sight of the words carved under Higuchi's feet. Fear retribution. The words echoed through my head as we continued to chase after Light. I wouldn't kill him when I reached him, not yet.

Laughter rang out in the distance. I guided my horse towards the direction of his voice. Under the full moon, I could make out the outline of Light on his hands and knees. I struck a match to get a better view. He gazed up at me; his eyes beaten and weathered.

"Law-Lawliet?" he grunted and blacked out.

He confused me with my Lawliet, confirming my original suspicions. Lawliet was practically my replica. He knew my Lawliet. They probably knew each other as children. But why had a strange satisfaction, a softening glisten, penetrated his gaze? Did he wish to see Lawliet again? Was he the reason my Lawliet left me? My fingers tightened into a ball. If it was his fault, I would use him as a pawn and crush him in the end.

"Is he dead?" Mello asked as he jumped off his horse. He knelt next to Light and checked his pulse. Frowning, he stood up. "I'll just shoot the bastard."

"Wait," I instructed. "I think we can use him."

"What the fuck would we use him for? He's the only reason I came to you in the first place."

I grinned at him. "What are you going to do, run back home to Matt? After eight months? You don't really have anywhere else to go."

Anger flushed across his cheeks and he shamefully locked his eyes on the floor. "I'm not going to let you manipulate me," he hissed. "I don't owe you shit."

"You don't? Because I didn't find Light for you, I didn't stick by you all this time?" I nearly cackled. I didn't care whether he left or not, but it was so fun watching his face contort as I clawed at his heart. "Come on, Mello, don't give up on us so eagerly."

He growled and recoiled as I moved to touch him. He retreated to his horse and jumped on it. "Fine. We'll bring'im back to the house and figure out what to do with'im from there. I can give that bastard what he deserves, after what he did to me. After what he did to Higuchi." I rolled my eyes and scooped Light's limp body. I tossed him on the back of my horse and we took off, riding back to my place.

When we reached my house, I immediately dosed Light with a ton of morphine and began to stitch his hips. The bullet had passed right through him, so thankfully I didn't need to retract it from his skin. It would've been too tedious of a task. All the time, I thought of how I could use him. Earn his trust. Side with him. Let him lead me straight to Lawliet. If they were so close, Lawliet must have attempted to contact him.

One night, he had a fever. Infection. I gave him more morphine and dumped alcohol on his wounds. His eyes flickered open.

"Lawliet?" he gurgled.

"Yes?" I answered in my best Lawliet impression, avoiding eye contact. Before, the confusion was understandable since it was quite dark. But the room was well lit. Apparently the mixture of the morphine and the fever was continuing to play tricks on his mind.

He lolled his head, trying to lift his arm. It raised a few inches and collapsed back on the bed. "Where have you been, Lawli? It's been so long. Have you been thinkin' 'bout me too?"

"Always."

"I just feel so damn good right now. And I keep havin' dreams 'bout you. I looked for you, or tried to. God, Lawli, I have so much to tell you. There's this fountain, Lawliet. It's a'waitin' for us. And it won't shut it's damn mouth," he rambled. "I'm glad you found me. I thought I was dead."

"When was the last time I saw you?"

"Three years, I think."

I decided maybe he wouldn't be useful. But the fact that Lawliet called for Light in his sleep prodded in the back of my mind. Something happened between the two of them, something that I had to figure out. Could it be possible they were just friends? I began to ask Light questions about "us". They were best friends, but from how Light expressed it, he was in denial that he was in love with his best friend. And, as the story continued, I got the inkling that Lawliet loved him, too. At least more than he loved me. My eyebrows furrowed.

I could use Light while I slowly shifted him into a monster; A Lord of chaos. At this point, Lawliet was the only thing trapping any humanity left in Light. But, once I tore through that wall, he would be dead inside. He would kill whoever he wanted, whoever I wanted, without a second glance. Together, we would reign. And when I finally found my Lawliet, it would break him. He would see the results of the snuffed out Light. And he would cry. And I would win.

"I can't believe your fuckin' takin' care of him," Mello snapped, appearing in the doorway.

"I have my own agenda, Mello," I purred his name. "Trust me. You'll be happy you didn't kill him once he wakes up."

He scoffed. After the night I fucked him, he'd barely had the strength to fight back. It had been difficult before that; I think he was afraid of me. I couldn't blame him. Even those who didn't fear death still trembled from the mention of my name.

I purposely stared at his scar. Suddenly, he became very conscious of the deformity and habitually shielded it with his hand. I bet Matt never made him uncomfortable. I bet Matt followed him around, his tongue lolling from his mouth. It was a treat to watch Mello become the dog, obediently listening and taking orders. It was a simple victory, but his uncomfortable presence made it worth while. He shifted his weight as he watched me.

"I want him dead one day. An' I wanna be the one that kills'im."

"One day," I promised him. "Just be patient."

* * *

**A/N:** That was probably the last of Beyond's P.O.V. for the rest of the story. I know this was a bit of a slow chapter, but the next chapter will pick up. And, just to get you hyped, Matt will be coming back in the next chapter!


	21. Kira's Welcome Party

After Light had finally regained his sanity, he panicked from the strange room. He swore to kill Beyond until Beyond explained everything, cooling him off. The two became close over the next few weeks as Beyond continuously took care of him. Light resisted trusting Beyond, especially since Mello would appear every so often. The first time Light saw Mello, he commented on his impressive burn. Mello tackled Light, ripping his new stitches opening and throwing his healing process back a few weeks.

Beyond explained Mello wasn't going to hurt him and, in fact, he was trying to form a gang of vigilantes. Light's ears immediately perked up. The idea wasn't half bad. With Beyond on his side, crime would become less tempting. He still doubted Beyond, especially since he'd known Higuchi. After a few weeks, Light expressed his concern. Beyond laughed, promising Higuchi was just a tool he used.

Mello didn't seem to enjoy the idea of a vigilante gang, but oddly he blindly followed Beyond. Light began to wonder where Matt was, but he never mentioned it, especially since Mello rarely spoke to him. Mello obviously wanted him dead, but Beyond became a sort of meat shield and Mello couldn't bring himself to pull the trigger.

"How are you feeling?" Beyond asked as Light walked into the kitchen.

"Much better," he stretched his arms over his head. His shirt danced up his torso, revealing the well-healed scar. "I wanna start tomorrow."

Beyond cocked his head, his black eyes shimmering. "You want to? Now Light, who would we _judge_?"

"Mello's group."

"Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?" Mello jumped from his chair. Beyond shot him a look, immediately shutting him up. He slumped back into his chair. "Fine, I don't care too much 'bout them anyway. They're all expendable. Just-spare Matt."

"Of course," Light sat down in the chair, his torso erect. His presence was overwhelming; looking upon him made the others seem so small. "After all, he did save my life."

"Fucker," Mello muttered under his breath.

They began their journey the next morning. Light barely spoke, only to discuss the plan. Dynamite strapped to their horse's saddles. Guns and bullets hung at their waist. The sun peered over the horizon, greeting the new day. It's orange beams beat down on their noses and the backs of their necks. It raised and they continued to cross the desert, barely speaking a word to each other. Light had one thing on his mind; revenge. Revenge for all the innocent that the bandits had harmed. Redemption for their families, for himself. That thing was dead, but it's friends still slithered across the Earth.

The sun set on the fourth day and, finally, Light recognized the ghost town in the distance. He heard Mello whimper next to him, but he barely noticed. His desires bubbled under his skin. He wanted to feel what he did the night he strangled Higuchi. The beautiful display of judgment. And these men would be next.

"Fear redemption," Beyond suddenly snickered. Light eyed him, but kept his lips pursed. There was something off about Beyond, Light couldn't put his finger on it. He would just have to continue to stay alert.

They approached the saloon just as the sun disappeared. They hid their horses from sight and the three snuck around to the side of the saloon. Mello peered into the window, his eyes scanning the room.

"Fuck, Matt ain't in there," he growled. "I gotta go find him. You two stay here. If you hear any shots, just light the dynamite."

He didn't wait for a response and burst through the saloon doors. The chaotic room suddenly fell silent. The hinges from the doors creaked as they swung back and fourth. Mello grinned. "Missed me?"

"Sure did," someone snickered from the back of the room.

Not much had changed since Mello left, except the place was a mess. There was trash all over the floor and Mello could feel something sticky yanking at his boots. Matt wasn't in the room. The silence was uncomfortable. Mello figured they wouldn't want to listen to him anymore, but if Matt was in the building, he had to find him. And if not, he'd just run like Hell. Their disgusting smiles shot shivers down his spine. But his face remained stoic as he crossed the room and headed towards his old room.

This wasn't what Light originally planned. He had a whole list of ideas and thinking about his face boiling from the disrespect made Mello giddy. Just because they were partners, didn't mean Mello had to listen to him. He opened his door. A putrid smell of sweat, blood and garbage pierced his nose. He clutched his nose as he peered into the room.

"Matt?" he called.

Something shifted in the corner. He opened the door wider, the light from the outside seeped across the room. Matt was chained to the wall. He batted his lids, trying desperately to keep his eyes open in the blinding light. Yellow bruises and scars covered his face and bare torso. His face barely flinched as they locked eyes. Mello's stomach dropped.

"Oh shit, Matt," he ran to him, yanking at his chains. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. I didn't think they'd do this to you. Fuck, I kinda thought-fuck I don't know what I thought. Are you okay? Matt?"

Matt whimpered, resting his head against the wall. "You wouldn't believe how mad I am at you," he chuckled softly, his voice disgustingly fragile. "But if you get me outta here, I'll think 'bout forgivin' you."

"This isn't a joke," Mello snapped. Too late. Matt's devious smile was plastered to his face. Mello pulled a lock pick from his holster and began to undo the chain.

"They're gonna kill us," Matt murmured. "The only reason they kept me alive was to use me as a punching bag. But, Hell, at least I get to see you one last time. No matter how much I hate your guts." He let out a soft, 'hah', and suddenly lunged forward, coughing. Mello pressed his hand against Matt's forehead; it was burning hot. He immediately grabbed Matt's cheeks and kissed the boy passionately.

"You're gonna be okay," Mello promised when he broke the kiss.

"Aw'right, you two," a gruff voice suddenly called from the door. "Yer gettin' disgustin'. Nasty homo-sectuals. I can't wait to shoot your brains scrambled."

"That doesn't even make sense," Mello snapped, whipping his gun from his holster and shooting the man down before he could utter another word. After struggling with the lock pick for a few more seconds, the chains fell from Matt's wrist. The sound of heavy feet stomped toward them. Many feet. "Christ, I was surrounded by idiots. Let's get the fuck outta here, Matt."

Suddenly, six gun shots rang from the front of the saloon. "A distraction?" Matt asked, swinging his arm around Mello's shoulder.

"I guess so," Mello sighed, wondering which idiot had run into the saloon. Probably Beyond. He enjoyed danger's thrill a bit too much.

"BEYOND!" Light shouted as Beyond ran straight into the saloon, emptying his chamber on any awaiting victims.

Six people fell dead and before anyone could react, he ducked behind the bar and tackled the bar tender, sinking his teeth into his new victim's throat. The barkeep choked, blood spewed from his neck. Beyond picked up his gun and reloaded, beckoning Light, who was watching from the window, to come inside. His eyes glistened with malice. Light sighed, debating whether or not to recklessly run into the saloon while the group of men shot at Beyond.

Bullets flew past Light's head as he burst through the door and ducked behind the bar. Beyond was waiting patiently, blood dripping from his lips.

"What are you doing?" he shouted over the explosions ringing from the guns. "Are you an idiot?"

"It's all part of my plan," Beyond tapped his head and suddenly, he jumped up, emptying his chamber in an abnormally fast pace.

"But not the one we originally discussed," Light said as Beyond collapsed back behind the bar's protection. He just continued to grin, excitement trembling through his fingers.

Suddenly, someone tried to leap over the bar, but Light's bullet sailed through the man's face. The man died before he reached the ground. Blood showered the two. Light gagged, covering his nose from the disgusting stench. Beyond started to cackle, wiping the blood from his eyes. Bullets whizzed above their heads and smacked into the bar's barrier.

"This is such a mess," Light growled. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Because I could," Beyond laughed harder.

"You realize you trapped us behind a bar, and now we're gonna die back here?"

Beyond grabbed a jug of moonshine from behind him and tore off a piece of his shirt. "Want to see something beautiful?"

He soaked the cloth in the moonshine and left a tail sticking from the mouth of the jug. He lit the cloth and tossed the jug over the bar. Suddenly, an explosion ignited in the room. Gun's stop exploding. Men were shouting, some let out horrified screams. Beyond peeked around the corner of the bar, shooting at random.

Light jumped up, clutching his gun tightly. He cocked it and pulled the trigger, hitting a man in front of him right in the heart. The man collapsed to the floor. The place was ablaze. Light continued to shoot at the miscellaneous men running frantically around the room. It was like watching a flock of pigeons trying to break free from a cage. Light aimed steadily, shooting each target dead. He fed the desires that ached his heart with each man he killed. So far, he'd killed seven.

He sunk back behind the bar, reloading his gun. "That cocktail really wiped them out, huh?" Beyond applauded his quick thinking.

More guns fired. Heavy boots stomped across the floor, heading towards the bar. This was what Light dreaded. There was silence, suddenly. He closed his eyes, listening intently for movement. Suddenly, gun shots fired from the back of the room.

"Hey, fuckers," Mello shouted. "You forgot about me."

More explosions. Light couldn't stand huddling behind the bar anymore. He climbed up, perching himself above the men surrounding the room. With a few quick shots, some fell over. He jumped down, kicking one close by in the gut. He flew backwards, only to meet Mello's bullet. Blood exploded throughout the room. Light was drenched. Beyond was suddenly next to him. Before he knew it, everyone was dead.

Smoke clouded the room. Light covered his mouth and ran outside, his chest heaved as he absorbed the fresh air. Beyond came out shortly after, stretching his hands above his head. Mello and Matt shortly followed. Matt was beaten badly, but there was a smile plastered on his face.

"Well, that was easy," Beyond said.

"What's wrong with you!" Light shouted. "You almost got us killed."

"Almost," Beyond pointed out. "I couldn't help myself. They were all almost expired."

"What are you talkin' 'bout?" So, Beyond told him. Light gaped at him, unsure how to take the strange, supernatural claim. It was impossible, wasn't it? It only made sense if fate controlled their destiny's, which Light had learned a long time ago wasn't true. Only he could control his destiny.

_"Do you believe in God's existence?"_

Suddenly, the building exploded, flinging debris at the group. The air suddenly reeked of gasoline.

"Well, that was what would've killed them," Beyond snickered. "This is about the time they all were supposed to die. How absolutely coincidental!"

"Aw'right, let's go before anyone notices," Mello muttered, helping the struggling Matt onto the horse.

Light stepped toward the flaming saloon. He needed to leave another message, another reminder. He grabbed his knife and grabbed a plank of wood lying on the floor.

_Fear retribution._

"Oh come now, you can't just repeat the same thing," Beyond said. "It'll get boring...I know!"

He snatched the piece of wood and the knife and underneath Light's carving, he wrote: _Yours truly, Kira_

"Kira?"

Beyond grinned. "You want to reign in terror, right? Well, you can't do it too well without an alias. And I've never heard of a bandit named, 'Kira'. It's simple, yet memorable."

Adrenaline pumped through Light's veins. Kira might just work.

A month after, the name "Kira" ran across everyone's tongues. Some whispered that he was working closely with Beyond Birthday, others believed he was an angry ghost, come back to kill everyone who caused it harm. Even just walking through a town, Light heard several different versions of who Kira was. Little did they know that he walked amongst them, watching them closely, waiting for one of them to fall out of line.

* * *

There was a knock at the door.

"Yes?"

An elderly gentleman walked through the door, carrying a cup of tea. "Did you decide what you're going to do about Kira?"

"Yes. I decided the moment I read about him," the detective crouched over piles of papers said as he dropped cubes of sugar into his tea. "I will give him a taste of his own medicine."

* * *

**A/N:** I thought the last part was a nice, short touch.  
Reviews would be much appreciated!


	22. Oh, the drama!

**A/N:** Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. The title comes from a review from The Color Clear (I thought it fit perfectly). Thanks again for all your support! :]  
It's a MattxMello centered chapter and not a pleasant one (surprised?). But enjoy!  
**Chapter Rated M**.

* * *

Mello awoke with a start. His lover's sweaty body trembled against his own; whimpers escaped the boy's lips. Mello immediately cradled Matt's quivering figure and caressed his sticky neck. With a gasp, Matt's eyes snapped open. Every night, he endured torturous nightmares about his inescapable prison. And every night, Mello would rescue him again by bringing him back to reality. Matt shoved his lips against Mello's, ignoring his shaking fingers. He'd grown used to the uncontrollable tremors that surged through his body at random.

"Matt," Mello muttered, nipping his bottom lip. "You aw'right?"

"You don't gotta ask me that every night," Matt chuckled.

He caressed Mello's fantastic scar, immediately causing Mello to recoil. Mello's reaction to his scars attention varied exceedingly. Sometimes, he shoved his mouth against Matt's, leading them into a frenzy of hot, sweaty love. Other times, he would bat Matt's hand away and immediately grow frustrated. The worst, though, was when he recoiled; it reminded Matt how that one scar tore at Mello's pride and hindered their relationship. Even after the turmoil Matt suffered, Mello still selfishly obsessed over his own appearance. But...that was Mello, and Matt loved him.

Mello's lips lingered next to Matt's. His hot breath tickled Matt's upper lip. Their desires for one another became apparent, as they did most nights. Suddenly, Mello tugged at Matt's shirt, pulling it from his body. His teeth nipped at Matt's flesh and dragged down his torso. Apparently, Mello wanted pure passion and physical lust tonight. Matt was happy to oblige. The two tangled together, their fingers intertwined. Mello's tongue ran across Matt's pants line, causing the boy to shudder in anticipation.

As he began to yank Matt's pants off with his teeth, Matt panted heavily. Mello's eyes gleamed with desire. His lips cupped Matt's head; his tongue flicked across the tip. Matt moaned, clutching a chunk of Mello's hair. His entire body tensed; the pleasure was almost unbearable. Normally, Mello teased him, but not tonight. Something was on Mello's mind, and Matt couldn't wait to discover what.

Suddenly, Mello glanced up at Matt. He stood up, leaving his lover panting, sweating, naked. With one swift motion, he pulled off his own shirt and grabbed Matt's hand. He pulled his lover up and led him to the vanity near by. Then, he did the oddest thing. Mello bent over the surface, wrapping Matt's arms around his waist. Matt's bare torso brushed against Mello's back. Mello was _presenting_ himself to Matt, waiting for him. Matt hesitated, unsure how to approach the situation.

"This one time," Mello purred, although he sounded like he was begging.

It was too strange. Something was wrong. Matt took a step back, puzzled. "Mello," he murmured. "Why?"

"I want to try it," Mello promised.

He was lying, Matt sensed it. Mello didn't want to try it. In fact, Mello's expression read that he didn't need to try it, he just wanted it desperately. How could he want something so terribly if he never experimented before? Matt shrugged, suddenly overcome with desire. Without another word, he shoved his body against Mello and thrust into his lover. Mello grunted and as Matt's hips rhythmically moved, Mello's fingernails dug into the wooden vanity. The position switch was strange, at first, but Matt immediately got into it. Watching Mello's face squirm from pleasure in the mirror only made him pound harder.

"Ugh," Mello grunted. "Harder, c'mon."

Matt obeyed.

"Harder!"

Harder. Faster. Sweat poured down Matt's forehead. Mello's hot breath fogged the glass in front of him as he squeezed his eyes shut, panting.

"Oh, fuck, Beyond!" Mello groaned.

He immediately stumbled backwards, shocked by the words that came from his lovers mouth. For a moment, confusion and terror struck at his already fragile mind. But, when reality set in, Matt felt his heart breaking apart. Mello through his hands over his mouth, turning to face Matt. Horror loomed in his expression.

"Ma-Matt, I didn't mean that."

Matt stood up. The tremors violently tugged at his body. Everything crashed around him. His ears rang. His eyes stung. His legs were numb.

"Beyond?" Matt repeated.

"Matt," Mello whispered, attempting to comfort his lover. He reached out, brushing his fingers against Matt's. Before Matt could stop himself, he retracted his body from Mello's reach, pulled on his pants and fled the room. Mello collapsed on the floor, running his fingers anxiously through his hair. What had he done?

* * *

The next evening, the four feared outlaws sat around the table, eating their dinner in complete silence. Normally, they ate separately. In fact, they saw little of each other. Beyond's house was large enough so they could conceal themselves and avoid any contact if undesired. Tonight, however, they would begin their journey up north to take down the Yotsuba group. Higuchi had once been part of the gang, but he was exiled when his drinking habits defected him. For the past month, Light focused his constant attention on the Yotsuba group. There were only seven of them, but their chaotic behavior exceeded beyond many other gangs.

It would be difficult, but Light was up for the challenge. Anything to avoid another easy judgment of bandits around the area. They always left so much evidence behind and Light began to grow weary from boredom.

As Beyond spread jam across his meat, Matt suddenly blurted, "that's disgustin'." Beyond merely raised his gaze for a moment, then turned his attention back to his task. Suddenly, Mello flushed and found something interesting on his fingernail.

Matt narrowed his eyes, shifting his gaze to Mello. Before Matt arrived, the tension was awful, since Mello was constantly at Light's throat and Light barely regarded Mello as his partner. But when Matt came, Mello's attention turned to his lover and he and Light rarely fought anymore. The trauma Matt endured seemed to bring the two closer than Light previously observed, but he couldn't help but noticing the awkward tension that radiated from them tonight. It echoed across the room. Beyond, somehow, seemed to be involved. Matt kept glowering at him as if he were to kill him if Beyond made a wrong move. Light figured it was because of the strings running from Beyond's fingers to Mello's body. Maybe Matt just noticed.

"Relax," Mello suddenly said. Matt only scoffed.

Beyond suddenly chuckled. "Now, Mello."

Mello's lips pursed and he slumped farther into his chair. The sudden silence hung heavily around the four. Light decided he wanted nothing more to do with the strange tension. The drama between the three had nothing to do with him. These moments always occurred when the four united, except when they were performing their mission. Even then, Light rarely had anything to do with them. Beyond's connections and their teamwork was the only reason Light didn't kill them. Mello and Beyond both deserved to die; Light had decided that a long time ago. But, he needed them for the broader purpose.

Light stood up and carried his dish to the wash bin. He dropped it in the water and headed to his room.

"I think Light's got the right idea," Matt muttered, void of his normal joking manner. "I'm gonna go upstairs."

"Wait," Mello demanded, pulling out his desert chocolate from his breast pocket.

Even through his rage, Matt obeyed his lover. He couldn't help himself. He decided to give Mello the benefit of the doubt; sometimes people slip. Matt grabbed a cigarette from behind his ear. He lit it and the two sat in silence, indulging in their addictions. The smoke from Matt's cigarette clouded up his goggles, creating a foggy, surreal scene in front of him. Beyond spread jam on his hunk of meat and glanced up, his gaze suddenly connecting with Mello's. Mello's cheeks flushed and he immediately broke the contact.

Mello's subordination troubled Matt. Normally, Mello's inferiority complex made it so he took no one's shit. Yet, his superiority quivered in Beyond's presence. That and last night's incident fed Matt's suspicions. He decided instead of allowing his loyalty to continue to falter under possibly false suspicions, he would ask Mello. Although the fear of discovering that his suspicions were true seeped in. If Mello and Beyond...Matt's head suddenly spun.

"Mello, did you and Beyond have sex?"

Matt decided to bring it up in front of Beyond so he could read both their expressions. He knew that Beyond wouldn't be much help, but his presence would add a certain advantage for Matt. No matter how disgusting Beyond was, he had no reason to lie.

Mello's eyes widened and, when he realized his expression, he relaxed. "No," he promised.

"Beyond, did you and Mello have sex?" Matt turned to Beyond, keeping an eye on Matt's expression. Obviously the question directed towards Beyond frightened Mello. He knew Beyond had nothing to lie, just as Matt knew.

"Yes," Beyond answered simply, stuffing a piece of meat into his mouth. "Why?"

Mello shot out of his seat, picked up his plate and threw it against the wall. With that, he left the room. Matt and Beyond sat in silence; Beyond chomped on the meat. His suspicions were confirmed. He sank into his chair, then stood up. He was sick of Mello walking on him. He stormed up the stairs, courage and anger building up in his chest. His body trembled.

Before Matt even stepped into the room, Mello was already throwing excuses around.

"Stop," Matt demanded. "I'm sick of you."

Matt's normally passive nature dissolved as the overwhelming urge to punch Mello in the jaw pounded at his core. Normally, his testosterone never bothered him. Normally, he controlled himself. Even after being beaten every day for eight months, he managed to grip onto who he was. Suddenly, before he could stop himself, his knuckles collided with Mello's chin. The boy fell into a pathetic heap on the floor. His power dissolved away. He was nothing more than a crumpled mass of skin to Matt. He couldn't love someone so pathetic.

"I'm goin' to leave you," Matt spoke, trying desperately to soothe the agonizing pain in his chest. "Just as you left me. But, I ain't gonna come back for you."

Mello tried to protest, as Matt began to leave. Suddenly, every piece of anger Matt felt towards Mello molded together. He turned on his heel, facing Mello again.

"No, I ain't done with tellin' you off," Matt decided. "You had everythin' in the world less than a year ago. Money, power, love. You threw it all away because of a grudge. You left me behind to be beaten half to death, you lost your rank as a gang leader, and you let some fucked up, cold asshole touch you. For what? Your looks? Your pride? What don't you get? The world don't revolve 'round you, Mello. No one cares how you look, especially not me. You were so self-indulged that you lost everything. Do you remember what you had, or who you were? Remember how strong you used to be?

"No, now that I think of it, you were never strong; you used a facade. Get over it, Mello, you're a fag. And now, your Beyond Birthday's fag. I don't want you anymore, you disgusting whore. Hell, I like Light more than you, and he held a gun up to my head. I don't forgive you, Mello. I ain't ever gonna forgive you."

With that, Matt left the dumbfounded Mello. Mello had never heard such criticism, especially not from someone who claimed to care for him so much. He buried his face into the wooden floor below him. As much as he wanted to refute Matt's statement, he knew it was true. What happened to him?


	23. In Dreams

**A/N:** This chapter might be a bit strange...but he supernatural elements of the story are finally going to mold into the plot, so enjoy.  
(reviews are still very appreciated)

* * *

_The scene in front of the watcher seemed miles, years, universes, away. _

_Sunlight poured through the white curtains, illuminating the white walls and Lawliet's pale features. There were no bags under his eyes. The boy smiled as his fingers danced across Light's bare chest. He spoke, though the watcher couldn't hear. It strained it's ears, trying desperately to comprehend Lawliet, but it was no use. Light laughed then placed his lips against Lawliet's. The kiss surprised Lawliet, but he immediately embraced it, sinking into it. Melting. _

_They laughed again, free of cares. The white linen enveloped their tangled bodies. Lawliet wrapped his fingers between Light's. He spoke again. The watcher yearned to be included, yearned to be part of this paradise, this wind caught the lace curtains. A soft breeze tousled Lawliet's hair. Light smoothed it. The morning's serenity dazzled their eyes. They kissed again. Light wrapped his arms around Lawliet and brought him on top of him. _

_Suddenly, Lawliet froze and snapped up. The white sheets were stained with blood. Lawliet gaped, clutching the hole in his chest. Then, the watcher invaded Light's body. __The sun disappeared behind a cloud, unveiling the illusion it's divine light created: The walls were a sickly gray and every inch of the room was covered in dust. And Lawliet...Lawliet was no longer laughing._ His under eyes were swollen with bags again. Light tried desperately to cease the bleeding, but it was too late. Lawliet slumped over the bed, his eyes frozen open. 

_"Lawliet!" Light cried._

_"He's dead," someone suddenly answered behind him._

_Light turned around, his body shaking. A strange apparition stood by the window, leaning against the dusty wall. How long had it been there? __He recognized the strange creature, although he couldn't imagine from where. _It's disgusting white face held a frightening smile, which remained even as tears brimmed in Light's eyes.  


_"Why?" Light begged it._

_"Because it was his time."_

_"What can I do?"_

_Suddenly, the wind picked up. It began to sweep away the dust, the room, the illusions. Lawliet was no longer sprawled dead on Light's lap. He and the apparition were in the middle of the desert. The thing pulled a glass from behind it's back and dipped it in the fountain next to it._

_"Want some?" he offered the glass to Light, the maniacal smile plastered across his face._

* * *

Light tried to shrug the dream off as his horse galloped close behind Beyond's. He had heard dreams were a window to the subconscious, just as eyes were a window to the soul, yet his subconscious made as little sense as wandering through the desert naked without water. The strange serene scene between he and Lawliet invaded his thoughts. He tried to ignore it, figuring dreams were sometimes weird. But, he couldn't fight the interest it captivated or the emotions it stirred. Since Light had become Kira, Lawliet rarely crossed his mind. Yet, he constantly haunted Light's dreams. That dream left the biggest impression on Light's thoughts so far.

"We should find a place to rest before the sun gets too high," Beyond pointed out.

"Yes," Light answered absently. Mello merely shrugged. Mello's silence was a pleasant change, although it was the result of Light's favorite house mate taking off. Yesterday, they left later than expected because Beyond had to literally drag Mello from his room. After the tiresome event, mixed with the exhausting dream, Light was ready to collapse. He needed to save his energy to face the Yotsuba group. They were cunning, but their intelligence was nothing compared to the combining intellect of Beyond Birthday, Mello, and Kira.

Kira. L tossed sucking candy into his mouth, slurping as the sugar dissolved into a liquid on his tongue. This investigation was taking longer than L expected. He had several suspects, but each were cleared entirely shortly after they were suspected. He couldn't stand being wrong, especially since it allowed Kira freedom to continue his murderous reign. L suddenly felt a pang of guilt. He immediately suppressed it and took another look at newspaper clippings involving Kira incidents.

**CRIME RATE DECREASED 23%**

**RETRIBUTION BECOMES THE CRIMINAL'S FEAR**

**KIRA SAID TO CLEAN THE STREETS**

What idiotic headlines. L sighed and stuck his thumb on his lips. He couldn't continue to handle this alone. No matter how many connections he'd made through the governor, nothing seemed to be enough. Besides, if Kira _did_ work with Beyond, as he speculated...L shoved that thought to the back of his mind. He crushed Beyond's intoxicating control only recently, yet his grip still prodded at the back of L's mind.

The dream continued to prod at the back of his mind. Light lay quite still under his tent, trying to soothe his buzzing thoughts. Only twenty minutes ago, exhaustion ruled him. But now, he couldn't even keep his eyes closed. Images of the sunlight pouring on Lawliet's pure face flashed across his thoughts. How it branded him! Embedding his deepest desires; those he'd suppressed since he was young. Light shut his eyes, forcing them to remain closed. It was no use.

"Can you sleep?" someone knocked on L's door.

"No," L answered, gazing at the clippings circling around him.

Watari pushed the door open, carrying a steaming cup of tea. "I figured this would help you sleep."

"Thank you, Watari."

L knew it was no use. His attention was already sucked into the whirl wind of logical sequences and imaginative hypothesis. His never had a steady sleep schedule, even as a child. He used to wander over to Light Yagami's house and toss rocks at his window to wake him. Watari struggled to keep up with L's erratic sleeping patterns, but L noticed the elder's alertness was faltering. He pitied the man and tried to convince him to sleep at reasonable hours, but Watari refused to listen to L's protests. He turned his attention back to the newspaper clippings, wishing he knew more about Higuchi, Kira's first (public) kill. He figured if he knew more about Higuchi, he would receive clues about Kira.

Light decided to focus on the approaching mission. It would not be as easy as planting dynamite and blowing up their headquarters. No, they were spread all across the country and they were planing for an attack. Light kept a watchful eye on the traps they had set and the diversions they planted. There would be no harm, as long as he, Beyond, and Mello approached the situation intelligently. He learned the Yotsuba group consisted of only seven men, but there were countless others paid to protect and aid them. Yes they would have to be careful and leave no trace of evidence.

"I've come to inform you there's was a message left for you," Watari spoke, his clear voice pronounced each word delicately.

"What message?" L took the tea from Watari and began to dump sugar in it.

"It pertains to the Kira case. This individual is claiming to have worked with Kira."

L paused for a moment, sensing a trap. "Alright, send in a decoy to see what he has to say. If it's legitimate, then I'll meet with the witness."

"Alright, I'll get him," Beyond mumbled as Light woke him from his heavy sleep. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, it's been prepared already," Watari nodded and left L alone again.

"Aw'right," Light said as Beyond wandered over to Mello's tent to wake the boy up.

A sudden rush of desire struck him. The past, the present, the future. Everything that happened, happened for a reason. He found himself haunted, no characterized, by who his past. He tried to ensure himself that this was it, this was his destiny. But no, there was something more. There was always something more.

* * *

_L struggled to break free from the constraints on his wrists. They tugged at his skin, cutting into his wrists. The pain was unbearable until he finally obtained his liberty. He gazed down at his bloody wrists. Eleven fingers. When had he fallen asleep?_

_He stood up, gazing at the empty black space before him. Normally, he would attempt to recreate the scenes between his idea of Kira and Kira's victims. He suddenly didn't feel like it, though. In fact, there was an overwhelming urge to let go of the control and allow his dream to take him away. So, he closed his eyes and leaned back, falling into the void behind him._

_Suddenly, he collapsed onto a bed. He sprawled out among it, finding himself intertwined with Light. A smile spread across his face. _

_"Good morning, Light," he found himself saying._

_Light chuckled and L started to trace the fantastic muscle cuts on Light's chest. It was striking pleasing to curl against Light's warm, naked body. Light turned his head, allowing L to press his lips against his. The warm, sunny air broke through the window, cascading a divine beam of light. It was the ideal heaven.  
_

_"Isn't it strange to find ourselves here? It's like we never parted," L smiled softly at his old best friend. His heart pounded as Light laughed against, his voice fluttered gracefully through the air. _

_Suddenly, the lights seemed to dim. L sat up and swung his legs over the bed. Now what did he subconscious want to reveal to him? When he turned back to speak to Light, he found the boy had disappeared. He sighed, partly wishing he could create a new image of Light. But it would never be the original. He stood up, compelled to wander towards the mirror hanging on the other side of the room. He traced his odd face. The sharp teeth. The purple lips formed in the shape of a frown. The bandaged eye. He didn't question his reflection, for he'd seen it before. From where, though, was the puzzle. He suddenly became incredibly thirsty._


	24. Conclusions

**A/N:** Sorry it's been so long. This chapter's going to focus on the Kira task force.  
So read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

"The witness tried to kill the decoy," Watari informed L.

L shrugged; these empty leads were starting to get to his head. Submitting to help gnawed at his pride, but he had no other choice. He couldn't allow the murderer to walk the streets; he deserved to be hung. Kira's death would remind others that vigilantes weren't useful or tolerated. His head buzzed as he shoved a piece of rock candy in his mouth.

Watari left L alone again. He gazed at the mountains of papers stacked around him. Finally his eyes fell on the letter from the three sheriffs who best suited the characteristics he needed for the investigation: Sheriff Yagami, Aizawa, and Matsuda. According to the information L received, they were loyal, hardworking, and (somewhat) intelligent. Their connections with other towns would be helpful, too. The three and their deputies had worked together on several occasions, which would add a comradeship which L lacked. He never worked with others; normally, others slowed him down. But this was different.

Four days later, Watari brought in a blindfolded Soichiro Yagami and Deputy Mogi. L wanted to know he could trust them first before he revealed the location of his hideout.

"Don't take your blindfolds off, yet," L instructed. He stood up, his chest suddenly weighed him down.

Soichiro aged terribly since they'd last seen each other. Creases buried deep in his forehead and his lips were wrinkled and pale. The lines surrounding Yagami's mouth hinted troubling grief and sorrow. L suddenly regretted inviting him to help the case. But, it was too late to go back now. "Before you take them off, I want you to know that we met a long time ago. In fact, we were close. You two will be the only of the six who know my real identity, and I would like to keep it that way. I've brought you here because I know what you are capable of. You may remove your blindfolds."

The two obeyed. As soon as Soichiro's eyes fell upon L, they lit up. "Law-Lawliet?" he gaped.

"It's L now," L corrected him. "In front of the others, though, please call me Ryuzaki."

"An alias for an alias?" Mogi's brows furrowed.

The detective's false identity flew right over Soichiro's head. "Lawliet, where have you been all this time? I-I've been trying to contact you for a few months now."

"Why?"

"Li-Light's dead."

Before he could stop himself, L sunk to his knees. The overwhelming emptiness absorbed his body, grasping his soul into it's terrifying clutches. His vision blackened. He couldn't feel anything. The knowledge of Light's death meant any hope L clutched onto to see his friend again was gone. L never planned to see Light again, but there was always the possibility. Light deserved a full, happy life. Yet, only death greeted the youth. The numbness died away and a pang of regret struck at L's chest.

"I'm sorry," was all Light's father murmured.

"How did it happen?" L asked.

"He got married at sixteen, 'cause he got this girl pregnant. They moved into together and just when she was 'bout to have the baby, the house burned down. The bartender at the saloon Light used to go to said he was there around the time the house caught fire, but he left the saloon and walked home. No one's seen'im since."

L shoved aside his emotions, bottling them up under the interest of the new case. Light was dead; that was that. It was only logical to move past the grief. "Did you find his body?"

"No."

"How do you know he's dead then?"

"It's not certain, but like I said, no one's found him. Believe me, we sent his description to every town. Besides, ain't nothin' was left in that rubble. No trace of furniture, or nothin'. Just ashes. Misa's body wasn't found, neither. They could've taken off, but I don't know where they'd go."

"I suppose that makes sense," L muttered.

Memories of nights alone with Light flooded into L's head. His laugh, his smile, his passionate nature became suddenly unfamiliar, lost in a jumble of logic and deductions. Light was always on the back of L's mind, reminding L who he was. Light's memory was his only source of identity L had left; the identity L abandoned years ago. He was the reason L changed and buried it. He was ashamed of who he had become when he left Light. The emptiness, the indifference, the submission to Beyond were all because of his father's death. Light only wanted to help him, yet he took off. He ran from his problems, like a child; he ran from Light.

Lawliet was pathetically weak, but L was different. L approached everything reasonably, even the death of his only true friend. Mourning was illogical and irresponsible . He barely knew the person Light had become. Apparently, Light impregnated some girl and married her. The Light Lawliet had known was timid when it came to relationships, even their own. Lawliet had been in love with Light since the moment he'd met him, but L didn't care about those petty feelings anymore. Light never loved him back, and now he was dead. It didn't matter. Only Kira mattered now.

"Give him some time." L suddenly become aware of the bodies surrounding him. "He does this sometimes."

"Shuts down?"

"No. He buries himself in his thoughts," Watari sighed.

L would sometimes sit for hours in silence, completely unaware of the world around him. Watari always called it a, 'coping mechanism'. L disagreed; he had nothing to cope with. It was more pondering than anything else, drowning himself in his thoughts. He trusted his mind before anything else; it rarely failed him.

He wondered how long he'd been out that time as he stood up, rubbing his aching knees. "Kira's actions are becoming more daring and perverse. Only a few days ago, he left a bandit naked, mangled, and dead in the streets. Everything he does is a warning to other criminals, reminding them of their fate if they continue their ways. It's working, but he can't kill whomever he pleases. It's unjustified and evil. Society doesn't need a murderer to control other murderers, it needs a steady government with a keen sense of justice. That is where our investigation team will come to play. I need your full cooperation and loyalty for us to catch Kira. Will you provide it?"

"Yes," both Yagami and Mogi said.

L ignored the pain that lurked in Soichiro's eyes. The man had obviously been through a lot, but his mentality locked into the right place. Yagami's dedication to justice a motivated L. With his help, L's hopes for Kira's capture increased by thirty-seven percent. He always trusted Yagami, just as he had trusted his son.

The next few days, Sheriff Matsuda and his Deputy Ukita arrived, along with Sheriff Aizawa and his Deputy Ide. The six men, excluding L, caught up on each other's lives, chatting about events and things L couldn't bring himself to care about. He constantly focused on the case, especially if Light's name was mentioned. Light had nothing to do with the case, at least until Soichiro pointed out a strange connection.

"That was three days after Light's death," Sheriff Yagami murmured as L began to discuss Higuchi. The board hanging on the wall held all of Kira's victims in a chronological order, along with facts about each and connections they may have had. When Yagami said this, his eyes traced down the line of victims, back and fourth, until they fell upon Higuchi again. "He almost shot Light."

"I remember that," Aizawa patted Yagami's back, a small chuckle escaped his lips. "Higuchi always had his eyes on Misa. He hated Light for takin' her."

L perked up. "Sheriff Yagami's son, his wife, and Higuchi all knew each other? And Higuchi had feelings for Light's wife?"

"Yes," Sheriff Yagami nodded.

L grabbed a pen and scribbled "Light" in front of Higuchi's death. "How long does it take to get to Saisho?"

"Three days. Where are you going with this, Ryuzaki?"

"Hypothetically, what if Higuchi burned down Light's house? What if he killed Misa, and Light wanted revenge?"

Yagami stood up, slamming his fist on the table. "What are you saying?" he growled.

"Kira kills murderers. There is a specific reason he started, a certain motive that drives him. If Light's wife and soon to be child were murdered by Higuchi, revenge might have been on the tip of his thoughts. He traveled to Saisho and killed Higuchi. It takes three days to travel, and Higuchi died three days after Light's house burned down."

The room fell silent. Yagami shook and collapsed back in his seat, sudden tears gushed down his cheeks. "You're tellin' me that if my son _is_ alive, then he is Kira?"

"No. I'm saying if you're son is alive, there is a _chance_ he is Kira. He has the motive and you had told me earlier he was brilliant. If he's alive, there is a seventeen percent chance Light is Kira. The connections are too coincidental."

"Maybe that's all they are; coincidence." Matsuda pointed out.

L was silent for a moment. "There is a reason for everything."


	25. Meetings and Greetings

L decided Light wasn't dead, although he couldn't think of a clear reason why he'd jumped to this conclusion. He barely knew the facts, yet a strange inkling reinforced Light was still out there. Of course, if he was alive, there was a high chance he was Kira. After a few days, Light became a suspect. He never told Soichiro, though; it would break the man's heart. The idea troubled L. He had practically raised Light; he had been Light's mentor. They grew up together. When had Light strayed?

When they were young, Light always wanted to play the bad guy. He yearned to defeat anything in his way. L tried to calm the boy's urge to be the "bad guy", but Light always did what he wanted. He was spoiled and relentless, but Lawliet loved him. L, on the other hand, couldn't. L couldn't love a murderer.

He stopped himself, realizing he was jumping to too many conclusions. Only L's suspicions led to Light's guilt. But facing the facts, there was no real proof that Light was Kira. Strangely, L pined for him to be Kira. It made the investigation easier, and it meant Light was alive...

"Ryuzaki?" a head poked through the door, breaking his train of thoughts. L silently thanked the intruder. His resistance to his feelings for Light began to falter again. The more he thought about Light, the more he yearned for his friend.

L turned his head to face Sheriff Matsuda. "Yes?"

"'Member that fella who claimed to know Kira? The one who was jailed 'cause he stole food, then refused to leave 'less he talked to someone 'bout Kira?"

"Yes, what about him?"

L stood up, sliding his long, delicate fingers into his pocket. He was terribly bored and the idea of speaking to another 'witness' made him nauseous. Every week, multiple people claimed to know who Kira was, yet they either tried to kill L or were just searching for attention. L kept his identity in the shadows, but since Kira began his reign of terror, the name 'L' became famous. Many knew he was a detective, hunting down the murderer. For that, bandits had a tendency to side with him, while others were mad with vengeance. Civilians wanted Kira around to enforce the law. He cast a shadow upon crime, smothering it with his silver finger. Of course, the civilians who worshiped Kira were becoming criminals, themselves. How hypocritical.

"I think he's tellin' the truth."

A criminal telling the truth? Apparently, the kid didn't have a record or a warrant, so it was his first arrest. He couldn't pay the bail, so he'd sat in the jailhouse for two weeks. When it was time to leave, though, he refused, swearing he knew Kira. It struck L as odd, but he had asked Matsuda to look into it, just in case. And loyal Matsuda did so.

"I would like to speak to him. Tell Watari to bring him here."

Matsuda hesitated a moment. "Well, actually he wants to talk to L."

"L," L repeated.

"Yeah. You said you knew'im, right?"

"Yes. I work close with him. He would reveal his identity to the task force, but he's still judging whether or not you're all trustworthy. Can you blame him? To some people, he's the one fighting against justice-he's the evil one. But, Matsuda, you must understand, his trust for you all is slowly growing. It's nothing personal, just continue your jobs and he will reveal himself to you. Now, since this boy has appeared legitimate, I would like to have a follow up conversation with him. Then I will decide whether he deserves L's attention."

Once again, Matsuda was silent. A pleasant treat to L's burning ears. He rarely had peace now that the task force lived in his quarters. Normally they bothered him for one reason or another. He just wanted to be left alone.

"Well?" L peered at the sheriff.

"Oh, yeah, I'll get right on that," he scurried out the door, leaving L to his thoughts again.

* * *

_Light cried as L cradled him. His chest heaved from the hysterical sobbing. "I don't want to go, I don't want to go, I don't want to go."_

_"It's okay," L cooed, running his fingers through the young boy's hair. "I'll be right next to you."_

_Light trembled as he stood up straight, his hand never left L's grip. He took a step forward and regret immediately shone in his eyes. "I can't do it."_

_L chuckled, placing his lips on Light's forehead. Young Light tossed his arms around L, gazing up at him. "Okay, L. If you promise to be here, I'll do it."_

_With that, the two walked towards the edge of the cliff. Light glanced back one more time before leaping off the side. L watched as he fell into the dark abyss below him, suddenly realizing he shouldn't follow. Light's scream for L echoed up the canyon, but L just turned around. There was nothing more he could do. He glanced down at the hand Light had held only moments ago to find he, once again, had six fingers. It was a dream. _

_Light had fallen into the pit, and L didn't stop him...but it was a dream. He calmed his nerves and collapsed on the floor. "Light?" he called._

_"Yes?" He turned to face the grown Light, standing over him. A devious smile appeared on his lips._

_"Tell me you're okay. That you're alive. That you're not Kira."_

_"I'm alive," Light promised, running his fingers through L's hair. Suddenly, he tugged L up by his locks and pulled L's face close to his own. L didn't struggle, but hung limply as Light towered over him, his grin growing. His eyes flashed a violent crimson. "Do you want me to be Kira? Are you so ashamed of your feelings that you hope I am evil so you can kill me yourself? Hide in that room all your life, but you will never escape the clutch I have on your heart."_

_Something pierced into L's chest. He tried to catch his breath. Frantically, he struggled to fight the enormous Light, but it was no use. "It's just a dream," he repeated over and over. Why wasn't his subconscious listening to him? _

_"It's just a dream!" he shouted one last time before the strange Light vanished, leaving the crumpled L as a heap on the floor. The canyon vanished. L was alone. _

* * *

In all his experience lucid dreaming, his subconscious had never fought with him. Normally, it agreed and obeyed his wishes. That night was disturbing. It felt so real. It was like someone invaded his thoughts, controlling the world surrounding him. Whatever it was dared him to find Light. L huffed as he rose from his bed. The ideas of destiny and a higher power were utterly ridiculous. If a higher power did exist, it was sadistic and cruel. L suddenly felt like a puppet as he questioned his normal morals. He rarely questioned himself, since he was normally right.

Did abandoning Light really drive him to become Kira? Had he created this new monster? L gazed out the window, longing for answers. His whole life based around finding the truth, and he couldn't even do that. His father's death was still a complete mystery, one he revisited every day. Yet, the man who murdered his father continued to roam the Earth, along with Kira. The amount of terror in the world was too overwhelming for him to handle on his own.

L suddenly wondered if he was losing control of his normally meticulous life. All because of this Kira case. Everything had been so easy before the case. He had all the time in the world to think and ponder, taking down criminals and proving their guilt. He saved hundreds of people and found justice for many more, yet still others continued to die. And if Light was Kira...that would be te biggest loss of all.

Someone knocked on his door. "Come in."

"That boy is here," Watari informed L. L stood up and followed him across the hall.

The boy was about sixteen with shaggy burgundy hair. He slouched over the desk in front of him, strangely interested in a knot in the wood. Goggles perched on his nose, hiding his eyes from L's view. He was skinny, too skinny. His eyes remained focused on the desk in front of him as L walked in.

"Are you L?" he asked.

"No," L lied.

"I want to speak to L."

"He's not available at the moment. You can tell me whatever you have to tell him, and he'll decide whether you're worth his time."

The boy suddenly laughed, wiping his mouth his his gloved hand. "Worth his time? Who does he think he is? God? The information I have is more important than his pride. I told that sheriff enough already. I ain't gonna talk 'til I get to speak to L."

L closed the doors behind him and perched in the chair on the other side of the table. "If I tell you where L is, you are sworn to secrecy. You will give me every right to kill you."

"Yeah, whatever. I would probably be much better off than I am now," the boy chuckled. There was a complete obliteration of hope in his laugh. L studied him farther; his submissive posture, his lack of eye contact, his crooked, pained smile.

"Take off your goggles," L instructed. The boy obeyed, revealing two different color eyes. The surprise failed to phase L as he examined the boy's eyes. Grief and pain clouded them. Gazing into the boys eyes, L oddly felt he could trust the boy. Finally, he admitted his identity.

"You're L?" the boy scoffed. "I gotta admit, I'm a bit surprised. But, doesn't matter much to me. I can be skeptical, or I can just tell you. What's the harm either way? Name's Mail Jeevas, by the way. But call me Matt."

"Alright, Matt, tell me everything you know."

"Let me start off by sayin' I met Kira before he became Kira. I can't help but blame myself. Somethin' happened to him when I first met him that triggered his blood lust. I could've stopped him, and I didn't."

"What's his name?"

"Light Yagami."

* * *

It was all moving too fast. Light tried desperately to fight off the body guards as Beyond hid outside. Coward. He should've never trusted the bastard. Cool metal suddenly poked his cheek. He froze, immediately recognizing the bitter smell of burnt gunpowder. His eyes scanned the room until they fell upon Mello's crumpled body. His chest heaved up and down as he tried to catch his breath. The boot of the man above him swung into Mello's chest again.

"That's enough," someone called from the door way. A tall, lean man with straight black hair walked in. Light immediately recognized him: Reiji Namikawa . It was his house they had broken into. According to his sources, Namikawa was out of town on 'business'. Apparently, his sources had tricked him. How could he have fallen for such an easy trick?

"Which one of you is Kira?"

Mello pursed his lips. Light waited for Namikawa to continue. "If I kill one of you, there is a fifty percent chance I will be ridding the world from the most feared criminal. The man whose name ever bandits tremble from. But, I want Kira around."

"Why?" Light asked. Namikawa was a curious man. After researching him, Light figured out he was the brains of the group. He was controlled, poised, and rarely showed flaws. He was the reason the Yotsuba group succeed so well.

Namikawa ignored the question and continued his speech. "Frankly, I'm happy Higuchi's dead. I know that sounds awful, but his presence was extremely trying. I always wondered when I would see my name plastered on a wanted poster. With him dead, though, my risk for getting caught has dropped tremendously. For that, I thank Kira. Of course, I'm still debating whether to kill Kira. If I let you go, will you still come after me? I think you shouldn't, since I've given you the gift of life. But, you may go after my comrades. Or-" he stopped suddenly.

"Or?"

"Or we could go after L."

"You mean the detective whose been trying to catch me?" Light sneered, no longer worried about masking who he was. "Why would you want to help me?"

"Because once Kira's gone, he'll go after the Yotsuba group. Having Kira after us was bad enough. We've had to make special precautions for everything. But if L catches us, we're done for. He'll have the entire government chasing after us. We'll be dead before we could take another threat."

"You want to use one threat to destroy another? I'm a bit insulted."

"Don't be, my comrades are still quite scared of you. Please, men, let go of Kira and help his friend up. We have a lot of arrangements to make. If you could please call your other friend inside, that would be most acceptable."

Light helped the panting Mello up. Mello leaned on him, trying desperately to catch his breath. After a few seconds, Mello struggled from Light's grip and left the house to grab Beyond. Everyone exited the room, leaving Light and Namikawa alone. The cool smile planted across Namikawa's lips hinted that he had been planning this meeting for a while. Light sighed and sat on an awaiting couch, his eyes never leaving Namikawa.


	26. Unity

_"I know who you are?"_

_"Do you?"_

_Their shadows stretched far behind them, clawing across the desert dirt. The sun was nearly set. An orange glow cast across the sky, illuminating their faces. Light hung his head and sighed softly. "I knew you would figure it out sooner or later. What do you propose we do now?"_

_Their eyes met. L's face flushed and gaze fell to the floor. "I'm not sure."_

_"Aw, c'mon, Lawli. You always know what to do. Why are you hestitating?"_

_"Because I don't want it to be true."_

_They sat in silence. The sun vanished; darkness welcomed the moon. It's pale face smiled down upon the boys. These were the nights they had dreamed of for the past four years. Light offered to start a camp fire, but Lawliet preferred the darkness. _

_"If I'm Kira, and you're L, does that mean we can't be friends anymore?" Light tried to force a chuckle, except his voice cracked. _

_"We haven't been friends for a long time."_

_"I thought about you, Lawli. I always think about you."_

_"I know."_

_"Do you?"_

_"Yes Light," L turned his head to face Light's silhouette. With delicate, hesitant fingers, he traced Light's jaw bone. "I can't any longer, though. I guess this is good-bye."_

_Suddenly, Light sobbed softly, burying his face in L's palm. "I don't wanna lose you again, Lawli. This is the only place I can see you. This is the only place I can tell you I love you. We're enemies outside, Lawli. And wi-without you, I'm nothin' but a murderer."_

_Lawliet leaned close to Light's trembling silhouette. His lips lingered near Light's. Light closed the gap; his lips drenched in tears. "I love you, Lawliet" he muttered._

_"I love you, too," Lawliet answered. Suddenly, they dissolved into the night. Kira and L were left in their wake._

* * *

_"_So this is why he don't sleep," someone mumbled.

"Not in front of us, at least," a voice responded. Their chatter continued, yaking the night away. The sleeping boy lay stiffly on the bed, his body rigid from exhaustion. Every few minutes a new dream snapped him awake, tormenting him. The connection between himself and his old friend tore at every part of his sanity, driving him into a state which he used to doubt existed. The strange tether that tied them together all those years strengthed and yanked repeatedly. Every moment, he had to stop himself to catch his breath, to expel the abnormal sorrow from his soul.

Yet, it would continuously return, knocking itself into his conscious. The collisions erupting in his head became too overwhelming. Constant back and fourth. Love, hate, sorrow, anger; all passionate feelings which he worked meticulously to subdue. Emotions had not been an issue for a long time, but recently they became his biggest problem. He could barely focus on his mission without feeling a strange sorrow.

After losing his best friend, after everything he had gone through, he thought coping would become easier. But no, the past few days it had gotten much worse. It dampened any hopes, washing away all sense of sanity. He feared he would lose his mind.

"Are you ready to go?" someone asked.

His fingers clutched his pillow. How he wished he could sleep undisturbed! But, he had a job to fulfill. "Yes, I'm ready."

* * *

Drums pounded in L's ears as the caravan wove through the desert, following Matt's directions carefully. He already knew Beyond's house's location. It's torn shingles and broken floor boards taunted him with disgusting memories. There was nothing he could do. It would be his word with no proof that the man who lived at that location was Beyond Birthday. But, with Matt's testimony and the evidence against Light, Beyond's house would finally be raided.

L would watch from afar. The thought of seeing Beyond, of him revealing L's secrets, was too much to bear. He had enough to think about already. As they approached the house, the horses' canter slowed to a soft trot. Beyond's fingers were faster than any L had seen before; he could kill them all in twenty seconds with one gun. Surprise was necessary.

The house looked more disheveled than when L left it a year prior. Cracks ran across each window, the porch clouded with dust. It leaned a bit to the left, giving way to the weight it attempted to hold up. All the while, L couldn't keep his eyes from Beyond's room. Suddenly, two crimson eyes gazed down upon him. L gaped, yanking his horses reigns to stop the beast. When he glanced back at the window, he realized his mistake; his mind was playing tricks on him.

"You aw'right?" Sheriff Matsuda asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"Yes," L mumbled, massaging his temples. He suddenly became conscious of his incredible thirst.

Sheriff Yagami rode close behind him, wearing the same stoic face he had on when they'd left L's house. When L tried to fire him from the case, since he was too close to the suspect, Sheriff Yagami proclaimed he wanted to watch Light's safety. A notion of false hope remained in the sheriff. Light Yagami was no longer his loving son; he was just a murderer. His denial was troubling, but L understood. He could barely believe it himself.

The men hoped off their horses, the thuds from their landing smothered by the cakey dirt. Each grabbed the gun from their holster. They approached the front door, silently motioning the steps. L examined the jaded house and suddenly called out, "There are no horses here." The men jumped as his voice ripped apart the silence.

Beyond always kept his horse tied to the front of the house. The water basin was next to the porch, but there was no horse near it. And a horse was necessary to come and go from the house. No horses meant no people.

"There ain't any fresh tracks 'round," Matt scanned the ground. "Probably means they left a few days ago."

"Can you think where they might have gone?"

Matt shrugged, his shaggy hair bounced. "Probably to kill someone. They should be back soon."

"What if we hid our horses and made ourselves at home and waited here for'em?" Matsuda suggested before he took a long swig from his canteen. The sheriffs and deputies immediately agreed with him, claiming it would be a good method. After mulling over the consequences, L decided they were right. Matsuda rounded up the horses and began to search for a place to hide them.

L hoped off his horse and took a step towards the house. His lungs suddenly filled with dread. Anticipation clawed under his skin with each step he took, gouging at his heart and chest. His heart beat in his ear. His fingers trembled as he touched the door knob. The door moaned when he pushed it open. His eyes immediately fell upon the floor.

_"See, it wasn't too bad," Beyond snickered._

_"I suppose not." _

L cradled his conscience, wishing it would stop tormenting him, wishing the house would stop tormenting him. But every corner, every inch, prodded his mid with vile memories and thoughts. He tried desperately to make up for what he'd done. The woman he killed was so young...He didn't even know her name. She was never given a proper funeral, they just cremated her and dumped her ashes in the desert. His sense of justice stemmed from when he was a child, but after his father's murder, he cut himself off from his conscience and forgot all about the law. He buried himself in Beyond's evil to hide from his torment. He left because he wanted to redeem himself. The path he had chosen was neither pure nor good; it was not his destiny.

Standing in the house, remembering the awful events he had forced himself to forget-it was an indescribable feeling. He wanted to rip off every piece of his skin and burn it, cleanse it, free himself from the guilt. But, it continued to eat him away. He became the leader of justice to atone for what he had done, but Light stepped into his dirty, disgusting shoes.

Light. His Light. His best friend. L's knees gave way and he sunk to the floor, still clutching the door handle.

"Jesus, L, you aw'right?" Matt scooped the detective up and pulled him to his feet.

"Yes, sorry," L composed himself immediately, silencing the insanity that clawed at his brain. "Let's look around."

* * *

"When we reach Mido's house, you cannot tell him who you are. You are just Light Yagami, a childhood friend," Namikawa instructed.

Light nodded and leaned his chest against his stallion's neck. His body had been aching for a few days. It started when he found it impossible to sleep. His eyelids drooped as the group continued North to Mido's home. Light tried desperately to focus on what would come next, but his mind spun. The last few days made it exceedingly hard for him to figure out the difference between what was important and what wasn't. Namikawa kept a close eye on the three boys, and had grown a liking to Beyond Birthday. They shared the same natural confidence and relied fully on their own composure.

Contradictory to their cool nature, Mello seemed to be losing his grip on his sanity. He would mumble to himself on occasion and his eyes would ignite an unexplainable fiery rage every so often. He rarely seemed concerned with the occurrences surrounding him. Something, or someone (Light assumed Matt), enveloped his thoughts completely. Plus being Beyond's puppet hindered any good mood he had.

Although he hated to admit it, Light understood Mello's pain. He didn't submit to Beyond as Mello did, but the obvious dominance of the murderer put a strain on Light's confidence. He questioned why he relied on a devious, evil, criminal, when he should stray on his own. Many times, he'd had to force himself to remember Beyond's purpose. Although, Light had an odd inkling that he was the one being used, not Beyond.

But, it didn't matter. He was too tired to think at that moment. He lounged across his horse, wishing there was a way he could rest.

"We should camp for the night before we reach Mido," Namikawa suggested.

"Sounds good," Beyond smirked.

So they did. The next day's journey felt twice as long. Light just wanted to go home; to see his father, to kiss his mother. But it was too late for all of that. He was Kira now, and that's all he would ever be. But the thrill of cleansing the world began to suffocate. All that was left was remnants of an idealistic utopia that Light couldn't help but wonder if it was possible.

'Probably not,' he laughed to himself. 'I'm doin' all this for nothin'.'

He pined for Lawliet and comfort constantly. Yet, something in his gut told him Lawliet would now only bring him trouble. The more he tried to drive Lawliet from his memory, the stronger the subconscious Lawliet would grow.

As they trailed across the desert, Light began to wonder where God had disappeared to. He grabbed his canteen from his belt and brought it to his cracking lips. He took a few swigs and place it carefully back. He still felt incredibly thirsty.


	27. The Pain

**A/N:** I know there hasn't been too much action occurring in the recent chapters, but it's going to pick up again in the next chapter. And when it does, it's going to continue to build up.  
But, until then, read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

It had been four days since they'd settled at the house. The longer they waited, the more restless L became. He barely slept as it was, but sitting in the house where he lost his morals, virtue, and empathy was taking a toll on his body. Every part of him weighed hundreds of pounds. Every time he closed his eyes, even for a moment, visions of the woman's face would appear. Beyond would sneak next to him, cackling. Those cold, long fingers would trace L's spine; his hot breath stung L's nose. L found himself struggling to fight his own memories, trying to force himself to revert to his old self again.

It was useless. The house made it impossible.

L crouched on a seat by the window in his bedroom (which he had promptly made sure was the farthest from Beyond's). He gazed out to the barren, dark, landscape, anticipating the vision of three horses riding through the night, towards the house. But, they never came.

Matt's voice suddenly echoed from the doorway. "They ain't gonna show up any faster if you keep starin' out that window. Sleepin'll make the time pass a whole Hell'a a lot quicker." L turned his head; his large, black eyes watched as Matt headed towards his bed. He sat on the mattress, kicking his boots off. "Look, I know we ain't friends or nothin', but I can't keep holdin' back from you. This place-it gives me the goddamn chills. Just rememberin' their voices...it's like they're here next to me. I keep seein' Mello everywhere I turn. Aw'right, not seein' him, but I keep expectin' to. Y'know what I mean?"

L knew too well. He didn't reply, though; he wanted to see where Matt was going. He knew the kid was withholding some information. Hopefully, something that would bring a certain comfort. No, pain was inevitable in the house; there was no comfort. Matt pulled the goggles from his eyes, pushing them into his bushy hair.

"I wanna ask what your plannin' to do once we catch'em."

"I'm going to hang them," L replied coolly.

"Just like that?"

"Yes. Why do you want to know? Aren't you happy with your freedom?"

Matt hesitated, his eyes fell to the floor. He opened his mouth, then immediately shut it. "I don't think you should kill Mello."

"Why not?"

Silence. L scratched his matted hair, trying to lose the visions of tying a noose around Light's neck. His long, porcelain neck. When he laughed, his prominent Adam's apple bobbed violently. It always fascinated L. He'd had to stop himself multiple times from touching it. But, he could nearly imagine what it felt like; Light's warm skin, the hard cartilage. Light would've retracted from L's touch, as he always had. But it wouldn't have mattered, because he loved Lawliet; he revealed his true feelings every day, no matter how he tried to smother them.

And Lawliet loved him too.

Matt's voice snapped L from his day dream. The lack of sleep was catching up to him. "He's not entirely evil, not like Beyond. Beyond's probably the most wicked out of the bunch. Hell, I don't even think Light deserves to die, not after what he went through. But, I don't care too much 'bout him. It's Mello I worry 'bout. He really lost himself after Light burned him. I mean, he was a stranger to me. I just don't think he should die..."

"Your own feelings are of no importance," L snapped, surprised at the venom lodged in his voice. "This is a matter of life or death. Mello will be hanged for his crimes because he is a criminal. What happened between you two does not matter any longer. He is not the friend you once knew."

A single tear rolled down Matt's cheek. "Lover," he whispered.

"What?" L cocked his head, suppressing the wild bitter feelings that raged in his stomach.

"He was my lover."

Silence clouded the room. Unsure how to respond to the knew knowledge, L stood up and left Matt alone in the room. So he wasn't the only one facing contradictory, irking emotions. Apparently his hypothesis was wrong before; Matt's words _could_ bring him comfort.

He closed the door behind him, smothering the aching pang in his heart. Just as it was silenced, something suddenly burst in his stomach. It singed his innards, tearing through his body. L collapsed, his limbs buckling from the pain. He attempted to call for help; his vocals disobeyed him. Every muscle, every bone, every cell ignited into a fit of pain. His fingers trembled as he tried to crawl towards the door. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak; he was trapped in his bodies disobedient shell. In the distance, he heard a soft voice.

"Lawliet!"

* * *

The pain yanked Light from his stupor. Visions from his horrendous nightmare immediately seeped through his thoughts. Lawliet had had his back turned to him and when Light touched the boy shoulder, Lawliet's empty body fell backwards. His barren black eyes stared blankly up at Light. And when Light called to him, the only response was a gurgle that came from Lawliet's mouth. Foam drizzled down his lips. His neck snapped as he contorted his body, fighting Light's grasp. He tried to reason with Lawliet, but he was dead. A rope hung tightly around his neck. The skin around the noose was a sickening purple. When Light tried to untie it in hopes of reviving Lawliet, the body snapped at him and collapsed to the floor, withering until it froze, completely petrified.

Light called Lawliet's name, only to find pain surged through his own body. That's when he woke up. He tried desperately to catch his breath. He bashed his fist against the dirt floor, attempting to wake the sleeping Beyond. No response. He gasped for air. His blood boiled, burned through his veins.

"Help," he squeaked, finding his vocal chords failed him. With every last bit of energy, he found only one name roll quietly off his tongue: "Lawliet!"

Then, the pain ceased. He clutched his blanket, his body lay stiffly on the dirt. He struggled to pull his thoughts together, unsure of what just happened. His disturbing dream had been met by a more disturbing event. He immediately assumed he was sick. Too sick. He glanced around at the men surrounding him. They slept soundly as Light lay trembling under the blanket. He couldn't be around them anymore; not for a few weeks. Maybe his body was just telling him he desperately needed a break from the constant blood shed and planning. All they ever did was plan.

He snapped up and tiptoed towards his horse. He mounted her and took off into the awaiting night.

Days passed. Light never slept. He refused to. That dream haunted him. Lawliet's frozen eyes; his snapping jaw; memories of his past friend conformed into a monster. No. Lawliet wasn't the monster.

Light gasped as the sun ducked under the horizon again. The horse grew tired. He never did. He sometimes wondered if he was headed in the right direction. He heard his destination calling him. He wanted desperately to answer, but his horse needed to sleep. He needed to sleep. He couldn't. Just when he felt like he was at a breaking point, hope rose in the form of a desolate house.

He jumped off his horse and limped towards the door. His body ached. With trembling fingers, he brought his knuckles to the door. He struck it twice and leaned against the frame. The door opened slightly. Two eyes peered at Light through the crack. When they processed the scene on the doorstep, the door flung open.

"Light!" arms linked around Light's neck. "Oh God, Light. Where have you been?"

"Hey ma," Light strained to say. He stumbled forward, leaning on his mother for support.

"What happened to you?" she suddenly began sobbing as she buried her head into his chest. "Where have you been? Let's get you inside, darlin'."

"Thanks," Light mumbled. It was the last thing he remembered until the morning.

* * *

"This case has taken a toll on all of us," L announced to the group of men surrounding him. "You've all lost a great deal of sleep waiting for them to come. Yet, it's been a few weeks. I'm not suggesting we leave."

L paused. In his voice's absence, Sheriff Matsuda's chirped, "Then what _are_ you suggestin'?"

"I think we should each take a break. One at a time. We can each get some rest, then come back here and be more prepared to fight then before."

With a shaking hand, he lifted the tea to his lips. The hot liquid splashed on his lap. Almost immediately, as if he was waiting for it, Sheriff Yagami patted the hot tea from L's lap. He thanked him softly and placed the tea cup back on the saucer. After that night, L's body halted it's proper function. The tremors were uncontrollable and he couldn't stand for more than a few minutes. Even though help was offered, the unsettling loneliness crept up on him.

Sheriff Yagami wiped his forehead and leaned back in his chair. "I ain't gonna argue with that," he sighed. "After all, the misses probably isn't doin' too good. But-I don't think I can tell her 'bout Light. It'll break her heart."

"Yes, that's understandable. It's also the reason I think you should be the first to go."

"Why? 'Cause of my wife?"

"No," L's voice wavered. "Because of your son."

Sheriff Yagami packed his bags at lightening speed; apparently the house irked him as well. L crouched on the dinning room chair as Yagami passed through the kitchen. They didn't utter a word but when their eyes met, a surge of familiar pain spread across L's body. He ignored it and bowed his head, suddenly regretting inviting Sheriff Yagami to be part of the task force. No man deserved to chase after his own son.

"Good-bye, Lawliet," Sheriff Yagami said as he left the kitchen.

His old name rang in his ears. For once, though, it didn't bother him. "Good-bye, Soichiro. Have a safe trip."


	28. Falling Apart

Light peeled his eyes open. Sunlight poured through the room's window, stinging his eyes. He shielded them and sat up. He immediately recognized the room, but couldn't figure out why or from where. His mind buzzed as he stood up.

"Hello?" he called.

"Good mornin' Light," a woman called from another part of the house. He followed the voice, unsure of the owner.

The woman stood in the kitchen, beating eggs in a large bowl. She smiled as Light stumbled into the room. "How are you feelin', darlin'? You gave me quite a scare yesterday. But, just sit down and I'll get you some eggs."

He didn't protest as she served him breakfast. His stomach gurgled as she placed the plate of eggs in front of him. He could barely fathom how hungry he was. Before she could bring him his juice, he scarfed down the eggs and was leaning contently on the back of his chair.

"Thank you," he smiled politely at the stranger.

He still couldn't figure out who she was. The feeling of deja vu occurred as he examined his surroundings. He _knew_ he had been there before. The answer, at the moment, was unidentifiable. And he had an inkling that if he asked the woman, she would become quite concerned. He certainly didn't want to worry her; she was so polite and kind. Besides, from the look of her weary eyes, she had enough to think about.

They spoke for a bit. She kept referring to him as, "darlin'". He avoided using her name, or mentioning anything about identity. He knew his name: Light Yagami. That was easy. The rest, however, was a blur. He couldn't figure out what he had done for the past years, let alone what happened yesterday. The longer they spoke, the more his head ached. He could ignore the steady pulse of pain, at first, but soon it became unbeareable.

"Excuse me, do you have any medicine?" he asked.

"Sure, Light, you know where it is."

He paused. He _had_ been there before. Why couldn't he remember? He stood up, trying desperately to dig into his thoughts and find these buried memories. _All_ of his buried memories. He wandered around the house and instinctively opened a door to the bathroom. He opened a shelf and pulled out a case of pills. Without second guessing himself, he popped a few and headed back to the awaiting woman.

His movements from then on were robotic and oddly comforting. Finding his way around the house and speaking with the woman required little thought. It definitely soothed his pounding head. "If you don't mind, I think I'm gonna take a bath."

"Sure, darlin'," she smiled.

The hot water tingled his skin as he dipped into the bath. The steam enveloped his face, sending him into a long day dream. When he snapped out of it, he tried to recall what had just happened; it escaped him. Where was he? He sat up, gazing down at the cooling water. It was definitely a bathroom. But whose bathroom?

He pulled a towel around his waist and wandered out the door. A strange woman met him. "Have a nice bath, darlin'?" she asked.

He whimpered, unsure how to respond to the stranger.

"Light?"

How did she know his name? He took a step back, bumping into the open door. When she reached her hand out, her long, bony fingers stretched towards him, he yanked his body away. "Who are you?" he demanded.

Grief passed across her face. Tears welled up in her eyes. Suddenly, he regretted asking such a foolish question. Of course he knew who she was. "Ma, sorry," he muttered and wrapped his arms around the frail woman. "I-I don't know what's come over me recently."

"At breakfast," she sobbed, "I just thought you were tired. The way your eyes looked, how they got all glossy, that ain't like you, Light. You looked confused, and I got worried. And that-don't scare me like that, Light!"

Light held his sobbing mother. His memories flooded back. What the Hell was happening to him? He temporarily forgot everything he once knew. No, not temporarily. Temporary was an understatement. The delay of his identity and memories, for more than a few hours, worried him. First that terrifying incident in the desert, and next he suddenly forgets everything. No, not everything. He remembered his name.

And one more thing: Lawliet. He remembered Lawliet. As he had walked around the strange house, he found himself wondering where Lawliet had run off too. Yes, he remembered now. When he had awoken, he thought he was playing a game of hide and seek with Lawliet.

"I'm gonna go change," he muttered and closed the bathroom door. The privacy was strangely unpleasant. He pulled his clothes on as fast as he could and rejoined his mother in the kitchen.

"Light," she glanced at him sternly. "I want you to sit down and tell me everythin'."

He obeyed and sat across the table from her. He began to fabricate a story where he had been the past few months: He started a grocery store with another man who had a lot of experience with business under his belt. The grocery store's popularity grew, but Light couldn't help but think of home constantly. When his mother asked why he never came back to visit, he assured he he wanted to, but after losing Misa and the baby, he wasn't sure where home was. He promised he tried to write, but he couldn't think of what to say.

His mother seemed to buy into everything he was saying, nodding as if she understood his falsified pain. If she knew the truth, though, she would never look at him again. But, she wouldn't understand the larger picture: The mission he had to fulfill. It would change the world, and it was all up to him. But...he decided putting it off for a few weeks wouldn't do much harm. He was sure Beyond would welcome him back with open arms. Mello wouldn't, but with Beyond around, Mello was merely dust in the wind.

They talked for a bit longer until, suddenly the front door opened. His mother shot up and ran to the door. "You're home!" she gasped. "Oh, Soichiro, I have such a surprise for you."

Light immediately stood up, anxiety rushed through his veins. His mother was easy to fool, but his father would be a different story. He may not even be willing to welcome Light. Light couldn't blame him; Light was gone for months without giving them any idea whether he was alive or dead. This, mixed with his father's stubbornness, might escalate to a fight. But Light was ready to face what he needed to. Whatever was clouding his normally sane mind was getting worse.

Soichiro walked in, towering above his tiny wife. He froze when his eyes locked on Light's. "Li-Light," he gasped.

"Hi, dad," Light smiled. But, he could immediately see his original assumption was correct.

His father forced a smile and muttered, "You're alive."

"Yeah. Listen, I'm sorry I never wrote, I always meant to, but-"

"Save it," his father snapped. "I don't wanna hear your excuses. You had your mother and I worried sick. We thought you were dead. And, Hell, we were just startin' to move on. What are you gonna do, come by for a visit and run off again?"

"Soichiro!" Light's mother cried out. "This is your son you're speaking to!"

Soichiro's hardened features suddenly relaxed. But, Light could still see pain lurking in his eyes. There was something else troubling his father...

Suddenly, Light's vision clouded. He gripped the table in front of him, gasping as darkness leaked into his sight. He heard his mother's voice calling for him, but he couldn't respond. Everything was fading so fast. Suddenly, he lifted his eyes and glanced around the room. The threat of blindness subdued, but something new appeared: his walls began to peel before his eyes. The tatters scabbed as they landed on the floor. The peeled walls revealed a layer of a moist, fleshy material. Light shrieked as the smell of rotting flesh hit his nose.

A hand grabbed his arm. "Light!" someone called.

The walls crawled towards him. They made a sickening squishing sound as they inched closer and closer. His heart raced as he stumbled backwards. Something caught him from hitting the ground. The hand around his arm tightened. He reached for it, trying to find it's owner. But only a shadowy figure loomed above him. He whimpered, hoping this nightmare would end.

"Get off of me!" he cried, yanking himself from the shadow's grip. He collapsed to the floor, curling into a ball. The disgusting swashing of blood and mushy flesh slopped closer. Closer. Closer. He could feel it's disgusting, sweaty tongue rolling across his back. He felt darkness consuming him, and he immediately invited it. Anything to get out of that Hell.

* * *

"Our son is crazy," Soichiro ran his trembling fingers through his hair.

Light lay on the couch, finally sound asleep after hours of struggling and hysteria. Sachiko curled against her husband, pressing her cheek against his neck.

"I'm glad you got here when you did," she muttered. "And I'm glad Sayu is at her friends house. I was going to go get her, but I knew somethin' was wrong with him the minute I saw him. Soichiro, it was horrible. He came in the middle of the night, babblin' 'bout some sort of blood house. He kept beggin' me to stay away from it. I thought he was just delirious from travelin' for so long. But...that ain't it, is it?"

"No," Soichiro bowed his head, nestling his nose against his wife's hair. It smelt like fresh bread and milk; he always loved how her hair smelt.

Home was much different than that terrible house he'd been living in for a few weeks. The place was haunted; maybe not with ghosts, but there was something in the air. L had shown he was the most sensitive to it when he had had that panic attack. Ever since it happened, the boy had become more disheveled each day. His mind seemed fine, but his body was acting stranger than normal. He had become nearly white and his black eyes dulled to a soft gray. Even his lips became oddly cracked, as if he were dehydrated constantly. In fact, Soichiro constantly saw him downing some sort of liquid, trying to quench some unexplainable thirst.

But, Soichiro was thankful L let his off first. Otherwise, poor Sachiko would have had to deal with Light all by herself. Plus-she didn't know Light's secret. Soichiro gazed at the murderer sleeping peacefully on his couch. The body no longer belonged to his son. No, his son died a long time ago. Whatever inhabited now was a sick, disgusting monster. Soichiro fought the urge to toss it from the room.

Suddenly, Light whimpered in his sleep. A name escaped his lips: "Lawliet."

"He still thinks about him?" Sachiko muttered, her voice coated in sorrow.

Soichiro had heard the name slide from Light's tongue many times in his sleep, especially when Lawliet first left. They would wake up to L's name echoing throughout the house. The thing on the couch, although he wished it weren't, was still his son. But, something was wrong with Light's brain. He decided he would send a message via morse code as soon as possible. L promised he would send Watari to check the town to see if there were messages every day.

Soichiro stood up. It was better not to wait. He glanced down at his broken wife. She still looked beautiful, even though grief consumed her. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

He sighed and began to tell her all about his job and how he worked for Lawliet on the Kira case. He left out that Light was the prime suspect, of course. As the story progressed, Sachiko began to look ill. She stopped him and begged him to run and get Lawliet. Soichiro kissed her forehead and promised he would hurry back.

When the front door closed, Light immediately sat up. His soft, brown eyes lit in a furious frenzy.

"Light?" Sachiko whimpered.

"Yes, mom." His voice was disgustingly monotone.

"Are you okay?"

Suddenly, he shielded his eyes and lay back down on the couch. "I think I need some more medicine," he finally said.


	29. The Welcoming Comfort

The violent outburst was the last straw.

The Yagami household awoke in the middle of the night by loud crashes from the kitchen. Soichiro ran out, his gun faithfully locked in his hand. He crept towards the kitchen, afraid to scare to perpetrator. There was another crash. In one swift motion, Soichiro stepped into the door frame and pointed his gun at his son. Light was hunched over his knees, crouched on the floor. His hands clasped against his ears and his eyes locked shut. Fragments of ceramic plates surrounded him.

Soichiro's presence immediately grasped Light's attention. His wild brown eyes traced his father from his toes to the top of his head. His lips turned a sickening white as he pursed them.

"Get up," Soichiro demanded, no longer able to stand the pathetic excuse pretending to be his son.

Light's knees wobbled as he stood up straight. His arms lolled at his sides. Those cold, brown eyes pierced through his father, threatening him to instruct him again. Soichiro wasn't impressed, though. In fact, his eyes had fell from Light down to his son's feet. The only thing he could think about was his poor wife having to clean up the mess. He turned to leave his son. Bare feet pattered toward him. Something sharp dug into his shoulder. He grunted and grabbed a hold of Light's ear. The boy cried out as Soichiro yanked him off his shoulder. The new wound stung.

"Light, what's wrong with you, son? You ain't the smart, charmin' kid I used to know."

The desperation in his voice didn't surprise him. He wanted Light to be innocent the moment he became a suspect, but after seeing the state of his son, there was no doubt in his mind. He couldn't figure out how to deal with his feelings. Light was his son, but a ruthless, insane killer. Soichiro only hoped it was all a nightmare.

Soichiro clutched his bleeding shoulder with one hand and the crazed Light with his other. Suddenly, the rage in Light's face was washed away by serenity. "Father," his voice was unpleasantly calm. "I ain't gonna listen to your condescendin' speeches no more. You ain't been through the shit I've been through. I'm constantly surrounded by death, drowin' in blood, but you just observe. How would ma feel if she found out her husband was a coward? What 'bout Sayu? Hell, I know and I'm embarrassed to no end."

Soichiro stopped himself from punching his son. A mocking smile spread across his disheveled face. Blood dripped from the corner of his mouth. Instead of reciprocating, Soichiro grabbed Light's wrists and threw handcuffs around them.

Light didn't struggle, at least until Soichiro tried to bring him to his room. He suddenly began to howl. His eyes lit in a furious frenzy. He collapsed to his knees, growling and snapping if Soichiro tried to grab him again. He yanked at the handcuffs, attempting to pull his hands free. When he realized it was no use, he threw his head back and a sickening gurgle echoed from his throat. His animalistic behavior drove Soichiro to lock him up in the barn.

When Sachiko tried to protest, begging her husband to find their son help, Soichiro only replied, "We'll wait and see what Lawliet has to say."

For days, echos of Light's cries and hysteria could be heard across the ranch. Sayu would come into her parents bedroom at night, crying from the horrendous noises that kept her awake. Every night, she would curl between them and press her head against her mother's chest, wishing Light's suffering would end. She had only seen him a few times, but from the look in his eyes, she immediately observed he was in terrible pain. She never told her mother, though; she couldn't bring herself to utter the words.

The knock on the door Sunday evening was the relief the Yagami family had been waiting for. Soichiro opened the door. Watari stood stiffly in the door, his eyes grew solemn when he greeted Sheriff Yagami.

When Soichiro asked the man of a few words where L was, he simply replied, "he is resting in the wagon."

Soichiro, along with Watari and Sachiko, headed to the awaiting wagon. Sheriff Matsuda and Deputy Mogi were sitting in the back with Lawliet, who was sprawled out on the floor. The only part of his body with any color were his flushed cheeks. His chest heaved as he desperately gasped for every breath. Soichiro jumped into the wagon and pressed his hand on Lawliet's burning forehead. His eyes shifted from each face until they fell on Sachiko.

"Mrs. Yagami," he muttered. "It's nice to meet you."

Tears brimmed in her eyes as he smiled weakly at her. Soichiro had explained earlier that L was hiding his identity, but she couldn't help but compare his false naivety with Light's sudden delusions and memory loss.

"Help me up, Matsuda. Where is Light now?"

"L, I don't think you should be gettin' up. You can barely breathe," Soichiro said.

L ignored him and grasped Matsuda's shoulder. "Where is Light?" he repeated.

"In the barn," Sachiko answered. "Please, you gotta help him. I don't know what to do with my own son!"

Her plea silenced the others' protests. Soichiro scooped L onto his feet and helped him off the wagon. L leaned on him, limping as they headed towards the barn. Only Sachiko and Watari followed. The closer they got, the more L weighed Soichiro down. Outside of the barn, he suddenly fell limp in Soichiro's clutch.

"Lawliet?" he asked, bringing the boy slowly to the ground.

His head was pounding. He grabbed his hair, yanking, wishing the pain would cease. Pain and agony swirled around his head. He moaned softly as his body buckled from the pain. Suddenly, a cry for help came from within the barn. The begging became more frantic as Sachiko struggled to open the door.

"Stop!" L shouted, clutching his aching head. He choked and gasped for air, but his lungs refused to respond.

"He's turning purple!" Sachiko gasped. The shrieks from inside the building grew. Her fingers immediately fumbled at the lock again.

Someone was lying him down. He tried desperately to keep his eyes open, but his vision was clouding. His body was finally totally betraying him. Something pounded on his chest. It only made the lack of oxygen more prominent. Was this how he would die? He suddenly regretted everything. What would he die for? For justice? The boy he once loved sounded like he was in just as great pain as he was. His hysterical cries grew louder, smothering any other sounds. His torture was not justice; it was insanity.

'I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Light,' L thought.

The lock fell from the barn handle. The door cracked open. The screams enveloped L, dragging him into a dark, fiery abyss; one he had feared his whole life. He tried desperately to struggle, only to find his body was paralyzed. This was the end. He closed his eyes and faced his fears. A hot hand wrapped around his stomach and dragged him into the Earth.

Suddenly, he could move his fingers. His toes suddenly obliged to his brain's will. Pain coursed through his body as he struggled to get up. Soichiro helped him to his feet, asking if he was alright. L shrugged off the question and headed towards the black, open door. Light's pleas had ceased.

"Light?" Soichiro called when he and L entered the dark cavern. "He's chained up, so you ain't in no danger."

"Thank you, Soichiro."

Soirchiro led him blindly through the darkness until he could hear haggard breathing. L leaned against the barn wall, struggling to stand. A new sensation escalated from the bottom of his stomach. A strange, worldly desire yanked at his thoughts, twisting his stomach into knots. Suddenly, he caught a whiff of Light's familiar scent. He hadn't realized how close he was to his old friend. The smell drove his stomach into a frenzy. It bubbled and screamed, begging for something he always ignored.

"Lawliet," a cool, familiar voice sang in the dark. "Lawliet? Where are you hidin'? You come to me, expectin' me to be frightened, but I already know you ain't real. If you're gonna keep playing tricks on me, you might as well continue now. I ain't gonna stop you; I'll just sit back and watch. You can't show me somethin' I haven't seen yet."

Silence. The words clawed at L's brain. What did Light mean he was playing tricks on him? Was it possible Light was speaking to an apparition of Lawliet? The Lawliet Light spoke to had long disappeared.

"You keep attackin' me, but you ain't gettin' scarier. No, now I know you're just an empty shell. You keep playin' dead, and I'll start playin' with you. Then neither of us can claim victory. We shared everythin', Lawliet. Come to me, we can play in the fountain. Stop hidin', and come face me."

A figure appeared in front of Light. It's distorted movements were those belonging to only one hallucination he'd grown oddly fond of. Lawliet's joints cracked as he stepped towards him. His jaw frozen open, hanging towards the left. His eyes had been gouged out, and two hollow holes were left. Light smiled, content his speech had worked. Only minutes ago, the apparition had attacked him and, when he tried desperately to ignore it, he felt it's teeth sink into his skin over and over. It was only after it disappeared into the darkness that Light realized his foolishness.

As the figure drew closer, another figure stepped in it's shadows. It had the same silhouette as Light's last apparition, except this Lawliet seemed more composed. Movement obviously pained him, but this figure had it's eyes and it's lips were closed. The realistic Lawliet standing before Light frightened Light more than anything he'd seen before.

After his dreams of Lawliet ceased, he had never been able to picture the boy again. But this figure matched perfectly what Light believed Lawliet would look like. It even maintained the same scrawny figure. It sunk to the floor in front of Light, staring intently at him. Light's stomach jumped into knots.

"Wh-what do you want? You ain't nothin' like I've seen before. Hell, you look like an angel compared to what I've seen." A lump formed in Light's throat. "Come to take me away, angel Lawli? It's my turn to die, I guess. Suppose that means your dead too. After all the effort i put into fixin' the world, I guess early death should be my only reward. Anything to get out of this damn barn."

Light was silent for a moment. "I guess I'm glad it's you comin' to get me, and not some white-robed stranger. Though I wish it didn't mean you were dead, too."

"I'm not dead," Lawliet struggled to maintain control of his weakening voice. "You speak as if I'm a ghost standing before you, yet you do not fear me."

In the wagon, the anticipation for seeing Light had wrangled his brain. A part of him wanted desperately to see the boy, but his feelings were not important. He was _afraid_ to see Light, afraid to see what his best friend had turned into. And the maniac in front of him was worse than what he expected.

"'Course I'm afraid," Light admitted. "Wouldn't you be if I suddenly appeared before you? I kinda wish I did go first, though. That way I could've seen what you've been up to all these damn years. It got hard when you left, Lawli. I could barely think straight. And after what happened to me, after that disgustin' monster-"

Light stopped himself. A low growl vibrated deep within Light's throat. "I don't want you here, you ain't the real Lawliet. The real Lawliet would have apologized by now. Hell, I figured the real one died years ago 'cause he just never came back. If you were the real Lawliet, could you explain why you left me alone? Did I do somethin' to offend you, or make you think I didn't want to help, 'cause that was all I wanted, Lawliet; to help."

He suddenly started to laugh. The eerie sounds pounded at L's aching ears. His headache split his brain, tossing it's fragments around the barn. Light didn't seem to notice, or at least was indifferent towards, L's pain.

When his horrendous laughter died down, he spoke again. "Lawli, I know this thing ain't you. You're too quiet. You were always quiet, but you loved talkin' to me. I know you did. I always made you laugh. Didn't I make you happy, Lawli? Oh Hell, I don't know why I'm asking you. You're just a figment of my imagination, come here to torture me some more. There's no way I could be dying, I don't feel bad enough for that. It's just my mind hasn't been functionin' properly. I have to distinguish the difference between reality and hallucinations constantly. This one makes the least sense."

"I'm not a hallucination, Light," L assured him. He turned to the three others standing around. "Can you please leave us alone?"

Soichiro tried to protest, claiming L's health was an issue. L ignored his pleas and sent the three off.

"You know you ain't in your right mind when your hallucination is trying to comfort you," Light suddenly muttered to himself.

Light finally fell silent, finally allowing L to examine him. He looked almost exactly the same, except he filled out nicely. His neck was wider than L remembered. His movements, however, were a stranger's. L figured it was the madness. He moved mechanically and quickly. His eyes were what changed the most, however. They had once been full of aspirations, dreams, and hope. Light now shared the same eyes as a man who had been let down all his life, constantly tossed between the world's vicious waves until he couldn't stand it anymore. Whatever happened to him over the past few years made him give up.

"Light, are you Kira?" he asked softly, wondering the reaction he would get.

"You know I am. We talked 'bout it in my dreams, remember? It's why you said you couldn't stick 'round. Even my subconscious Lawli don't wanna be around me. You said you were L, that detective whose been after me." Light let out a, "hah", only to fall silent again.

L tried to take his confession with a grain of salt, but how did Light know he was L? And he vaguely remembered a similar dream where he had told Light he could no longer see him. His heart suddenly spazemed and he clutched his chest, trying desperately to ignore the pain.

"What, now?" Light rolled his eyes. "You're tellin' me my hallucination feels pain?"

"I'm not a hallucination," L repeated. "Light, I'm here because you've lost you're mind and I want to help you. Just take one moment to look at me. I'm not a hallucination."

Light obediently examined L. His large, swollen eyes and chapped, thin lips were nearly perfect to Light's memory. The desperation in Lawliet's eyes, though, was something new. Maybe it was the reason he clutched his chest. Light reached his chained hand out, his fingertips brushed against L's hand.

Just like that, L's pain ceased. Light yanked his hand away, staring at his fingertips as if they'd been burnt. Electricity shot through their bodies, seizing their anguish, fears, hesitations, regrets, and packing them into nothingness. Wiped away from any emotions that separated them, they gazed at each other with new eyes. Light could suddenly think straight and truly examine the man sitting in front of him. Lawliet.

The next few moments were indescribable. Opposed to any doubts the two had about their feelings for one another, they were sent into fits of pure ecstasy. No, not ecstasy-Rapture. Light reached a trembling hand towards Lawliet, tracing the contours of his hollow cheeks. His fingers sparked and ignited his heart. Lawliet embraced the touch and gazed longingly at the boy he'd loved all his life.

Why had he been fighting himself? Because Light was Kira? His body urged him that that no longer mattered.

"Lawliet," Light whispered.

"Yes?"

"This can't be real." Light pulled his trembling fingers from Lawliet's cheeks.

Lawliet didn't answer, but only slinked his hand on the nape of Light's neck.

The moment seemed to last an eternity. Everything in Lawliet's body ached for Light's touch. Light's constant buzzing thoughts suddenly quieted, leaving only acceptance for the desires. It frightened Light, but in ways unimaginable. The oppression of his yearnings only enraged them until he felt they were about to explode. His entire life had led up to that moment: Lawliet's flee, the monster's violation, Misa's death, Kira's birth. His past no longer mattered; it was just him and Lawliet.


	30. Natural Instincts

**A/N:** This chapter is rated **M**.  
Read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

"Why did you come back?"

The question surprised Lawliet; he had forgotten he ever left. Time disapproved their reunification. It clenched it's long hand into a fist, but never touched them. It twisted through the gap separating them, arguing as they began to ignore it. With one single smile, Lawliet flicked the protesting time away. "Does it matter?"

Light joined Lawliet's rebellion. "No."

Light's skin tingled at Lawliet's touch. He embraced normally uncomfortable knot in his stomach. With Lawliet, he was whole. He forgot the man his past molded him into. Four years became four minutes. Lawliet may have changed, but Light only saw the boy he knew so well. They talked for hours, engulfed in conversations about anything and everything. Lawliet even gained back the natural accent he practiced hiding for years. Never once did they mention their separation.

"There's somethin' that's been troublin' me."

"Need me to beat someone up for you?" Light joked.

"No, it's nothin' like that," Lawliet chuckled. After a pause, he touched the chains on Light's wrists. His finger ran across the cool metal, then grazed Light's open hand. He began to trace the intricate lines on his palms. Straying from the original conversation, he asked, "Did you know I could read palms?"

"Really?"

"Yes, it's quite easy actually." Lawliet began to study Light's palm, tracing his finger across each line over and over. A puzzled look appeared on his face. "You're fate line is the most prominent I've ever seen besides-"

"Besides?"

"Mine." Lawliet held up his hands for Light to see. He pointed to a long, deep line that crossed head, heart and life.

"What does it mean?"

"Fate has complete control of your destiny."

Light shuddered, unsure if he liked the sound of that. If fate controlled his life, his free will didn't exist. Lawliet compared their palms, studying each line intensively. "I don't understand," he murmured. "This is impossible. Our fate lines are identical."

"Maybe it means we just have similar fates?" Light chuckled. "Besides, it's all bullshit anyway. You know there's no such thing as fate. Now will you lay off this gypsy shit and tell me what's been botherin' you?"

Lawliet's eyes raised to meet Light's. The odd silence clawed at the back of Light's neck. Before he could say anything, though, Lawliet placed his fingers on the nape of Light's neck again and drew close to him. So close, in fact, that his lips met Light's. Light's eyes widened, and he immediately retracted from the kiss.

"Wh-what are you doin', Lawliet?" he stuttered, inching backwards.

Lawliet crawled towards Light. Light struggled to figure out what had gotten into Lawliet, but it didn't matter; he was trapped between Lawliet and the wall. Lawliet pressed his lips against Light's again. Light couldn't bring himself to reciprocate, until Lawliet's fingers slinked between his. Lawliet pushed Light's hands against the wall, above Light's head. He straddled him and pulled his mouth from Light's. His soft breath tickled Light's cheek.

Suddenly, it all made sense. The realization, itself, was unexplainable, but the kiss felt so incredibly natural that it _must_ have been fate that brought them back together. The past few hours had been too miraculous, especially considering the confusing emotions Light built up towards Lawliet; the resentment for leaving, the anguish to see him again, the yearning to touch him. The dreams, the desires, the turmoil, they dissolved when Lawliet kissed him. Fate did exist. And it grasped Light and Lawliet in it's sticky fingers.

Light glanced up, meeting Lawliet's large, black eyes. The destiny that linked them together, the naturalness of their unity, sent shivers down Light's spine. Lawliet's presence, his kiss, filled an emptiness Light struggled with for years. A part of him desperately wanted to ignore fate's overwhelming demands, but he couldn't.

He parted his lips and turned his head up towards Lawliet's. Lawliet immediately understood the indication. Beads of sweat ran down Light's neck as Lawliet's tongue grazed his own. Lawliet's grip tightened on Light's as he pushed his body closer. His ribs prodded Light's skin. Light freed one hand from Lawliet. Animalistic instincts kicked in. With a single motion, Light tore the shirt from Lawliet's body and dug his nails into the taught skin on Lawliet's back.

Lawliet broke the kiss. Even with the immense passion that flooded through his body, his eyes barely revealed anything. It didn't bother Light. He pressed his lips onto Lawliet's neck and traced his vein with his tongue. He moaned as Lawliet's fingers fumbled at his belt line. Anticipation exploded in Light's stomach.

The moon disappeared behind a cloud. Darkness engulfed the barn as they stripped each other, exploring ever inch of their bodies. When the pale orb peaked to catch a glance of them, it's pasty rays illuminated Lawliet's ghastly flesh. Light traced his creamy skin with his fingers, admiring Lawliet for a moment.

With a small grin, he looked Lawliet in the eyes and said, "I love you. I always have."

Light smothered Lawliet's lips before he could respond. He already knew how Lawliet felt; he always knew. They sunk into each other, fulfilling their natural destiny. Light lay Lawliet's fragile body upon the hay and positioned himself on top of his new lover. Lawliet's chest rose and fell. He leaned forward and locked their lips together again. Light moaned as he entered Lawliet. Lawliet never made a sound.

The raw, pure intensity ignited. Fate brought them together for a reason. It intertwined their lives, manipulated their every move, so their union would be possible. Fears and doubts washed away, drowning in the promise of what would come of their love. The past erased itself; the future became bright. Time no longer fought them. The final explosion validated the importance of their reunion.

Light sat against the wall, resting his head on the wood. Lawliet pulled his pants back on and took the seat next to Light. They sat in silence for a long time. Finally, Light turned to Lawliet and ran his fingers through the raven black hair. "Shit, Lawli, I never thought this would happen."

Lawliet was quiet for a long time, pondering about the affair that had just taken place. Light's cheeks glowed in the moonlight, flushed from exhaustion. His eyes shimmered; he was completely content. Yet, Lawliet couldn't bring himself to accept the overwhelming peacefulness that pulsed through his body. What had happened was led only by pure lust and desire. He was foolish for thinking he ever loved Light. Light was a murderer. The only logical reason for the sex was that they'd never had closure. Their friendship ended so abruptly, and the instincts were just unfinished business.

Finally, he spoke. "It's L."

"What?"

"My name is L," was all L said. He stood up, dusted off his pants and left the stunned Light behind. L could never love a murderer.


	31. The Morning After

**A/N:** Seriously, poor Light. Anything good always ends so abruptly and horribly for him.  
The dream you're about to read may seem like it adds an explination to a lot, which I guess does. But, keep in mind that it is only grazing the tip of the iceberg.  
Read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

_Light fingered leaves from a the weeping willow surrounding him. He peeled the curtain of green open and smiled to himself at the view. Green shoots of what Light figured was grass covered the floor. He placed his bare foot on the carpet. Dew squished between his toes. He had never seen a meadow before, but he'd read about them. Words did no justice to the scene before him. The sun's rays ignited the grass around him. Petals on flowers shimmered, swaying happily in the warm breeze. Light took a deep breath; the air was so refreshing. _

_The willow waved good-bye as Light began to explore the garden. So this was paradise. He climbed over a hill and met a sea of green. His heart fluttered at the sight. A large tree was perched by the bottom of the hill. A man sat under it, leaning his back against the trunk. His nose was buried in the book he was reading. Light headed in his direction._

_"Hey," he called out. "What are you reading?"_

_The man looked up. He had solemn gray eyes and deep frown lines wrinkled around his lips. He couldn't be over twenty-five, yet Light sensed a strange, old wisdom radiating from his body. The man chuckled and tossed the book aside. "Aw, hell, I wasn't readin'. It kinda just fit in with the scenery."_

_Light smiled and took a welcomed seat next to the man. "What am I doing here? Don't tell me I'm dead, 'cause this ain't what I pictured my eternity to look like."_

_"No, you ain't dead. Take a breath. You still feel your lungs, right?"_

_Light did. He smiled, adoring the serenity of this place. "So if I ain't dead, I must be dreamin'. But I ain't never seen you before, so who the hell are you?"_

_"First of all," the man grinned. "You ain't dreamin'. Well, sort of. I can't really explain it, cause I don't get it much myself. Believe me, I've been tryin' to understand it for years now. And second, I think you may know who I am."_

_He glanced up and suddenly, above his head, a red 'A' appeared. Light gazed at it, puzzled for a moment. "A. A. Kinan?"_

_"Bingo," A winked._

_Light knew he should have been more concerned by the fact that the bandit his father had killed before he was born was popping up in his "dream", telling him it wasn't a "dream" and grinning like a damn idiot at Light's confusion. But, he wasn't. In fact, he was surprisingly happy to talk to A. He never had a desire to ask the man questions, and he rarely even thought about him, except when he was mentioned. So why was he suddenly so excited that he had the chance to speak to him? _

_"Why am I here?" Light asked. _

_"You're here 'cause you did somethin' that ain't never happened before. I guess you got whoever the Hell controls this damn business all riled up. I can feel his excitement bubblin' in my bones, can't you?"_

_Light chuckled. "You're tellin' me God brought me here?"_

_"God?" A laughed. "God's got _nothin'_ to do with this. In fact, he kinda doesn't care too much for this whole business."_

_"What business?"_

_"What business?"_

_"What?" Light's eyes widened.  
_

_A suddenly burst out laughing. "You gotta do me a favor. Stick with Lawliet, no matter what happens. If you don't, you'll be lettin' down a whole lotta people."_

_"What the fuck are you talkin' 'bout?"_

_"He's your other half, Light. He's got what you don't got. And you got what he don't. One soul was split down the middle, and you two are it's reminents. Get it now?"_

_"We're soul mates?"_

_"YES!" A jumped up, throwing his hands above his head. "Soul mates! That's a perfect way to describe it! Although, it don't mean you guys are supposed to fuck all the time. Holy Hell, I don't care what you do though. Fuck his brains out for all I damn care. Just make sure you keep a good relationship with him."_

_Light flushed and glanced down at his hands. "What if he don't want to?"_

_"Well, you tell him to pull his head outta his goddamn ass and take a fuckin' look around."_

_Suddenly, the serene scene dissolved around them. Walls towered above them, hiding their location. __The tree was replaced by the strange, eroded rock. No water trickled down it. Light licked his lips, suddenly incredibly parched. A smirked, his own lips suddenly cracking. _

_"I bet it tastes real damn good."_

_"What?"_

_A patted the rock. His fingers traced the strange symbols and he finally sighed, glancing up at Light. "This whole business of life, Light, ain't what you think it is. You ain't who you think you are. People don't come in fragmented souls like you and me did. I had another half, too. 'Til I killed him. I couldn't stand the wholeness he made me feel. Prevented me from doin' what I wanted. So I took a gun and shot him in the head. After, I kinder lost my mind. For three years I killed and fucked anything I wanted. You know Beyond, right?"_

_Light could barely respond. He managed to cough up a, "yeah", but after comprehending everything A said, he came to an unsettling realization. _

_"He was probably 'bout nine when I met him." A's expression became unreadable. "I screwed him. Ain't that the most fucked up thing you ever heard? My thoughts kinder cleared up when my other half visited me in a dream. Your father caught me 'cause I wanted him to. I couldn't stand what I had become. I couldn't stand the monster I had made Beyond. Poor, troubled Beyond. He just wanted someone to tell him it was okay, that his hatred was okay. But, instead, I fucked him. I-"_

_A fell silent. He crouched down to his knees and pressed his temples with his palm. Light grew nauseous and immediately dashed away from A. He bent over and threw up. This man, this despicable being who lost his mind and raped a child, lived in Light. He thrived in Light, searching for the other half he had lost. He turned to face A, only to find himself sick again at the sight of him. _

_"Why me?" he finally asked._

_"You? 'Cause you were supposed to know you're other half. Our other half."_

_"Why?" Light shrieked. "Why the fuck did I get stuck with you?"_

_"Not just me," A murmured. "Don't let what happened to me happen to you, Light. Stay by your other half's side. Love him, as you did last night. Continue to. Together, you two will change the world. But you can't do shit alone."_

* * *

Light snapped awake, the sun blinding his eyes. He processed the dream and suddenly found himself sick. After wiping the puke from his lips, he glanced around at the barren barn. It must have been false. How could he trust a ruthless killer's words? How could he trust a dream. He shrugged it off, deciding he was overreacting. After all, A' was probably nothing more than Light's psyche trying to make sense of last night's beautiful insanity . It didn't matter. Besides, he had a lot more to worry about. Namely that Lawliet was L.

But, a part of him had known that. It had come to him in a dream. He nearly mocked himself, wishing he would stop thinking about dreams in this crisis. L knew his secret. In his insanity, he confessed he was Kira. L knew his secret, yet he still slept with him. Light pulled his knees to his chest, bashing the back of his head against the wall. Last night was a terrible misunderstanding. Everything he felt was so unrealistically natural. Lawliet must have felt it too, then decided it was just lust.

But it wasn't just lust. There was something greater. Even now, Light felt more intact than he ever had. Everything became much clearer, as 'A' claimed his other half made him. There had to be a way to show Lawliet that last night was true, not just two people using each other for pleasure.

There had to be a way to avoid the punishment he was about to receive. L knew he was Kira. He would be hanged if he didn't convince L otherwise. And, if L knew he was Kira, why did he sleep with him? Light placed his chained hands on his head.

The barn door suddenly opened. Sachiko walked in, gripping a Light's breakfast tray. When they made eye contact, he smiled softly at her. "Hey ma," he said.

As she got closer, Light immediately noticed her eyes were swollen and red. She placed the breakfast tray next to Light and took a seat in front of him. "Good morning, Light," she tried to smile. Her lips quivered and fell again.

"Ma, what's wrong?" Light already knew the answer. L revealed Light's confession to his mother. Light bowed his head.

"I've been up all night," she sighed, avoiding the truth. "I wanted to make sure you and Lawliet were aw'right. Lawliet came back in a couple of hours ago, and he's been talkin' to your father and the people he brought with him since."

"'Bout what?"

She avoided the question. "I think the governors gonna come over tomorrow. We gotta keep you in here, though, Light, on account that you..."

Her silence tormented Light. The truth, his alias, hung at the tip of her tongue. "I'm what?"

"You aren't in your right mind," she mumbled.

"I feel better, ma," he assured her. "After talkin' with Lawliet, it's like everythin's much clearer. I wanna apologize for the way I acted, I couldn't control myself. I though everythin' was fallin' apart, but I guess it was just my mind."

She stood up, brushing hay off her apron. The governor was coming. Namikawa informed Light that L worked closely with the governor. His appearance was not a good sign for Light. Sachiko left the barn without another word. Light rattled his chains, yanking desperately at the wall. He stood up, expelling all his energy into freeing himself. He moaned and collapsed to his knees, realizing it wasn't enough. He was trapped in the barn as they decided his fate on the outside.

What was his 'A' talking about? Lawliet wasn't his other half; he was his nemesis who would bring Light's demise. Light sighed, wishing it weren't the case. A few hours of happiness was all he would receive, though, after years of torment and agony. And now, that pleasure ended.

He would die, and Beyond would continue to run around, killing whomever he pleased. He never had the chance to kill the bastard when he didn't need him anymore. 'A's' words suddenly struck his memory. That sick fuck. Light suddenly became incredibly nauseous again. He pushed the breakfast tray away, unable to look at the food. He reminded himself over and over it was just a dream.

'But what if it wasn't?' he thought. 'What then? Will my fate be the same as A's other half? Lawliet will be the reason I die. Then what will become of Lawliet?'

Light closed his eyes, wishing Lawliet would come back. But, it was too late. Light would never find his Lawliet now.


	32. The Verdict

**A/N:** This isn't the most exciting chapter, heh. But, as always, necessary.  
Read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

The rest of the task force arrived a few days after Light and L's encounter. Even Matt tagged along. It was a solemn reunion, for they had to debate their friend's son's future. The evidence prominently marked Light as Kira: The confession, the timing, Matt's witness. Even his temporary insanity linked him. However, they had to decide whether he went on a murderous rampage cause by the insanity, or if he was just a murderer.

The governor would soon come to choose Light's fate.

On the arrival of the task force, L was locked in his room. He already knew the outcome before the debate started: Light would be hanged. The governor didn't tolerate any sort of crime, even those against criminals. If Light actually was crazy, which L doubted, he would still be killed.

"L?" Soichiro knocked on his door.

"Come in."

Soichiro stepped into the room. Matt trailed behind him. A cigarette hung from the corner of his mouth. He nodded at L, who smiled at the boy's presence. He'd grown fond of Matt at Beyond's house, mainly because Matt understood how disgusting and sick Beyond was. L never mentioned he knew Beyond, but he spoke as if he'd learned much about him. Matt would spill information about him, all which L already knew, but he was grateful for the effort.

"The rest of the task force is here, in case you wanna come down." Besides the grief that lurked in his eyes, Soichiro's expression was unreadable.

L stood up, suddenly dreading the conversation that would happen downstairs. "I'll be there in a moment. Please give me a moment alone with Matt."

Soichiro nodded and left the two alone. Matt pulled the cigarette from his lips and tapped it onto the ashtray he held. "Good to see you again," he grinned.

"If given the chance, would you bring Mello to justice? If given the chance, would you judge that Mello should receive the death penalty?"

"Are you askin' me if I'd kill Mello?"

"Not kill-"

"And use justice as a smokescreen?" Matt snorted, taking a long drag from his cigarette. "In my eyes, there ain't no difference between murder and the 'justifiable' death penalty. If you're tryin' to decide whether to kill Light or not, you shouldn't be askin' me. It makes no difference to me whether he dies or not, as long as I don't gotta be the one to decide. But, consider this while you're debatin' whether or not you should take his life: He wondered the same thing 'bout all his victims."

L gazed at Matt, surprised by the honest answer. "You would never kill Mello? No matter what the situation was?

"Hell no I wouldn't. Goes against my morals. 'Sides, I love the sorry bastard," Matt suddenly became quiet. He shifted his gaze from L to the floor. The cigarette perched between his lips burned slowly. "There ain't nothin' beneficial 'bout killin' someone. It'll only destroy your conscience."

"I suppose so. That's a very interesting point, Matt. Thank you for you're honest outlook."

L walked pass Matt, more conflicted than before. Murder was against his morals, as well, but he had done it before. Besides, L didn't love Light like Matt loved Mello. L knew if Matt was given the chance, he would throw everything away for Mello's happiness. His choice to give Mello's name was not out of spite, but rather hope. Matt had told L that he wanted to save Mello from the destructive path awaiting him. He sacrificed his relationship with Mello to make sure Mello's soul was saved. Once Mello had been caught, Matt vowed to fight for Mello's case and make sure he wouldn't be hanged. His loyalty never failed to surprise L.

Downstairs, no one looked up when L walked into the room. He sunk into a chair, cradling his knees to his chest. Almost immediately, Watari brought a slice of cake to L. He took it gratefully and shoveled it down his throat. Whispered words were exchanged between those around him. Still, no one seemed to notice his presence. At least, until Soichiro looked up from the floor and smiled solemnly.

"When did you say the governor was going to get here, Ryuzaki?" he asked.

Suddenly, the crowd's attention turned to L. "The earliest is tomorrow.."

"And is that when we'll know what's gonna happen with Light?"

"There's a 36% chance, if we can come to an agreement. If not, the governor will stay until the decision is settled."

"Why 36% chance?" Matsuda blurted out.

L began to explain the dynamics that involved in the decision. There were several things to consider: biases, sense of justice, moral views, personal attachments. Reaching a verdict would be much more difficult, since it affected several of the members on a personal level. The members nodded in agreement, and decided to view Light's case on an impersonal level. Soichiro left the room without another word.

The next few days came and passed. L revealed that his name wasn't actually Ryuzaki, but in fact he was L. Most rolled of the members rolled their eyes, claiming they already knew. Only Sheriff Matsuda was (openly) suprised.

Soichiro no longer voiced his opinion and instead stayed close to his wife. When the argument whether Light should be hanged or not was mentioned, Sachiko would flee the room with tears in her eyes. After a while, she stopped listening to the conversations.

Day three of the discussion, there was a knock on the door. Sachiko opened it to a tall, lean man with a sharp gaze and feathered black hair. His boots were polished and the hat perched on his head was made of black leather. The expression on his face was grave, laced with sincerity. He was poised and held himself with a certainty that had been lacking in the Yagami household recently.

"Hello, ma'am. I'm assuming you're the keeper of this house, Sachiko Yagami? My name is Teru Mikami. May I come in?" his dialect was fluid and his educational background was obvious.

"Yes, come in. It's nice to meet you Governor Mikami," she bowed deeply and opened the door wider. He stepped in, followed by his complete opposite.

The little boy was about ten years old, maybe younger. His hair was paper white, matching his pasty skin. He slouched when he walked and, unlike his father's obvious determination, he seemed indifferent to his surroundings. He twiddled his hair around his index finger. He looked up, his eyes immediately falling on L.

"And what's his name?" Sachiko asked, trying to force a smile.

"This is Nate," the governor tousled his son's hair, immediately receiving a glare. He ignored his son's spite and smiled at L. "It's good to see you again, L."

L remained planted in his chair, but nodded towards the governor. Nate crossed the room and tapped L's leg.

"Yes, Nate?" L peered down at the boy.

"Dad says you're gonna kill Kira. Want to see my new toys?"

L nodded and allowed the child to drag him from the house to his trunk filled with toys. He introduced each toy to L, giving him a brief background before he placed it neatly into the line of toys he'd already showed. L found his attention wandering from the strange boy to the barn across the ranch. A light flickered in the window. A shadow passed by. For a moment, he caught a glimpse of Light's haggard face. A pit rose in his stomach.

"Why do you keep looking over there?" Nate asked as he began to pack his toys away.

"Kira's in there."

Nate gazed at the barn. "Bring me to him."

"Nate, I don't think your father would like that."

Disregarding L's comment, Nate headed towards the barn. L never dealt with children, especially not kids like Near. He followed Nate and, once they reached the door, placed his hand on Nate's shoulder. "This isn't a good idea, Nate."

Nate ignored him again. He yanked the barn door open. Light was leaning against the wall, staring blankly out the window. "Kira," Nate said. "What are you looking at?"

Light shifted his eyes from the window, to Nate, and then to L. After a moment of silence, he answered, "The moon." His eyes never left L's. From what L perceived, Light felt no resentment towards him. In fact, there was a distinct longing in his gaze that sent L's stomach into a fit of fury.

"So you're admitting you're Kira?"

"I've been branded as him, so yes, I'm Kira. Do you know my real name, kid?"

"No," Nate shook is head. "I don't want to know it. You are Kira, and that's all."

Light's gaze fell to the floor. Moon light circled around his body, engulfing him in a pasty ring. It was the first time L had contact with him since the incident. His body twinged, begged, twisted, calling for Light's touch. _Screaming_ for it. L clutched the door, desperately trying to contain the rising anguish.

Light suddenly stood up and rattled his chains. "L, could you take these off for me? I ain't gonna go anywhere, and they've been diggin' into my wrist. If you're gonna kill me, can I at least live the rest of my days in some sort of comfort?"

"I can't do that, Light."

Light shrugged. "It was worth a try. Did you reach a verdict?"

L backed to the door, unable to stand the tension struggling in his body. "No. Good night, Light."

"Wait, L," Light called, sinking back to the floor. "Sit with me."

Against his better judgment, L took Nate's hand and led the boy to Light. Nate walked right up to Light and leaned close, examining his face. "You don't seem like a murderer. But, father always taught me looks are deceiving."

"Yes," Light sighed. "Like an annoyingly frigid man trapped in a little kid's body, tryin' to hide behind the innocent face. Too bad the eyes tell all."

Nate stiffened, but immediately shrugged and turned his back from Light. "I'm going to go back to the house, L. I will see you there."

And they were alone again. L crouched on the floor, pressing his thumb on his lips. They stared at each other for a long time, studying the real results of the four year time lapse that passed. That night, the excitement of their reunion sent L's brain into an intoxicating state. Now, he expected it and subdued the feelings. Light's eyes had grown weary from the constant destruction surrounding his every day life. His lips were chapped and his fingers were long and skeletal.

"When was the last time you ate?" he said as his eyes wandered to L's body.

"Eighteen minutes ago."

"What did you eat, a leaf?"

"A slice of cake. Why, are you hungry?"

"You're emaciated. Christ, Lawli, have you looked at yourself in the mirror?"

L winced as the name passed Light's lips. It was no longer who he was, and the fact that Light referred to him continuously in an endearing way made everything quite frustrating. He demanded Light refer to him as L, instead of Lawliet. All Light responded was, "But Lawliet's your name."

"Good bye, Light," L stood up.

A hand immediately seized his wrist, sending his body into another spasm. He turned to face Light, who was now standing besides him. Without another word, Light wrapped his arms around L's waist and kissed the detective. L buckled at the touch. His lips trembled, desperately yearning to kiss him back. His reason fought his desires and finally, he broke the kiss and left the barn.

Inside the house, Soichiro greeted L's entrance. L didn't respond as he headed towards the room the task force and the governor were located. Silently, he took a seat and listened intently to the conversation. He spoke up only when it was necessary, pointing out some of their logical errors, or throwing down points that would help the decision. All the while, Light gnawed at the back of his mind.

Even after L betrayed him, Light still seemed to love him. Unless it was an act. L's head buzzed as he tried to decipher the kiss, the sex, and the emotions that had been produced from the both. How could Light still feel anything toward him after L revealed his identity? He was the detective trying to catch and stop Kira. The last kiss must have been a trick. Lawliet rested his lips on his thumb, unaware of the question directed his way.

"L?" someone said. "What is your final conclusion?"

L looked up, catching the governor's eye. "Hm?"

"What do you propose we should do?"

The contemplating had to end. He couldn't stand the conflicting thoughts and feelings any longer. He took a deep breath, suppressed the anger building up for the decision, and said, "Since we know Light is Kira, and we know what Kira has done, the only logical thing to do would be to condemn him to death."

Sachiko, who had come in just to bring a tray for tea, cried out in anguish and fell to her knees. Soichiro immediately ran to her, wrapping his arms around his wife's shoulder. She sobbed and looked straight at L. "Who do you think you are comin' into my house? You _raised_ the boy you're 'bout to kill. He loved you, he trusted you and you're just gonna let him die! I just got him back. I just got my Light back...you want to take him from me again? You did _nothing_. You ran off and broke my son to pieces. He's not in his right mind, but you're still gonna kill him? You're a disgustin' human, you're worse than Kira! At least he didn't follow justice like a damn blind dog. If you're gonna kill him, I never want you back in my house again."

With that, she stood up, composing herself. Her eyes scanned the room. The members bowed their heads, staring solemnly at the floor. She turned on her heels and fled from the room, Soichiro close by her side.

"You knew Light since he was a baby?" Matsuda suddenly broke the silence.

L didn't respond, too stunned by Sachiko's words to think properly. Matt stood up from his chair and left the room.

The announcement's drama didn't phase Governor Mikami as he pulled papers from his breast pocket. "Alright, each of you will need to sign a contract of silence to protect the name, 'Yagami', at Soichiro Yagami's request. Light's name will not be released to the public, nor will it be known that Kira was caught. He will simply vanish. Kira will be hanged tomorrow after sunset, as to avoid any spectators. Does anyone have any questions? No? Perfect, then please sign the papers and I will take my leave."


	33. The Ambush on the Gallows

**A/N:** God I literally went on a writing binge today.  
So this will be the last chapter for today.  
Read, review, and enjoy!

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The crisp, night air was bittersweet. The procession of people walked in silence towards the gallows. Only a few held torches, casting shadows stretching far into the night. Light walked near L, wishing his last moments weren't approaching so quickly. Lawliet barely looked up from the floor, obviously determined to hold his composure. Behind them, Sachiko sobbed softly into her husband's cradling hold. The warm desert breeze whipped through Light's hair.

Light glanced at L, trying to decipher the boy's unusual expression. His lips parted as he gazed intently at his feet. Light opened his mouth to say something, then immediately closed it, deciding it was no good. His death was decided, and there was nothing he could do but accept it. It was difficult, though. He didn't want to die, not yet.

Sheriff Yagami led Light up the steps. His fingers trembled on his son's arms. "Light," he muttered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Light said. "It was my fault. I'm sorry, dad, for everythin' I put you, ma, and Sayu through. I should've wrote. I should've come home."

His father didn't speak as he wrapped the noose around Light's neck. He stood over the trap door, gazing into the crowd watching silently. His eyes fell on L. All the immense passion he felt for him suddenly surged through his body. His last image would be of the boy who broke his heart twice watching him with a ghastly indifference. Light whimpered, wishing things had turned out differently. A. Kinan had only been a figment of his imagination. Otherwise, he would have had the chance to reconcile with L. He hung his head.

"Do you have any last words?" Sheriff Yagami choked as he approached the lever for the trap door.

"Don't do this, dad," Light suddenly found himself begging. "C'mon, ma, tell'em it's wrong. Please! Someone! Dad, ma...Lawliet. Lawliet, you gota stop this. Look at me! I'm seventeen fuckin' years old, I got so much to look forward to. Don't just fuckin' kill me, please!"

Tears poured down his cheeks as he continued to beg. Sachiko wailed, turning her back from his view. All eyes fell to the floor, except L's. He stared emptily up at Light, lacking any remorse or regret. He looked at Soichiro and nodded the okay.

"No, no, no, no!" Light begged. "Don't dad, stop! Lawliet, please!"

Suddenly, a mocking voice called from the night. "LAWLIET, PLEASE!"

Light froze, immediately recognizing the voice. "Oh Lawliet!" it called again.

L suddenly grabbed a torch from Deputy Mogi's hand and stomped it out. "Put out your torches!" he demanded. Matt threw down his torch, panic stricken. Everyone immediately followed.

The darkness blinded L, but at least it meant the ambushers couldn't see them either. "Come out, Lawliet. Come out, let's play a game. I have so much fun when I'm with you."

L shivered, pressing his back against the gallows. He hadn't heard that voice for a little over a year, yet it's unique, cool tone haunted L's memories. He gripped the gun at his side, straining his ears to figure out Beyond's location.

"What's going on?" Matsuda whimpered and was immediately hushed.

Beyond's approach was imminent. L's head immediately buzzed with ways to get them out safely out of the situation, but he couldn't think of anything. Between the patter of feet and Beyond's incredible hunting skills, running would do them no good. Beyond had the fastest hand when it came to shooting L had ever seen, so there was no way they could kill him without casualties. L's hairs stood on the back of his neck as Beyond called out for him again.

Something had to have been done.

He climbed up onto the gallows and immediately responded, "Why don't you come here?" The wind howled around him. He suddenly felt a hand grip his wrist. He jumped and turned, placing his palm on the hand to see who it belonged to. Light. Apparently, he had swung his bound hands to the front of his body.

"Lawli, you don't know what you're gettin' into," he voice was barely audible. "I sure as Hell don't know why he's callin' your name, but he wants _me_. I ran from him and I'm sure he ain't too happy 'bout that."

"No," L muttered. "He _does_ want me. Let him take me, Light."

"No," Light whimpered. "You don't know what he'll do to you."

L placed a quivering hand on Light's. "Yes. I do. Come on, Beyond, I'm waiting. What have you got to show me? Another one of your boring tricks?"

A shot rang out in the dark. Someone groaned and a heavy thump was followed. "Deputy Ukita!" Matsuda cried out. "Oh God, someone help! He ain't breathin'!"

Immediately there was bustling in the darkness. L tried to protest to the noise, but found his body betrayed him again. He sunk to the floor, completely petrified. Light was suddenly by his side. His bound arms wrapped around L and silenced his muffled cries. He grabbed him and brought him onto all fours. Instinctively, he enveloped his body over L's to protect him.

Another shot rang out. Another thump. "Ide!" Sheriff Aizawa whimpered.

They stood around, waiting for the next shot to hit them. Soft sobs echoed from the group. Whispers were exchanged. Once more, Beyond called out: "Lawliet! They didn't hit you, did they? Oh, I hope not."

The voice came from behind. L snapped his neck around, only to have a figure lunge toward him and Light. Just like that, the ambush began. Screams erupted from the group as figures grabbed them from the darkness, silencing their cries. Light yanked L away from the silhouette perched on the gallows. He immediately recognized the hunched over look: Beyond. Beyond cackled and got on all fours. He slammed his palm on the wooden boards, the sound echoed across the chaos.

"Lawliet, I know you're here. Say something, let me find you." The shadow groped in front of him, approaching Light and Lawliet. Light clutched Lawliet tighter, pressing their bodies against one of the walls. They sat for what felt like hours as Beyond searched in front and behind him, finally discovering their location. He jumped at them, his face meeting Light's boot. He cried out, wriggling in pain on the floor.

"Let's go," Light grabbed Lawliet and dragged him from the confusion.

Matt glanced around, dodging any one who approached him. The darkness made it nearly impossible to see, but at full alert, he could hear them and almost make out their silhouettes. He ducked each attacker and headed for the black abyss. Once he got away from the commotion, he would be safe. A pang of guilt hit him, but he ignored it. There was nothing he could do. As he ran, he suddenly collided with another person. The person yelped and, before Matt could do anything, a gloved hand wrapped around his neck.

Matt immediately recognized the scent.

"Mello," he gagged.

Mello's fingers suddenly trembled and he immediately pushed Matt off of him. "Matt? You-you traitor," Mello howled. "What the Hell are you doin' here? You ran from me and went straight to L, you pathetic piece of shit? I'll kill you!"

Screams echoed around Matt as Mello lunged at him, knocking him onto the floor. He straddled his ex lover, the hold on Matt's neck tightened. A cool metal grazed the side of Matt's head. Matt froze, wishing he could find the right words to soothe Mello. But, Mello no longer loved him. Soft wisps of his golden hair grazed Matt's cheek. Mello's haggard breath tickled Matt's cheek. He smiled softly, memories of their love suddenly flooded back to him. Matt closed his eyes and only said, "Don't do it, Mello. I don't want you to do anything you won't regret."

A long, mangled cry bellowed from Mello's chest. "Who do you think you are talkin' to me like that? You ain't nothin' but a damn traitor to me."

"I'm sorry you think that, Mello," Matt muttered.

The cool gun suddenly left Matt's head and Mello stood up, his boot pressed against Matt's chest. Even in the blinding dark, Matt immediately recognized Mello was crying. His body wracked as soft sobs escaped his lips. He spit on Matt and too off. Matt lay in the darkness, listening to the dying chaos. The screaming turned into silence. Were they all dead? He buried his head into the dirt, listening desperately for any sign they were alive. There was only one voice he recognized.

"Where the FUCK did he go!" Beyond shouted. "Aren't you idiots supposed to be guarding the perimeter? Yet, you lose _both_ Light and L? I thought this was going to be nice and easy, yet you let them escape."

Beyond stood up, slamming his fist against the gallow's only small wall, where Light and L had been hiding moments ago. It was the first time Matt heard Beyond angry. His voice slithered like poison from his tongue and his tantrum was one of an insane man's. He bellowed, howling directions at several men to find them. Matt knew it was his time to leave. He got up and started to run, stumbling from the fright.

As he ran, he heard Beyond's last words: "Find them! Once you do, bring them to me. Do _not_ kill the one with the black hair, or you will die as well."


	34. Growing

**A/N:** I know, I know, it's been a while! But, I haven't forgotten, Ive just been sort of...putting it off. Besides being super busy, I've sort of found myself on a chapter I'm not thrilled to write. I wrote it twice so far, hated it, blahblahblah. Anyway, I decided I'm going to take a different approach to this chapter. It's kind of short, but whatever, I needed to start it somehow heh. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

The mixture of shock and the wound imprisoned him in the seemingly unending sleep, or so Light believed. Every day, he would press his palm against Lawliet's forehead, only to feel the same clammy skin every time. Sometimes, if it was a better day, Lawliet whimpered softly or flicked his finger. Those were the days that gave Light hope.

"Son," the doctor's voice echoed from behind him. Light swiveled his head. "It's time to go to bed. It's past three in the morning."

Time sped up when they were together, even when Light only watched him. Light grazed his fingers against Lawliet's cheek and whispered a soft, "good night". He dreamily wandered to his room, wishing he could stay up all night and guard his friend. He hadn't heard his voice since he attempted to distract Beyond. The impulsive move attracted the attention of another man, who pointed his gun towards the sound and fired immediately. Luckily, Lawliet gripped the wound; Beyond wasn't able to track his blood.

It had only been a week since Light fled with Lawliet curled against his chest. He had no other choice. What good would they be if they remained in the town? They would have only waited for their fate, like the others. A chill of shot down Light's spine as he wondered if his parents were dead. Or bait. Whatever Beyond wanted from Lawliet, he sounded desperate. There was nothing Light could do for now, though. He just had to wait until Lawliet woke up.

Light crawled onto his bed and tucked himself neatly under the covers. When Lawliet awoke, he could write to the governor and send for help. Of course, time was becoming an issue. For all Light knew, everyone was dead. The chill shot down his spine again. In an attempt to forget, Light focused on the soft features that mounded Lawliet's face; his pointy cheeks, his large eyes, his skinny nose, his raised eyebrows. On paper, Lawliet wasn't attractive, but there was something so extraordinary about his appearance. Whatever it was, it captivated Light. Even his thin, emaciated body called to Light in an indescribable way. Although, since Light first saw Lawliet again, Lawliet gained a few pounds. In fact, he looked much healthier with a bullet in his shoulder than when he was considered healthy. But, that was Lawliet; full of surprises. A small smile danced across Light's lips as he drowned himself in thoughts about Lawliet. Soon, he became drunk with sleep and dozed off into a comforting darkness, cradling him from all he had to deal with.

The next morning, the sun's rays burst through Light's window. His eyes flickered open as his head suddenly began to throb. He wiped his mouth, unbelievably parched. But, Lawliet was more important than his hydration. He could grab a glass of water at the bar anytime.

"Great," he mumbled as he swung his legs to the floor. After a few moments of waiting for it to subside, he decided he'd rather wait by Lawliet. The room was, surprisingly, empty. Normally a nurse would stop by in the morning, while the doctor slept. Light smiled to himself as he took his normal place by Lawliet's side.

"Good mornin', Lawli," Light grazed his fingers along the top of Lawliet's hand. "I just woke up. I know, it's kinda late, but I went to bed kinda late. I couldn't leave your side last night, I dunno why. I tried several times, but whenever I got to my room, these crazy pains of need would jolt up. So I stayed up extra late. Guess it was all for nothin'."

Lawliet's finger suddenly twitched. Light gazed at it, hoping (once again) that it meant Lawliet's eyes were about to open. But they didn't. Light sighed softly as he leaned back into his chair. "Guess I don't know what to say today. I didn't have any dreams last night. I just wish you'd hurry and wake up already, on account that we got people to save and all. I can't plan it by myself. No one would trust me. I guess I don't blame 'em."

Lawliet's lips remained frozen as Light continued to talk. Once he started, he could never stop. He figured Lawliet might wake up if he heard a constant familiar voice, reminding him he had a home. After a few hours, Light's eyes grew weary. He curled into his chair with his fingers wrapped in Lawliet's.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. Light snapped awake and yanked his hand from Lawliet's. "Come in," he muttered hoarsely. He really needed that drink.

The doctor walked in, followed by his usual nurse. Light knew what their entrance met, so he immediately left. Downstairs, crowds of people filled the saloon. The amount of people was peculiar so early in the morning. Light squeezed between a large, tan man and a skinny, angry fellow at the bar. They didn't seem to notice his intrusion as they downed drinks. Before Light could ask for anything, the bartender, Aiber, brought him a glass of water.

"Hey, Aiber, what's going on?" Light shouted over the crowd around him to be heard.

Aiber shrugged; a confident smile planted itself on his face. "Hell if I knew. I've been hearin' talk 'bout some sort of danger, so people are migratin'. But, we face danger every day, right? I ain't gonna leave my bar. I'll kill the bastard who tries to take it," he chuckled and poured Light another glass. Light immediately emptied his cup.

"You sure are thirsty today," Aiber poured him another. "I mean, normally one glass is fine. You been sleepin' okay? You got some bags."

"Yeah," Light murmured and took as sip from his newly filled glass. "Trouble is, Ryuzaki ain't wakin' up and we're runnin' out of money."

Aiber laughed and patted Light's arm. "I ain't gonna kick you out on the streets while he's recooperatin'. Although, you might have to share a room with him."

A strange sensation swelled in Light's chest. He immediately suppressed it and thanked Aiber softly before he wandered back to his room. What danger was approaching? The insane amount of people in the saloon hinted this danger might not be just a rumor. And there was no doubt in Light's mind that Beyond was behind it. Something had to be done about the bastard. Kira may be the people's only salvation. But what would Lawliet think?

Light paused outside of Lawliet's room and pressed his ear against the door. The doctor's voice was muffled, but Light could distinctly make out a few words. Mainly, "never wake up". Light sunk to the floor as his heart dropped. Lawliet couldn't die-there was so much to be done. Light couldn't defeat Beyond alone. If Lawliet died, his only hope would be pleading to Governor Mikami for help.

If Lawliet died. Before he cold stop himself, Light burst through the door and grabbed Lawliet's warm, stiff body. "Wake up!" he cried out, shoving the doctor off as he tried to pull Light away. "Come on, Ryuzaki, I know you're stronger than this! Wake up!" Silence met his pleas. "Leave," Light demanded. The doctor and his nurse immediately obeyed.

Light gazed at Lawliet's frozen face. His small lips parted so perfectly. His chest raised softly. Light lay his head upon it, listening to Lawliet's heart beat. There had to be a way to wake him. He wouldn't watch as Lawliet met death.

Suddenly, a strange force pulled at his chest. The soothing sound of running water rang in his ears. He licked his cracking lips and immediately began to pack the medications on Lawliet's stand into his satchel. He gazed down at Lawliet and grazed his fingers against Lawliet's cheek. Lawliet didn't stir. The anonymous force yanked at his body, calling to him. He scooped Lawliet up and fled from the saloon before the doctor could stop him.

"Thanks, Aiber," he called on his way out. "I'll back to see how you're doin'."

Light propped Lawliet on the horse and jumped behind him, holding him steady. Without a clue where he was going, he blindly followed the force instinctively guiding him. He snapped his heels against his horse's side and they took off into the unknown desert.


	35. Imprisoned

"Fantastic," Mello mumbled as he peeled the bandage from his face. Beyond's impatience proved to be a bit too overwhelming for Mello's taste. And Mello was the king of impatience. He sighed as he gazed at the new scar strewn across his eyebrow. As if he hadn't looked monstrous enough already. He closed his eyes and threw his head back. He hated his reflection, ever since Light took it upon himself to ruin it.

Maybe it wasn't just his reflection. Mello stood up, teetering on his heels. Beyond left early in the morning, claiming he couldn't wait for L to fall onto his lap any longer. Good riddance. Mello needed a break from the constant whining. Beyond's obsession with L was anything but pleasant. He would be complaining one moment, angry the next. And somehow, Mello was _always_ in the way. If Matt were around, he wouldn't stand by and watch what Beyond did to Mello.

A pit formed in Mello's stomach. Matt would never come back, and Mello wasn't entirely sure if he wanted him back. Matt smothered his free will, constantly reminding Mello about morals. What did Matt know about morals, anyway? He always observed, never took part. Matt wasn't a murderer, unlike Mello. Matt only killed a few men, mostly because of defense. There was that one occasion, the only moment in Matt's life that he allowed his rage to consume him. Afterward, the goggles never left his face.

Mello glanced back at the mirror, staring at his reflection until he felt sick. Suddenly, the door swung open. Instinctively, Mello grabbed his gun and pointed it at the intruder. The gun slipped from his fingers. "Ho-how did you get in here?"

"It wasn't hard," Matt shrugged. "Seriously, I pretty much just walked in. Told the guys outside I was an old friend, thinkin' 'bout joinin'. You're surrounded by a bunch of idiots, Mel."

An unfamiliar trickle of laughter bubbled in Mello's stomach. He immediately suppressed it as his eyes wandered down to the gun in Matt's hand. "That's what I keep tellin' Beyond." He concentrated on enveloping his trembling voice. Reverting back to his confident self had become difficult recently, though. "You really gonna kill me, Matt? After I spared your life. Why are you even here?"

Matt shrugged and immediately placed his gun back in the holster. "Honestly, that was kinda just for the dramatic effect," he smiled softly. His eyes wandered above Mello's. Mello immediately covered the scar with his hand. His ex-lover had no right to storm in here, grinning like they were still close. They no longer recognized each other, but Matt seemed to ignore that notion.

"Why are you here?" Mello repeated.

"Isn't it obvious?" Matt cocked his head and approached Mello cautiously. Before Mello could avoid his touch, however, Matt grabbed Mello's wrists and drew him close. "I love you, Mel. I'm here to save you. What the Hell else would I be doin'?"

Mello tried to struggle from Matt's grip, but soon relaxed in his arms. Matt smelt the same. Mello smiled softly and pressed his lips against Matt's. "I guess I do need a bit of savin'," he chuckled when the kiss broke.

The throbbing pain above his eye woke him up. Mello snapped up, glancing over at Beyond's naked body sprawled across the bed. After he'd encountered Matt a few weeks ago, the taunting dreams tantalized Mello every night. This one, though, felt so real. He was sure Matt came back. He buried his cheek into the pillow. Their romance ended nearly a year ago, though. When he allowed Beyond to take him, Mello and Matt ended. They just didn't realize it for another few months.

He habitually traced Beyond's crooked spine with his index finger. The truth was, he despised Beyond, but Mello's feelings no longer mattered. He recognized the pathetic person he'd become, living in the shadows of a man so disgustingly terrible, but he stopped fighting it. Beyond placed a strange spell on him, full of an intoxicating lust that Mello couldn't resist. Mello pressed his lips against the nape of Beyond's neck.

"What are you doing, Mello?" Beyond groaned and turned over. "Is one night sleep too much to ask for?"

Mello's lips curled into a harsh frowned. His eyebrows furrowed. "What is it?" Beyond sighed. "Having one of your epiphanies again? I really don't care what you do Mello. I'll throw you out myself if you keep waking me up, though."

"Who the Hell do you think you're talkin' to?" Mello snarled, surprised by his own rage. "After all I do for you, you got no right to talk down to me. I ain't your bitch."

Beyond sat up, his eyes suddenly filled with a strange glint of empathy. "I'm sorry, Mello," he purred, wrapping his arms around the blond. Mello froze in his arms; Beyond always played sick jokes on him. "Really, I am."

Beyond's lips nestled on the crevice of Mello's neck. "I've just been so stressed out. You know, I just want to find L. That's it." Mello relaxed his frigid body and entwined his fingers in Beyond's hair. Before he could say anything, though, Beyond bashed Mello's head into the headboard. Mello cried out as Beyond dug his nails into his cheek. He tried to struggle, but Beyond's fist collided with the side of his head and Mello was out.

* * *

Soichiro's head lolled as his prison door opened. His vision faltered from the countless beatings; he was sure his eyes swelled shut. A familiar chuckle sent shivers down his spine as the door closed. "Sheriff Yagami, you're looking a bit weathered. How are you feeling?" Soichiro immediately sensed Beyond's pleasant mood, which meant twice the torment for him. Hands lay upon his knees. The stench of coffee and jam pierced Soichiro's nose.

"Answer me when I address you, Yagami. You know this by now," Beyond sneered.

"I'm feelin' fine," Soichiro growled.

"Really?" Beyond's laugh scratched Soichiro's ears. "Because you don't look fine. And neither does your wife."

A tear rolled down Soirchiro's cheek. The last he'd seen of his wife was when Beyond dragged her away, promising vengeance. Sachiko, fragile Sachiko, begged her husband to do something. But what could Soichiro do with his hands tied behind his back. He attempted to bribe Beyond, or trade his wife's life for his, but Beyond only laughed at the suggestion. From what Beyond told him, though, he kept Sachiko alive. Or maybe his words were part of the torment.

Soichiro had no clue where Beyond imprisoned his wife or Sayu. And, guessing from the amount of time that passed, Light wasn't coming back. Soichiro couldn't blame him; he nearly killed his own son. Maybe Soichiro deserved this torture, but neither Sachiko or Sayu did; they didn't deserve any of it.

A finger wiped his tears roughly. Soichiro bit his lip from the unbearable pain as Beyond dug into the bruises covering his eyes. "When I heard what you did to A., I figured you were a heartless man of little words." Beyond dug his nail into Soichiro's cheek. "I guess you're not as heartless as I assumed, but that's your disadvantage. A. should have ripped you apart. But, there comes a time for everything."

Beyond's nail sank deeper in Soichiro's skin and, suddenly, he yanked downwards, tearing open Soichiro's flesh. Soichiro groaned and hung his head, unsure how much more his body would tolerate. "Listen, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your daughter died last night. It was probably on account of the countless times one of her guards shot her in the chest. Probably. I mean, I told him to let her die slowly, but I guess he'd grown sick of waiting."

Just like that, one reason for holding on evaporated. Only his wife remained. But, the terrifying feeling that she wouldn't last much longer irked Soichiro. "You bastard," he growled. "A. Kinan deserved his fate; that's the difference between me and him. You deserve what he got. No, you deserve much worse. You'll burn in Hell for the agony you caused."

Beyond laughed callously. "Hell? The only true Hell that exists is our every day lives. Look around, Soichiro; they're full of death, destruction, sins, sex-" Beyond paused. "Hell, life doesn't sound too bad, does it?"

"It's not," Soichiro wheezed. "It's men like you who destroy anything beautiful in the world. Without you, humans could live in peace and the Hellish life you speak of would be closer to Heavenly."

"You speak like your son. His vision was to create an Eden utopia; the kind that could never exist, you know? Sin saturates human nature, and there's no escaping it. But, I could never resist a good adventure. And your son and I had a damn good adventure. At least, until he had an epiphany and decided he was too good for us."

So Light was trying to change. Guilt enveloped Soichiro's conscience. Beyond must have recognized it immediately because he added, "Light had a good mission, he just approached it wrong. If I had the analyze the situation, I would say it was either daddy issues or something traumatic scarred him. Alright, I know the truth; it's the latter."

Soichiro panted, trying desperately to maintain his composure. The new wound throbbed on his cheek as Beyond continued. "You see, after you're son decided to take on the world himself, he was captured and held prisoner for only one day. But, in that day, one of his captors proceeded to-" a small chuckle escaped Beyond's lips. "Fuck him until he couldn't breathe. Mello, the blond kid with the sour attitude, he and his friend found Light the next morning. Apparently, he was a disaster. Then, of course, _someone_ killed his wife and kid. Want to know a secret?"

Soichiro couldn't bear to hear anymore. He tried desperately to drown the story out, but it tore his heart apart. If only he'd known what happened to Light; he would've helped him somehow. Light became crazy with vengeance, though.

"No?" Beyond sighed. "Well, I'll tell you anyway. I killed her. And burned Light's house to the ground. I was going to kill him, too, until I realized I could use him to get to Lawliet. And it almost worked."

Suddenly, something bashed against the wall. Soichiro stiffened in his chair, immediately recognizing Beyond's violent rage. He'd witnessed it several times over the past few days-weeks. Soichiro couldn't keep count. Without another word, Beyond left the room. Tears immediately streamed down Soichiro's cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Light," he murmured.

Just as the pain sedated Soichiro into a heavy sleep, a gun's explosion yanked him from the moment of peace. He struggled, forgetting his prison for a moment. As soon as he realized his hands were tied, he sighed and hung his head. Another gun shot. He glanced toward the window to search for the source, only to remember he couldn't see. Another shot, and another. Shouts echoed from outside. A woman screamed. What the Hell was happening?

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry about the whole Matt coming back being a dream heh...I know, what a tease! But I hope you enjoyed this chapter and there will be more to come soon. Reviews are appreciated, as always.


	36. Hell

Light's body grew heavy with exhaustion. He yanked his horses reins and hopped off, guiding Lawliet's fragile body with him. The moon hung above their heads, gazing solemnly as Light ran his fingers through Lawliet's head.

"I don't know where I'm takin' us, Lawli, but you're gonna be alright," he whispered. Although Lawliet's face was barely visible, Light could make out his small, parted lips and suddenly he had to resist any urge to kiss him. He wouldn't take advantage of Lawliet while he was in this condition. If Lawliet desired him, he would express it when he awoke. Light smiled softly and leaned against the rock behind him.

Without warning, the rock shifted and broke off behind Light. He nearly toppled backwards. The rock fell down, banging against some unknown wall. "What the Hell?" Light murmured. He backed away and felt out in front of him. Sure enough, his hand met empty space; they were on a cliff. He peered down into the darkness, wondering when they'd reached higher ground. During the day, there had been no valley next to them.

"Hello?" Light called. His voice echoed, "hello!" back. The unknown vastness below bothered him, but sleep was more important at that point. Light propped his head against his satchel and curled up, placing Lawliet's head on his chest. He licked his lips, suddenly overwhelmingly parched.

After an hour of lying down, completely awake, Light sat up and grabbed his canteen. He took a sip, but it didn't quench him. He took another and another. Nothing helped. He wiped his mouth and propped Lawliet up. When he stood up, his vision suddenly swirled and the darkness consuming him became sequences of blues and purples. They swirled around him, gripping at his hands and tickling his ears. Light shut his eyes, only to find the colors invaded his eyelids. He stumbled backwards, collapsing to his feet. Even through the strange, unexplainable change, his tongue swelled from thirst.

He trembled as he tried to reason. The colors, the way they danced, were unnatural. And in his head. Was he losing his mind again? He reached for Lawliet's silhouette, which was just a dark outline. The boy was oddly cold to his touch. Suddenly, the colors vanished.

"La-Lawliet?" he whimpered, placing his hand in front of Lawliet's mouth. A soft breath tickled his fingers. If he wasn't dead, why was he so cold?

Suddenly, Lawliet began to convulse in Light's arms. His head bucked and his fingers trembled. "Lawliet!" Light cried out, desperately trying to sooth him. Even in the dark, Light watched, horrified, as blood leaked from Lawliet's mouth. What had he done?

The same force that led him here suddenly yanked at his chest. Light desperately tried to ignore it as his hands pumped Lawliet's chest. After a few times, he realized it was no use. He should never have taken Lawliet from the doctor's care. Trembling, he stood up and cradled Lawliet. He pressed his lips onto Lawliet's cool forehead as the boy shook in his arms. From the moment he met Lawliet, Light should have known his destiny didn't consist of saving Lawliet. They were rivals, in fact-but they were so close as children. A tear rolled down Light's unexpected cheek. Confusion babbled at his brain. And that odd force wouldn't quit.

What was the use of fighting it? Lawliet would be dead soon; Beyond probably wiped his family out. Light had nothing left to live for...no cause, no person...nothing. He shut his eyes and began to walk with his nose nestled in Lawliet's hair. Each step he took led him farther into the darkness. After a few minutes, he realized he was headed down into the strange valley. The journey was short, but seemed a lifetime with his weary legs. All the way, Lawliet's life faded.

Just as he reached the bottom of the cliff, the sun's fingers reached across the sky. The blue-gray of dawn illuminated the place they ended up; a long, deep valley, which looked as dead as the rest of the desert. Dawn crawled across the walls, revealing deep grooves eroded into the walls. Strange, familiar markings caught Light's eye. He's seen them so many times before. He grew nauseous as he approached the marks. The ground in front of the wall was hollowed out and looked almost like a dried up pool. With Lawliet cradled in his arms, Light began to trace the grooves with one finger. Nothing happened.

He was going crazy. Dreams interrupted his reality. The valley couldn't have been real. He sighed and leaned against the large wall. His lips cracked as he smiled down at Lawliet. "I'm so thirsty," he murmured. "So thirsty." His eyes flickered close. He could no longer fight death, who had been waiting for him so patiently on the gallows. The unexplainable, wretched thirst prevented him from thinking properly, but he knew he was dying.

"Sorry, Lawli," he murmured.

A faint noise, like the rush of water, echoed through the valley. It sounded so soothing. Light smiled to himself as it got louder. Death came closer. When the drop of water his Light's cheek, he realized it wasn't death approaching. He glanced up, just as a ton of water poured over them. Light wrapped his arms around Lawliet as the cool, refreshing water consumed them. Just as he began to laugh, water shot into his lungs. He gripped his throat, struggling to breathe.

Suddenly, a hand gripped his arm and another wrapped around his waist. Then everything went black.

* * *

Light's eyes flickered open. A drenched Lawliet crouched over him. "Law-Lawli?" Light sputtered. "You saved me?"

"I'm not sure," Lawliet glanced around. As Light's eyes adjusted to his surroundings, he realized they were no longer in the strange valley. In fact, he couldn't tell where they were. Darkness enveloped the surroundings. The eerie feeling they weren't alone crept up in Light's spine. He sat up, facing Lawliet.

"Are we dead?"

Lawliet shrugged. "I'm not sure. I've been in this space for quite some time. There's nothing here; it's endless. So you're assessment that we're dead may be correct, however, why is it just us two? Also, I presumed death presented all the answers, yet I still have so many questions."

Light rested his hand on Lawliet's. "So you don't believe we're dead?"

Lawliet stared at Light's hand and finally retracted it. "I don't know what I believe. It's all very strange."

"Well, if you've been here for a while, then this can't be death. You were alive only a few minutes ago, at least until-we drowned." Light's gaze fell. "I'm sorry Lawliet."

"First of all," Lawliet sighed. "It's L, not Lawliet. I've told you this numerous times. Second, if we are dead, you have an eternity to make it up. Don't expect infinite 'sorrys' will fix anything."

Suddenly, Lawliet chuckled softly and stood up. His white body glistened in the contrasting darkness. "What's so funny?" Light asked.

"Just this. If we are dead, I'm stuck for an eternity with a murderer who's apparently in love with me and is apologizing about God knows what. Apparently, death sees us as equals, Light. That's why we're stuck together. I can't argue with death's decision because I won't make much of a difference. Did you attempt to repent? Is that why we're equals?" The small smile perched on Lawliet's lips faded as he finished his words. "I would never think I deserved this."

Unsure how to respond, Light remained completely silent, gazing up at Lawliet. He never tried to repent, only save the man he loved. Lawliet's deduction that they were equal was wrong; Light's knowledge of love trumped Lawliet's sense of justice. Light understood passion and learned that when it ignited, nothing stood in it's way. He recognized that human change was inevitable and embraced who he became. Then, when it didn't work out, he attempted something else; he never sacrificed happiness or love, not like Lawliet. And if that made Lawliet a better person in Lawliet's or anyone's eyes, Light was content with being the lesser man.

"I've walked most of the time, searching for a way out," Lawliet glanced over his shoulder. "But there's nothing except eternal darkness."

"Huh," Light suddenly spoke.

"What?"

"I'm so refreshed!" Light's fingers traced his lips.

"What do you mean 'refreshed?'"

Light stood up and stretched his arms above him. "The weight of the world is off my chest. I'm not thirsty, nor seein' colors Everythin' kinda just feels good, y'know? I feel like somethin' is puttin' the broken bits back together. I can't explain it Lawli, I just feel-"

"Whole," Lawliet interrupted Light.

Light nodded and muttered, "so you feel it, too?"

Suddenly, just as Lawliet was about to answer, a brilliant light illuminated next to them. Lawliet, whose eyes grew used to the darkness, shielded his vision as the brightness intensified. Then, something smothered it. A door appeared in it's place. Light and Lawliet glanced at each other, then back to the door. Light knew the door should have wracked his nerves, but instead he found himself strangely drawn to it.

"Sh-should I open it?' Light inched towards the door.

Lawliet shrugged. "Well it certainly won't kill us."

For a moment, Light's fingers lingered by the door knob. The door creaked open, revealing a dimly lit room with a man no over the age of thirty lounging on a chair. A fire crackled, snapping as Light and Lawliet entered. The man didn't acknowledge their entrance. Instead, his eyes remained locked on the book.

"Where are we?" Light asked the man. He didn't reply. Light turned his head, only to find the door they'd walked through disappeared. He shot Lawliet a quizzical expression and immediately stepped towards the man, demanding answers.

"Light, he can't hear you," Lawliet said.

Suddenly, the door by the man's chair swung open. He snapped his head, turning to face a furious A. Kinan. A's whiskers jutted in different directions and his hair was disheveled. His fingers danced by his holster. The man remained too calm. "Hello, A," he spoke. "What brings you here?"

"I think you know," A snarled. "I can't eat, can't sleep. I feel this incredible pain in my chest, and it only started happenin' after I met you. You gave me those damn pills, promised me it'd be aw'right. What did you do to me, Penbar? You poison me?"

Penbar stood up, placing his book on the arm chair. "I didn't do anything, A. You gotta relax, you know what the stress will do to you."

A's fist smashed against to the wall. Finally, fear struck Penbar's eyes. He immediately tried to cover it up, but as A. stormed towards him, there was no hiding it. "Listen to me, A. I didn't do anythin'. C'mon, A! You came to me for help, and I tried, I really did. I've tried for years to help you, but you're just gettin' worse and that ain't my fault. Look at yourself, A! Look what you're doin' to me. I thought we were friends."

The mouth of A's gun suddenly grazed against Penbar's cheek. Penbar swallowed, gripping his arm chair to hold himself up. "Friends?" A snarled. "I can barely stand bein' 'round you."

"Why? 'Cause I helped you? 'Cause I opened your eyes? A few months ago, you thanked me for everythin' I'd done. You said after meetin' me, the emptiness subsided!"

With a trembling finger, A cocked his gun. "Maybe I wanted to be numb. Thanks for leadin' me to that realization, Penbar."

Before Penbar could utter another word, A pulled the trigger. Blood splattered on the wall. Penbar's body lay in a heap. The gun slipped from A's fingers and he nearly lost his balance. After a few minutes of leaning against the armchair, he opened the door and left the room, leaving the echo of a chilling laugh.

Lawliet gripped the bookcase standing closest to him. His eyes widened as blood continued to spill from Penbar's head. "What just happened?" he murmured.

Light knew the story, already. He'd heard it in a dream a few weeks ago. His heart pounded in his ear as he patted Lawliet's back softly. "That was A. Kinan, the man my father hanged the day before I was born. C'mon, Lawliet, we should get out of here." Without another word, Lawliet followed Light from the room; his gaze never left Penbar's body.

The next room, however, clearly wasn't part of the house they had just been in. They found themselves in a dingy kitchen. A rat scurried by their feet. A disheveled man with brilliant green eyes walked through the back door, gripping his forehead. He moaned softly as he collapsed into an awaiting chair. Another man with short, blond hair followed shortly behind, taking the seat next to the green-eyed man.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, picking up the tea pot on the table. He poured it into a cup and pushed the drink over. "I know the migraines have gotten worse, but I told you it would take time."

"Time?" the green-eyed man growled. "Sometimes I think all I got is time, then I realize it's taken from me because I can't think properly. My mind clouds when I try to read, or listen, or even talk. Whenever there's a head ache, I get sick almost immediately. I can't work anymore. I don't know what to do. And-I always feel so thirsty, no matter how much a drink."

The blond nodded and poured himself his own cup. "Yes, I understand that. Too much salt in your diet, possibly?"

The green-eyed man glanced up at his friend, his eyes narrowing. Without warning, he lunged across the table and wrapped his fingers around the blond's neck. The blond attempted to throw him off, but the green-eyed man was obviously larger and tougher.

"Stop!" Lawliet cried out. He averted his gaze as the life slipped from the blond's eyes. The green-eyed man stared down at his hands, horrified by his actions. He stood up, trembling. As he ran out, Light caught a glimpse of blood trickling from his ear.

"I'm in Hell," Lawliet murmured.


	37. The Unreasonable

The pattern woven in the morbid viewings became clear immediately. The more they watched, the more they could relate. Each death was unique, each person was unique, yet they began to experience a strange sensation that they were all connected. L immediately picked up on another pattern: each man held certain characteristics. Some of them explained how they developed a certain wholeness, which was unfamiliar to them. They all hated it.

L hated it.

There must have been a reason someone presented these images. L began to take each trait, connecting one man to himself, and the other to Light. He had to keep himself busy; the deaths yanked at his chest. Besides, it was fascinating going back in time and observing the different scenery, clothing, and even people.

"Can you deduce why we're watching this?" Light asked.

"Because we have no choice," L answered as one man sliced another man's head off. The blood sailed through Light and L's intangible bodies. "There's a pattern which is much like our own: two friends turn on each other."

Light was silent for a moment. "I never turned on you, Lawli," he glanced over at L. L avoided Light's gaze. "Only one man turns on the other each time which, I'm guessin' is 'cause he feels a wholeness 'round the other man which he can't appreciate. Does that sound 'bout right?"

"It doesn't make sense, though. Why would you kill a person because they make you feel whole?"

"I was gonna ask you the same question."

Blood splattered on the ground as a knife sank into a man's gut. He sputtered, trying desperately to speak until his eyes glazed over. The other man yanked out his knife and covered his ears, moaning about a noise. He collapsed to his knees, rocking back and fourth, begging for quiet. L and Light continued to their next destination.

"Each time one man kills the other, the murderer seems to go through either mental or physical anguish," L observed.

He glanced over at Light, whose eyes glistened when they made eye contact. Immediately, L averted his gaze and focused on the new couple in front of them. If Light had been hanged, would L have experienced this pain? The physical pain, probably. When L journeyed to see Light again, his ears bled. It happened several times to countless men during the course of L and Light's viewing. When L and Light reunited, though, the sickness which plagued L suddenly disappeared.

The next destination stood out from the rest. A man with filthy brown hair sat against the wall of the cave; chains held his arms above his head. He mumbled incoherent words, babbling as another man with long, wavy hair walked in. The chained man glanced up with his solemn brown eyes.

"Don't you feel it in your bones?" he muttered. "I can hear it calling to me. No, not just me. For us. Can't we go? It will only take a few days. It will, I promise. Let's go tomorrow."

"Stop," the other man demanded. "I can't stand taking care of you; it's destroying my life."

The brunette muttered something about water, then glanced over at his captor. "Please listen. Too many nights, too long I spent here. Just let me out, and we'll go together. I'll be okay if you let me out. I promise I'll be good. We can go together."

The captor's fingers trembled as he brought them up to his mouth. With a harsh whisper, he said, "I'm sorry. This will be the last time I come. I hope you can rest in death." With that, he turned around and left the cave. The brunette whimpered and yanked at his chains.

"Come back!" he begged. "They stop when you're around! Come back!"

Light bowed his head as they traveled to the next shot. "I can't take much more of this," he muttered. "That man-Shit, Lawli, somethin's wrong with this-with us. A came to me in a dream, told me we were fragmented beings and after witnessing all this trivial violence, I think I'm beginning to understand."

"You're going to keep calling me Lawliet, aren't you?" L suddenly sighed. Light stared wide-eyed at him. His lips parted as if he were about to speak. When the next scene arrived, though, he closed his mouth and watched again as one man betrayed the other.

Again and again. Like Light, L began to reach his limit. He understood the basic concept, but he had to figure out why to fully comprehend what was happening to them. If the why never came, L knew he was in Hell.

Hours later, Light collapsed after they watched a man hack another into pieces. "I should have killed Beyond when I had the chance," he murmured as he rested his head against the wall. "I brought down powerful criminals, y'know those above the law. And Beyond surpassed any of those bastards I killed. He thoroughly enjoyed the chaos he created. Hell, he even had followers who adored him. Mainly it was the money, but Mello never should have stayed with Beyond. Mello wasn't pathetic before he met Beyond. He had power, and he enjoyed it. But, he also had Matt to keep him in balance. And I fucked it all up. I wanted to make the world beautiful, but I chose the wrong people to side with. I deserved to be condemned."

L crouched next to Light, tilting his head as Light gazed up at the open sky. A tear rolled down his cheek. L's extensive knowledge meant nothing as he watched guilt consume Light. He couldn't comprehend how such an evil being felt such remorse. When they were awake, Light made no attempts to repent for his wrongdoings. As L observed Light, though, an epiphany struck him. Light did attempt to repent. He rescued L out of pure love.

L shook immediately shook off the empathy welling up in his body. The only logical reason Light saved L's life was to trick L into believing Light changed and was actually a good person. L wouldn't fall for it.

"I'm sorry, Lawli," Light mumbled. "I never meant to drag you down with me."

If they weren't dead, then where were they? L never read about a out of body experiences in which a person constantly watched scenes of betrayal and death. Logically, this place didn't make sense. But it seemed to have a toll on Light. Light curled farther against the wall, tears continued to stream down his face.

"Somethin' ain't right," he whispered. "This place ain't normal. I stuck with you, like A told me-but I shouldn't have trusted that damn murderer. He was sick. He raped Beyond when he was only nine years old. Christ, Lawli, nine years old. I don't even think I knew what sex was when I was nine."

The final destination strayed from the pattern of the scenes before. They stood on a field, surrounded by men attacking each other. They swung their clubs and jabbed their crooked spears. Blood leaked around Light's and L's feet. The smell of rotting flesh pierced their noses. A spear flung through L's belly and he immediately backed away from the chaos. This war was the result of something-the result of a betrayal?

"I know this place," Light called to L over the bellows and war cries.

"Where are we?" L called.

"We're in the desert, before it dried out. This is the place I brought you! This is where that strange wall stands." Light pointed behind L.

Sure enough, a wall towered over the men, shielding the battle from the sun. However, it wasn't just a wall. Water poured from the top, splashing into the small pool at the bottom. L stepped toward it and placed his intangible hand under the water. He licked his lips, suddenly yearning for a taste of the cleansing water.

A man with a burly beard dragged another by the neck towards the fountain. He pressed his spear against the man's throat and uttered, "you shall never taste it again." He pierced the man's throat. Blood spat from the wound, drenching their clothes. Laughter bellowed from the man with the beard's chest.

And suddenly, the water ceased streaming from the top. The bearded man's eyes widened as he stared at the drying pool. "Wh-what?" he gasped. "How can this happen?"

Suddenly, darkness began to leak into the scene around them. It's crooked, rigid fingers consumed everything around them until only L and Light were left standing. "What now?" Light moaned softly.

A strange shimmer appeared in front of them. It expanded, swelling towards them. L immediately backed up, dragging Light with him. Winged shapes sprouted at it's sides and, finally, a monstrous creature stood before them. L immediately recognized the thing. A bandage covered one eye and tied around it's mangled lavender hair. It had long, crooked fingers and it's mouth twisted into a broken frown. Maybe this was all a dream. Light may have still been taking care of L, while L was trapped in this dream.

Light struggled to his feet and took a step towards it, admiring its wings. "You're not death," he said. "So what are you?"

The thing glanced from Light to L and spoke with a soft voice, "Actually, I was once death-A shinigami. But you may call me Rem."


	38. Sense out of the Senseless

**A/N:** Sorry (again) about the long wait and when I updated, then deleted...heh. Okay, read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

"Rem," L repeated softly.

His eyes narrowed as he examined the strange being standing before them. No trace of shock appeared on his face, as if he'd seen the creature before. As if they were old friends. Light bit his lip, suddenly realizing a troubling thought; he was more dumbfounded by L's reaction than the creature's appearance. It was as if he, too, knew the monster. Or at least expected it.

Rem raised it's solemn eye, meeting Light's gaze. "Have these visions struck your memory at all, Yagami Light?" Light shook his head. Rem turned it's eye to Lawliet. "How about you, Lawliet?"

"They are our memories? But that's impossible; these visions travel back to the beginning of man. Unless...Are you hinting reincarnation exists? That these are men we've been reincarnated from? And since you're showing us our past lives, our bodies must be dead. Our bodies became our prison, trapping us from the knowledge we'd apprehended in the past. Yes, that makes perfect sense."

Light sighed. "If Lawliet is correct, is this the end of the line? Is that why you're showin' us our past lives?"

"You two are getting yourselves worked up over nothing. You're bodies are not dead. You're not dead, either. However, I've brought you here to show you what you were. And what you can become."

Rem began to unravel the bandage from it's eye. The cloth crumpled to the floor and a gaping, black void gazed at them. Light tried to step back, only to find the void seemed to paralyze him. His strength wavered. Lawliet suddenly collapsed to his knees. His mouth gaped open and he spurted out a few groans. Light desperately tried to call out to him, but his tongue froze solid to the bottom of his mouth. His knees weakened. Suddenly, he was besides Lawliet.

A strange chill erupted from his core. It swirled through his body, seeping through his veins and skin. It was as if something was tearing him up from the inside, gnawing it's way through his body. A cry suddenly escaped his lips. Everything went dark. His senses failed him, except his hearing. Rem spoke softly as the hole burned through Light's body.

"You two are united by one factor: Me."

Light's body suddenly vanished. Lawliet no longer knelt next to him. In fact, Light and Lawliet no longer existed. They gazed at the odd, desolate world in front of them through Rem's eyes. It glanced around. Strange creatures walked around it, laughing and sneering amongst themselves. One of the Shinigami walked lazily toward Rem. A giant smile was plastered on it's face.

"Their playing with the new humans again."

Rem sighed softly. The dawn of man was nothing more than entertainment for the Shinigami's. Before it was necessary to absorb a human's lifeline to survive, humans were just there for Shinigami's and other god's pleasures. Rem headed towards a portal and glanced down. It wrinkled it's nose as one man's club tore the head off another man. The Shinigami's surrounding Rem laughed ferociously. Just play things.

A strange wave of sympathy simmered in Rem's stomach. The fact that human's only purpose was to serve as entertainment nauseated Rem. Of course humans were not on the same level as gods, but no creature deserved such torment. No creature deserved such a disgusting purpose. Rem knew what he had to do.

"Ryuk, I'm going to help the humans."

"Why?"

"Because I can. Will you help me?"

Ryuk snickered. "Now why would I do that?"

"What else do you have to do? Sit around and watch human's fight all day? Do you know what will happen in the next fight? One of them will die and blood will be shed. See, you don't need to watch because I just told you. Now, will you help me or not?"

"Alright, alright, you have my attention. What do you want me to do?"

Rem stood in front of a wall, carving an life preservation incantation into the rocks. Ryuk crouched on the cliff above Rem; it's red eyes glistened in the Earth's fiery sun. It waited until Rem finally glanced up and nodded. It pulled a vile it'd stolen from it's pocket and popped the lid open. Ryuk turned the bottle bottoms up and watched as the single drop of water rolled down and sailed down the cliff. As soon as it touched the earth below, right by Rem's feet, water spurted from the wall. A smile quivered on Rem's lips, but faded almost instantly.

The gods considered their actions treachery. Human's didn't deserve such a luxurious gift. Second chances didn't exist for them. The incantation Rem preformed was impossible to erase, but there were ways to manipulate it. Using their knowledge of human nature, the gods created another spell that stopped the fountain if blood was shed for it. And when that happened, the dry fountain would imprison Ryuk.

But Rem received the worst punishment of all. Since itwas the only Shinigami capable of destroying the gods' new spell, it would be trapped in two humans. The only way both Rem and Ryuk would receive their freedom, and the fountain would return to it's former glory, would be if the two human's united together and listened to the clues and instincts Rem provided them.

The gods considered this result impossible, though. The only time one man would feel complete was around another, which created a certain need that completely turned against human nature.

Light Yagami proved them wrong though because he did the impossible; he accepted he was incomplete without another man.

"Good-bye," Rem's distant voice spoke. "And thank you."

* * *

Light surfaced from the shallow pool, gasping for air. Lawliet immediately followed. Beads of water dripped down his nose as he panted, starring intensely at the water's surface. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Light touched his chest. The same feeling he had the first time Lawliet's lips brushed against his erupted in his body; wholeness. Rem's trap caused him, Lawliet, and all those before them, to suffer. But the curse, or whatever it was, finally broke.

Unsure what to say after the discovery, Light climbed from the pool and peeled his shirt off. The sun's burning rays immediately dried his chest. Lawliet immediately followed without uttering a word. They sat in silence, scorching in the unbearable heat. Light ran his swollen fingers through his hair as Lawliet pulled his shirt off. The bandages wrapped around his chest were soaked with water and blood. He began to unravel the bandages and froze as soon as he saw his wound-or lack there of. Only a scar remained.

"Law-Lawli," Light muttered, gazing in awe at the miracle. "Rem said the fountain cured ailments, but I didn't realize it'd heal you completely."

Ignoring Light's shock, Lawliet simply asked, "What day is it?"

"What?"

"What day is it?"

Light shrugged, "June 2nd, why?"

"I'm supposed to die today," Lawliet murmured. His gloom-full expression was suddenly replaced by a small smile. "But how could I even trust Beyond's words? He's nothing but a liar."

"How do y'all know each other? You and Beyond?"

Before Lawliet could answer, a strange shadow bubbled at the bottom of the pool. Instinctively, Light grabbed Lawliet's arm and backed away from the boiling water. Without warning, a creature suddenly rose. It's menacing grin revealed his sharp teeth, which gleamed in the sun. Light trembled, unable to speak. It was one thing to see the creature, who Light assumed was Ryuk, in his dreams and another to meet it in realty.

Ryuk's large wings spread as it stretched it's wings above it's head. It let out a satisfied moan and suddenly said, "You would think there would be enough room in that giant wall so I could lie down and get comfortable. But instead I've spent thousands of years curled up in a ball. Huh, before I was imprisoned, this place was a lot greener..."

As if it finally noticed Light's and Lawliet's presence, it turned it's head towards them and cackled softly. "So, you two must be the reason for my freedom. Yeah, I remember your face," it pointed at Light. "So you must have been Rem's body." Ryuk's eyes fell on Lawliet next. "And you must be it's mind. Yeah, you look like you haven't slept in years. It must feel good to finally have all the gaps filled."

Lawliet gazed at Ryuk; a hint of awe glistened in his eyes. "Are you saying the thing I've been missing my entire life is my body, and Light's been without his mind?"

The concept sounded preposterous. Lawliet's had a body since Light knew him and, as far as Light could tell, he had a properly functioning mind-not counting the temporary insanity. "I understand," Light spoke before Ryuk could answer Lawliet. "It's more that my mind wasn't complete, just as your body wasn't. It sorta explains my temporary insanity and your strange disease. But when we were together..."

"You reverted back to normal humans," Ryuk chuckled. "Men don't like relying solely on another to be complete. I think it's some crazy human complex."

"So those men all betrayed each other because they couldn't stand feeling whole?" Lawliet's face contorted as he tried to make logical sense out of the idea. "I would think someone would _want_ to be around another if they felt complete, not want to destroy him."

Lawliet's hypocrisy almost shocked Light. A few weeks ago, Lawliet was more than willing to have Light killed. But, he held his tongue in fear of an argument or, worse, another, darker truth. Lawliet continued his speech, trying to make sense out of the senseless. After a few minutes, Ryuk sighed abruptly, obviously bored.

"Well, this is where I tell you that your destinies are to protect the fountain and make sure it brings the world peace and harmony," it rolled it's eyes at it's own words. "And-if you don't, your hard work and Rem's effort for thousands and thousands of years was purely trivial and I was cradled in a rock for completely no reason. So, don't let our efforts go to waste. Bye now. If you need Rem or I, you can always call us. But I probably won't come."

It cackled deeply at the last statement and started to beat it's wings. The wind from it's wings carried dust, stinging Light's cheeks as it flew past him. Ryuk lifted in the air, glancing at the boys one last time before taking off, flying upwards towards the blue, cloudless sky.

"This has got to be the strangest day of my life," Light muttered as Ryuk faded into a small, black dot. He glanced at Lawliet, who was studying his scar again. "So, Lawli, what do you propose we do now?"

"We'll deal with this later. First, we take down Beyond."


	39. Old Town

The morons shot at each other as Beyond stepped out of his new house. The old recruits welcomed the new recruits a bit too ferociously. A few of them were already sprawled on the ground with blood dripping from their frozen corpses. Beyond growled and immediately yanked the man's hair closest to him. A small smile ran across his lips.

"You like shooting at each other? Killing each other before the government can?" His hushed voice immediately caught the congregation's attention. They watched, mouths open, as Beyond pulled a knife from his holster and slid it across the man's cheek. Blood poured down his face. Beyond glanced at each man around him before he threw the man on the floor.

"I don't need you," he assured them. "I don't need any of you, but you want power, and I'd rather not get my hands dirty. I don't need you, but to achieve our goal, you need me."

The men immediately understood his implication. The drawn guns disappeared back into their holsters. A girl who'd been caught in the line of fire caught Beyond's eye. Her chest heaved up and down, but it was evident she was close to death. Beyond clicked his tongue. It wasn't even her time yet; poor thing suffered from idiocy.

"Pick that girl up," Beyond demanded. "You all ensured me the safety of those I wanted to keep alive. Yet, here's one whose dead. What's her name?"

After a moment of silence, someone answered, "Sayu Yagami."

Beyond snickered; every tragedy does, in fact, have a bright side. A few men lifted young Yagami's limp body off the floor and carried her to the hospital down the street. Even if she survived, the story of her death would certainly please Sheriff Yagami. Before Beyond could turn to deliver the news, though, a man ran over, calling his name. The man, who Beyond only recognized because he was a telegrapher, waved a piece of paper in the air.

"Beyond," he panted. "A friend of mine, who works for the governor, just sent over a telegram."

Beyond yanked the piece of paper from the man.

G-O-V-E-R-N-O-R R-E-C-E-I-V-E-D M-E-S-S-A-G-E F-R-O-M L.  
H-E I-S A-R-R-I-V-I-N-G I-N O-L-D-T-O-W-N I-N O-N-E W-E-E-K.  
Y-O-U C-A-N F-I-N-D H-I-M T-H-E-R-E.

"Your friend actually works for the governor?" Beyond asked in disbelief.

"Yessir, he's the governor's personal telegrapher," the man grinned.

All his hard work tracking his Lawliet finally paid off in an instant. Anticipation boiled in his stomach. Soon Lawliet would be all his. Beyond summoned a few of his best men and brought them into his dining room.

"I've called you for a private mission. You will be retrieving both L and Light Yagami. You can do whatever you please with Yagami, but you will not_ touch_ L. The man who does will lose all twenty fingers and toes. If you-"

A door slamming cut Beyond's speech. He snapped his head back to see who dared interrupt him. A bloody Mello glowered at the crew from the door way. His swollen eyelid swallowed his left eye. Blood dripped from the top of his head, matting his blond hair. Beyond's eyes lit up at the fantastic appearance.

"Mello, I'm glad you've joined us. I was wondering if you would like to lead this little side mission. I thought you'd enjoy it."

"Do I gotta kill Light?"

"Only if you want."

"Awright," Mello nodded. "Just tell me what I need to do."

* * *

Light smacked his cracked lips together as he peered into the distance. In the pale light of the morning sun, he finally spotted their destination: Old Town. A long finger brushed against Light's chest. Lawliet had grown too weary to walk, so Light had slung him over his shoulders and carried him for half the night. He finally fell asleep.

"We'll be there soon," Light mumbled to himself. Lawliet's breath tickled his ear in response.

Lawliet hadn't slept since they left the valley. He movements were erratic and he seemed suddenly jumpy and uneasy. Light tried to soothe him, but Lawliet shot down any offer of help. He couldn't seem to fathom the strange, yet enlightening experience they had in the valley. Maybe it was all too much for him.

Light couldn't blame him. Everyone once believed Light had an extrodianary destiny and, surprisingly, they were correct. The strange connection between Light and Lawliet finally made sense, although Light's feelings hadn't disappeared since the phenomenon. There was something more.

As they approached Old Town, Light's knees suddenly gave way. He collapsed, somehow managing to protect Lawliet's fragile body. Lawliet grumbled and opened his wide eyes.

"What?" he murmured.

"Sorry," Light answered and pushed himself back onto his feet.

He helped Lawliet up and offered to carry him again. Lawliet shook his head and glanced towards the town. "So, we're almost there." A wry smile appeared on his lips. "Finally."

"Lawliet, what's gonna happen to me when we reach the Governor's home?" Light asked.

Lawliet shrugged. "I can't give you a certain answer, Light. Governor Mikami agreed your death was necessary for the safety of his community."

"Because he signed that goddamn contract?" Light snarled. "That paper determines whether I live or die? Ain't that a bit unfair, Lawli. I think I've done more than enough to deserve a second chance."

The sparkle in Lawliet's eyes said it all; Lawliet believed Light was too guilty, or evil, to be given any chances. Including the one Light yearned for the most. But, Lawliet only shrugged. "I cannot speak for the governor, Light. Let's keep going."

Old Town held a certain charm which fit with it's name. The townsfolk smiled at Lawliet and Light as they walked down the main street. The buildings' styles were straight out of story books. Each person had a certain skip in their step and, if it were possible, Light was sure they would break out singing and dancing.

"Hello there," someone sang and waved at them. "Would y'all like to try some of my cactus juice? With some special spices, it's about the best darn thing you'll ever taste. Everybody's told me so!"

"No thanks," Lawliet answered without giving the man a glance.

However, the bakery next to the man immediately caught his attention. Before Light could say anything, Lawliet grabbed his arm and dragged him into the sweet-smelling store. The wood floors sparkled and white linens lined the walls. The plump woman behind the counter smiled at their arrivals.

"Well howdy," she grinned. "And what can I do for y'all?"

"One slice of everything, please," Lawliet's eyes were locked on the cakes displayed at the window.

The plump woman chuckled and began to buslte around her store, collecting a piece of every cake and placing them into a box. "So what brings y'all to our town?"

"Business," Light immediately answered. "Do you know where we can stay for a night? We arrived a bit early."

"Why sure. There's actually a few places all around town. We do love our visitors. The saloon has a few rooms and I think there's a few vacancies in the rooms above the grocery store. And, if y'all want, I got a few rooms above here that ain't seen a visitor in a few months. But don't you worry, I clean 'em twice a day!"

"We'll take one," Lawliet spoke through a mouthful of cake.


	40. The Truth

**A/N:** This chapter is rated M, I guess. Sort of.  
Okay, read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

The rooms above the bakery reminded Light of Misa's room. His stomach twisted into knots as he yanked the boots from his aching feet. Lawliet sat by the vanity, shoveling cake down his throat.

Lawliet suddenly broke the silence. "Why did you save me?"

"You know the answer."

"I just want to confirm my assumptions are correct. I'm about seventy-six percent sure, but I want you to confirm."

Light sighed, dreading the conversation ahead. "Lawliet, I told you the night we made love, and I've told you since; I love you. Maybe it' was Rem who connected us together, hell I don't know. But I've always loved you. I guess I was too scared to admit it when I was younger since queers ain't normal."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you believe homosexuality isn't normal? Because you've been taught it repedetedly in Sunday school?"

Light shrugged. He never thought about it much.

"Didn't they also tell you murder is a sin and only God can judge life and death?"

Before he could stop himself, Light was on his feet. The words leaked from his mouth in soft hisses. "You ain't got a right to judge me, Lawliet. I've done nothin' except help you. What I did in the past don't define what I do now. I ask for a second chance 'cause I understand what I did wasn't right. If you can't accept that, then don't expect me to help you no more. I ain't the evil son of a bitch you make me out to be. I just did what I thought, at the time, was right. Would you do any different?"

"Yes," Lawliet answered. "Obviously our views of right and wrong are excidingly different."

"What gives you more of a right to condemn me, then?"

"Light, I don't follow God's law," was all he answered.

That night, Light couldn't keep his eyes closed. He glanced down at the curled up Lawliet. The only time Light recognized him anymore was when he slept. Light sat up and slipped his legs off the bed. Although he didn't want to abandon Lawliet orginally, it seemed he had no other choice.

He tiptoed towards the door, praying there were no squeaky floorboards. He froze as he reached for the doorknob. What was he doing? He sighed and glanced back at Lawliet. A stream of moonlight bathed the pale boy's face. A small smile rested on his lips.

Light couldn't abandon him now. After everything they had been through, Lawliet needed him more than he was willing to say.

"Are you leaving?" Lawliet suddenly spoke.

"I was 'bout to."

"What's stopping you?"

"Do I really need to answer that?"

Light climbed back onto the bed. "You can sleep up here if you want. I'll move to the floor."

Lawliet didn't respond. Instead, he stood up, his lanky body swaying from exhaustion. Without a word, he crawled next to Light in bed and rested his head on the pillow. "A year ago, I would have envied myself," he murmured and closed his eyes. "But now it doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

"Do I really need to answer that?"

Light shot up from his position, nearly knocking the shocked Lawliet on the floor. "This isn't a game!" Light nearly shouted. "I'm sick and tired of you actin' like I'm going to betray you at any moment. I can't stop what I feel, and if you can, well good for fuckin' you. But I ain't gonna sit around and let you talk to me like I'm just some disgusting scum. I love you Lawliet, but I can't keep betrayin' myself. We have a destiny, but you can't seem to remember. Maybe you're the one who's actually evil-"

Suddenly, Lawliet shoved his lips against Light's, muffling his speech. Light toppled over, off the bed. His eyes widened as Lawliet crawled on top of him.

"Maybe you're correct," Lawliet said, wrapping his fingers in Light's hair. He yanked Light's head onto the floor, towering over him. "Rem informed us of our destiny, yet I can't accept it because I don't want to be connected to you. Even if I'm the betrayer, you are corrupt and you _are_ scum." '

"Then why did you just kiss me?" Light shouted. His voice cracked as tears streamed from his eyes. "What gives you the right?"

"This right and wrong act must end," Lawliet said. "If we're ever going to make this work."

"Make what work?"

"The fountain's promise, Light. We were born to be champions of peace."

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU KISSIN' ME!" Light shrieked, too hysterically to contain his frustration.

"I love you more than I care to admit, Light. I subdued my emotions using logic. But now I see reason can not explain the supernatural. And it certainly can not erase feelings."

The tears stopped as Lawliet kissed Light softly. Light slinked his arms around Lawliet's waist and, for a few hours, nothing mattered again. Light dreaded the morning, when Lawliet would again decide it was a mistake. But that didn't stop him.

Lawliet finally moaned as Light pushed inside of him.


	41. The Morning After, Part 2

The morning after that Light dreaded never came. As they slept, their door squeaked open. Mello stood in the doorway clutching his loaded pistol. His men waited behind him. He stepped into the room, raising his eyebrow at the two men, half naked, in bed. He smirked as he thought of Beyond's reaction.

That bastard deserved to have his heart broken. Or, since Beyond's chest was probably empty, his pride damaged.

With one hand, he shoved a rag into L's mouth. L's eyes snapped open but before he could make a noise, Mello clasped his mouth with one hand. He straddled him, preventing L from moving. He motioned his men to do the same for Light.

Light struggled more than L.

In fact, he shoved his foot into one man's groin and punched another in the teeth. He tried to call out for help, but Mello leaped on him and shoved another cloth in his mouth. The two fell to the ground. Mello pummeled Light until blood streamed down his perfect face. He targeted the left side of his face.

Light glowered at him before he finally blacked out.

"That was easier than I expected," Mello snickered and tossed the unconscious Light over his shoulder. L remained stiff as a board as another man tried to lift him.

Mello rolled his eyes and tossed Light back on the floor. "You're all idiots," he hissed as he punched L in the gut. He scooped him up and threw up him over his shoulder. "Pick up Light. Let's go."

The whole mission had taken about ten minutes once they reached Old Town. L's knack for sweets gave their location away. Beyond knew too well. Mello found himself rolling his eyes whenever Beyond mentioned L. He always told intimate stories at Mello's expense, hoping to torture him. But Mello was stronger than that. At least, he used to be.

The bruise on his eye throbbed as he slung L's body on the back of his horse. L struggled, trying to shout through the gag, but barely a whisper came out. He gazed up at Mello, his eyes surprisingly indifferent. Mello scoffed, wondering what intrigued Beyond so much about the lanky, awkward thing.

The ride back only took a few days. The crew barely slept, unable to contain their excitement for the rewards that awaited them. Mello knew better, though. In the end, working for Beyond never paid off.

Fucking Beyond was even worse.

The sun set as they approached the town. They crossed through many new ally towns, which Beyond had gangs of men raid and take over. Mello hated the bastard the more towns he went through. The glory belonging to Beyond was corrupt and forced-something Mello knew very well.

But in all of Mello's hopes for domination, he never imagined pursuing it in the way Beyond did. In fact, Mello started to stray from the idea of complete control. He was content with his gang and Matt.

When they arrived in front of Beyond's house, he was already waiting on the porch with a disgusting grin planted on his face. "Well, L, it's been quite some time," he cackled as he approached Mello's horse.

Suddenly he stopped. His eyes flew to the top of Lawliet's head. He thought he'd miscalculated and figured L's death would come later on. But he was wrong. Ghostly numbers floated above Lawliet's head with something Beyond never saw before: A negative sign.

"Yo-you should be dead," he gaped.

Lawliet's only response was a muffled grunt. His eyes never left Beyond's, taunting him. In a wild fury, Beyond gripped the back of Lawliet's neck and slammed him to the ground. He yanked the gag from his mouth. "How did you do it?" he shrieked.

Silence surrounded him. The onlookers glanced at each other and took a step back. Beyond's fists curled into a clench. He threw a punch at Lawliet's face. Fragile Lawliet shuddered, but didn't speak a word. Beyond hit him again and again until his fists hurt.

"Tell me," he snarled. "How did you escape death?"

Lawliet spit in Beyond's face. Beyond recoiled and stood up. Without another word, he grabbed Lawliet's hair and dragged him into his house. Most of the survivors, including Sheriff Yagami, were stuck in the jail house. But Lawliet was Beyond's and Beyond's only.

Lawliet barely made a sound as Beyond dragged him upstairs. Splinters tore at his back, ripping at his skin. Upstairs, Beyond placed Lawliet on a chair and tied his hands with cool wires.

"Listen, Lawli," Beyond's voice became unbearably calm. Fury boiled in his stomach, but he knew he had to repress it. Lawliet didn't deserve death. "Tell me how you managed to survive past your expiration date."

Instead of answering the question, Lawliet asked hoarsely, "Can you see your own."

Beyond slapped him across the face. "If you tell me, I won't kill you."

Lawliet began to laugh softly. "You won't be able to kill me anyway."

Another slap. Beyond slammed the door and turned to Lawliet again. "I can make your life a living Hell. You know very well what I'm capable of. You will be _begging_ me for death."

* * *

Beyond was having his fun upstairs with L. Mello turned his attention to Light, who was sprawled over the back of a horse, panting softly. The blood from the wounds dried a few days ago. His appearance almost made Mello laugh. Light, or Kira, once reigned the gangs and bandits with terror. He put them where they belonged; in Hell. But here he was, bent over a horse, bleeding and broken.

Mello smirked "Your sister's dead," he chuckled. "She kept crying before she died. She asked for you."

Light struggled to speak, only to receive a smack for his attempts. Mello peeled the gag from his face. "You look good, Light," he snickered.

"Matt asked for you," Light managed to breathe out. "He told L he missed you. We were supposed to meet with him at Old Town. Too bad you didn't run into him."

Mello's eyes widened. The words singed his chest. He couldn't stand the cocky bastard anymore. "I'll kill you nice and slow," he growled.


	42. Something More

**A/N: **Anyone know any really good Death Note (or even Yu Yu Hakusho...) stories? I can't find any that I haven't read already Dx. (You can recommend your own too, of course). Is that a strange request in an authors note? Whatever.  
Read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

Something happened. Although Matt couldn't exactly tell what, it was apparent something went wrong. Matt only knew L for a few weeks, and Light for a bit longer, but he recognized their dedication and integrity; neither would delay this meeting.

After only an hour, Matt interviewed the entire town. Some folks recognized their description, but others seemed too wrapped up in their own business. If only they'd known the importance of the two. The only person who legitimately cared about the boys' appearances was the bakery shop owner.

"They stayed in a room upstairs," she had said. Her chin bounced as she spoke. "The scraggly one, with the black hair, he loved my cakes. Kept eating 'til I thought he was gonna explode. Didn't though. Then, they just left without paying. I didn't even see 'em leave."

Matt leaned against the outside of the bakery, lighting a cigarette. His mind raced with reasons for their unexpected absence, but only one made sense: Beyond discovered their location. Even when he lived with Beyond, Matt noticed how his eyes lit up when anyone mentioned L. The obsession was clear, but Matt couldn't figure out why-insanity fogs up reason.

And Beyond was a bit more than insane.

As Matt headed out of Old Town to inform the governor of the news, a strange man gripped his arm. Matt stared at the man before sliding his arm away. "Can I help you?" he asked with his cigarette perched between his lips.

In a raspy voice, the old man replied, "I saw 'em boys you been askin' 'bout. These bandits came in the middle of the night and took 'em right out of their beds."

Just as Matt suspected. "What'd the bandits look like?"

"Hell, I couldn't describe all of 'em to you. But I got a good look at the leader. He's sort of a short fella, but mighty skinny. He got blonde hair and from the looks of it, a scar on the left side of his face."

Matt's stomach dropped. He carefully spoke each syllable, masking his emotions from the man. "Did ya see anythin' else?"

The old man shook his head. "But, boy," he said as Matt began to turn away. "Is it true what they're sayin' 'bout the bandits? How they're spreadin' to each town and takin' over?"

"It's not my place to reveal any information," Matt shrugged. "Sorry. Have a good day, sir."

With that, Matt headed to the post office. First mail, then the governor. The post office stank of wet wood. He leaned on the counter and crushed his cigarette onto the surface. The post master handed him a small stack of letters. The top one immediately caught his attention.

Written in messy script, only two words were on the envelope: For You. Matt ripped open the seal, swallowing the hardening bubble in his throat.

* * *

L's head drooped on his shoulders. Exhaustion tore at his conscious and, if he didn't escape soon, he was sure he would die. Beyond never made an empty threat. He rarely had a moment of peace. Even when he was alone, his head pounded with the venomous words that poured from Beyond's mouth. But his concern didn't lie with his mind; he could barely move his fingers from the immense pain.

Beyond's persistence to obtain the secret of the fountain began to get to L. The thought frightened L, but barely surprised him; Beyond knew what he was doing. He constantly held steady control over every situation, including this one.

But L wasn't about to give in.

He breathed softly, trying desperately not to cough. Beyond jabbed him in the windpipe earlier, promising a day's worth of pain. L wheezed; his throat burned.

But he wouldn't give up.

Beyond pushed the door open and leaned against the frame, admiring his work. "I just spoke to Light," he purred. L suddenly became nauseous. "It turns out there truly is a secret you're keeping from me, but what is it?"

L immediately recognized Beyond was trying to trick him. "What are you talking about?" he answered hoarsely.

"Why are you resisting me?" Beyond cackled. For a moment, though, L thought he spotted a twinkle of frustration in Beyond's eye. Maybe he was winning.

"The Yagami boy is askin' to see his father," Mello yawned from the hallway. He stepped into view, glancing at L. His eyes widened at the sight, but he immediately controlled himself. "And L. And you, again. In fact, he's askin' too much. He just keeps whinin' like a little brat. I'm gonna to kill him now, aw'right?

"No," L suddenly coughed.

He immediately regretted the outburst as Beyond shot him a fascinated gaze. "You're a bit sensitive about the matter," Beyond noted. "Why's that?"

Before L could slither out of his mistake, Mello blurted out, "'cause they fucked."

Beyond's normally calm expression suddenly contorted. His eyes nearly bulged from his head and his upper lip curled into a frightful snarl. Anger iced over each word he spoke. "What did you just say?"

"They fucked. Christ, Beyond, where have you been?" Mello smirked, obviously amused by Beyond's reaction.

Instead of lashing out against the messenger, like L hoped he would, Beyond turned his attention toward L. His eyes became a sickly, pale gray as he raised his fist and brought it on L's shoulder. L's quiet whimper masked the unbearable pain that pounded from his shoulder. Beyond's fist collided with L's cheek, next. Any hopes L had for escaping dissolved as Beyond continued to beat on him over and over.

While he was still able to talk, L muttered, "And he was much better than you."

L opened his eyes, still quite hazy from the beating. A giant mass stood before him. It's fiery crimson eyes glowed as it examined L. L tried to speak, only to find his tongue was too swollen for his mouth. Instead, the strange beast stepped into the shadows. Light pouring from the window made the shadow recognizable. With a frightening grin plastered on it's face, Ryuk spoke: "You really know how to get yourself into trouble."

L's only reply was a soft groan.

"Human's are so fragile," Ryuk chuckled harshly. "And you all have an odd obsession with blood."

Wasn't it supposed to be somewhere else? After it's encasement in the fountain's walls, L figured Ryuk would want to be as far from Earth as possible. Apparently, there was more he needed to do. L wished he could ask the ex-Shinigami questions, but until then, he could only listen to it's taunts.

"If I'm here, and you're in the chair, then where is Light?" L raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Ah, there he is, hehe," Ryuk glanced toward the wall. Suddenly, Light's body blurred into view. Like L, he, too, was strapped in a chair.

L was dreaming-it was the only logical reason for Light's strange appearance. And if he was dreaming...

"Ryuk," he spoke, finally relieved of pain. "why are you here?"

"Because according to the gods, you all need a bit more assistance."

"For what?"

Ryuk shrugged, "I just receive instructions, not answers. If it were up to me, I'd be exploring different worlds and dimensions right about now. But, it's not. So, I'm stuck here watching humans play with each other." He laughed callously. "Just do what needs to be done so I can get out of here."

"Lawliet," Light called blindly; his head rolled from side to side. Blade wounds swept across the left side of his face. Blood cascaded down his body.

"I'm right here," L murmured, trying to soothe the broken boy. Although death seemed to be at their heels, something more needed to be done. L's thoughts drifted to the letter he'd wrote in Old Town as his grip on his dream slipped.


	43. A Hero's Cry

The putrid smell invaded Light's nose. His eyes flickered open as he tried to figure out the source, only to realize it was he who stank. He wrinkled his nose, wishing for a shower. Dried blood, which had leaked from his nose, clung to his chest. Although he knew he should've been in pain, Light felt euphorically numb. In fact, his whole body surged with a familiar tingling and coolness. He glanced at his arms, searching for the source of the injection. Sure enough, a tiny hole burrowed into his forearm.

Maybe compassion existed in Mello. Light nearly chuckled at the thought; Mello was no better than Beyond. They both gained sick pleasure from other human's pain, whether or not they gained anything from it. Mello used Light as a dummy simply because he could. Or-

Light's thoughts trailed off to the night he escaped Mello's gang. He never meant to hurt Mello; the kid simply got in the way. Maybe he deserved it. After all, he captured Light and left him in that closet to suffer and die.

To be violated.

He suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Pain began to sting at his body; the morphine was wearing off. Light cried out for help, not knowing particularly what it would achieve, but he shouted until his throat burned.

"Lawliet," he moaned softly.

He saw Lawliet's face perfectly: His pointed chin, those bagged eyes, his thin lips. Remembering how he felt against Light's skin sent shivers down Light's aching spine. "Lawliet," he called again, a bit louder.

Delirium from the pain set in long before Light noticed. The left side of his face burned horribly. He must've looked terrible-like Mello. A strange pang of guilt hit his chest. But why should he feel sorry for him?

His breath chilled when Beyond stepped in. Blood dripped from his hands as he staggered towards Light; a crazed expression plastered itself on his face. Yet, Beyond managed to grin wickedly through his obvious rage.

"Do you know what I found out?" Beyond didn't wait for an answer. "Mello told me he found you and Lawli in _bed_ together. Hah! Could you imagine a funnier situation? You and Lawli together. What makes you better than me, hm? Who do you think you are, Light Yagami? You won't win against me. And now, I can kill anyone you hold dear with a snap of my fingers. Snap! Hah, made you fucking jump."

"Wh-what are you talkin' about?" Light struggled to say. Beyond and Lawliet knew each other, but Lawliet refused to reveal how. The way Beyond spoke of the matter, though, seemed to imply-but no, that's impossible. Lawliet would never.

Beyond growled, clamping his hand around Light's neck. He spat as he snarled, "Don't play dumb, Light Yagami." His breath stank of alcohol. "You slept together like everything was fine and dandy, completely forgetting about all those people who cared so much about you. OH! No, I guess they don't because they wanted you dead. And guess who else did? Lawli. _My_ Lawli."

Light's fingers trembled. Beyond had to be lying. Lawliet could never...

"I let you into my damn home and took fucking care of you. Remember that? I helped you out in your time of need, and how do you repay me? But don't worry, Light Yagami, I'm not going to kill you. No, you deserve life, since it's oh-so-fucking precious to Lawliet that he almost had you hanged. Don't you have any sense of self-worth, disgusting scum?"

Lawliet would never...

"He used to cry at night, always calling out your damn name." In a mockery tone, he started wailing, "Oh Light! Please come, Light! I'm sorry, I miss you. I feel like I'm choking."

Beyond grabbed his own neck, miming as if he couldn't breath. A haggard laugh escaped his lips as Light's eyes grew wider. "You look like a puppy dog. Little Light the puppy dog, hoping to save his old friend. Awwwww."

With an open palm, Beyond smacked the wounds on Light's cheek. Light cried out; the morphine's effects definitely faded. "What do you want from me?" Light panted softly. "I done nothin' to you."

"You did everything!" Beyond cried out. "He thinks about you, and I can't even faze him. But after the work Mello's done on you, bet Lawli won't be able to look at your angel face anymore."

Light struggled as Beyond pressed his hand against his mouth. "I know you two have a secret. So tell, tell, tell, Light Yagami, and I'll spare you. How is Lawli still alive?" Even if he could speak, Light refused to answer. His neglect towards the question obviously infuriated Beyond by the moment. The madman kicked him square in the chest, sending both Light and the chair toppling backwards. His entire body landed on his tied up hands, causing a petrifying cracking sound.

"Whoops!" Beyond cackled. "Can't do much without those, can you? I'll be back in a few hours. And you better be ready to tell me."

With that, Beyond disappeared from the room, leaving Light trapped on the floor. He attempted to roll himself and the chair over, but any movement shook his broken hands into a frenzy of pain. He bit his lip as he tried again, only to hear another crack. He cried out, suddenly wishing to die. He hadn't felt like that since...

Horrifying memories of gigantic, hairy hands groping every crevice in his body shot into his thoughts. The man's stink filled his nose. Light never experienced such a disgustingly real memory. Panic rose in his body as he experienced the trauma over and over.

"Please," he begged to the empty room. "For the love of God, stop!" He wanted to die-he couldn't go through the pain again. The emptying anguish nearly destroyed him the last time.

Suddenly, a gentle voice whispered, "I'm right here." Light stopped squirming, recognizing the voice immediately. But how? Darkness crept on him as he somehow drifted off.

* * *

Matt leaned on the bar stool, facing the crowd of eager faces. They all expected him to recite a glorious speech about freedom and how the country would be saved by bandits. But he couldn't lie to them. Beyond's innate skills to manipulate and plot already outnumbered most of the men Matt rounded up. Beyond plus other bandits meant complete and utter failure.

But someone had to lead these men. Someone had to fight for any piece of goodness left on this Earth. Matt wiped sweat from his forehead as he scanned the crowd. No one uttered a word as he opened his mouth.

"Many of you will die," he started off. Murmurs roared through the men surrounding him. "But sometimes, we gotta make sacrifices. Y'all can't be afraid of death 'cause the people we're fightin' ain't afraid to kill you. You gotta accept that sometimes, for the greater good, lives gotta be taken. And if it's your own, well I think y'all should feel honored. Now what I'm askin' may be a suicidal mission, but it's for your towns, your lands, and your families. Go back to your wives and children if you can't accept the sacrifice. Pray that tomorrow your home won't be invaded next. But don't accept this job with any hesitation because you don't wanna die with any regrets."

The men exchanged glances. Some stood up and left before Matt could continue. He wished he hadn't asked men to sacrifice their life. If he could, he would go in alone, fight the battle, and die in the process-maybe even die a hero. But he needed them.

The barman cleared his throat suddenly. "Sir, what you're askin' us to do is crazy."

"I know," Matt sighed.

"But, hell, what've I got to lose? Not like I got much of a family anyways. I see people come and go all the time 'round these parts, with their smiling faces. And I provide them with consistently good service. I ain't gonna risk this bar or my town. I'm with you, partner."

Somehow, Matt's spirits lightened. "Thanks," he smiled softly. "Now if I can get all of 'em to feel the same."

Suddenly, as if someone snapped them awake, the men began to shout how they were willing to die. Many of them, although fear sparked in their eyes, held broad, proud smiles upon their faces. They stood up, cheering and whooping. Chills shot down Matt's spine. Maybe there was a chance after all.


	44. Why Are We Here?

**A/N:** This will be a nice, quick chapter with lots of dialogue. So enjoy!

* * *

Light immediately recognized the paradise before him. The meadows, the flowers, the willow tree. He breathed a sigh of relief, wondering for a moment why he was back. But only for a moment. The peaceful world tore him from that disgusting room. He touched a hand to his cheek, surprised to find it wiped clean of the cuts and blood.

Someone whimpered next to him. He glanced over. His heart raced as his eyes lay upon Lawliet "Lawli?" he asked, approaching the trembling boy. "Are you okay?"

"He sees this world as he perceives your world," someone spoke behind Light.

Light turned, not conscious of the smile that spread across his face. "I never thought I'd see you again. Weren't you set free or whatever when we resurrected the fountain?"

A. Kinnan shrugged. "I thought that's what happened. I mean, that's what Ryuk kinder told me, but apparently not. Hell, I don't know who can see the future, but somethin's gotta happen first."

"What are you talkin' 'bout?" Light narrowed his eyes. "I thought we completed our mission, Ryuk and Rem confirmed it."

"They just got free themselves," A. chuckled. "They don't know what's up or down."

"So what needs to be done?"

A. shrugged again. Lawliet whimpered softly. Light reached to comfort him, but his hand passed through his body. He yanked it back, gazing in awe as Lawliet turned away from him and sunk to the floor.

"What do you see, Lawli?"

"You believe in a utopia. For you, peace on Earth is possible. He still can't fathom the idea of peace, even though the fountain promises it," A. answered for Lawliet. "He believes that humans will always be corrupt and therefore, the world won't ever be beautiful. I guess he thinks the fountain won't change anythin', or somethin'."

Light didn't answer. He sat quietly next to Lawliet. Once upon a time, they would count the stars and dream about their future. Once upon a time, they were happy. "Lawli," Light murmured. "I don't know what you see, but I wish you knew all the possibilities the world has to offer. We live in a beautiful world; I thought-I wish-I showed you that."

He sighed when Lawliet didn't respond. "I don't know what else we gotta do, but I'll do anythin' to show you that man isn't meant for evil. You may think I'm not the right person to show you, but I am, Lawli. I've been to the depths of Hell and back."

"How?" Lawliet's hollow voice made Light jump.

"You can hear me?"

Lawliet nodded. "I'm dreaming, but I want to see you."

"I know you and Beyond had sex."

"I'm sorry," Lawliet murmured. "I let myself fall into the first arms that promised comfort. I was so empty-"

"I understand. The reason I became Kira-" Light gulped as he began to tell Lawliet the entire story. Lawliet never turned to face him or interrupted him. He nodded a few times, as if he comprehended the tragedies Light faced. When Light finished, they sat quietly together. Lawliet's hand, suddenly solid, slipped into Light's.

"Why are we here, Light?"

"There's more to be done."

Lawliet sighed softly. "There's always more to be done." Suddenly, his eyes widened as he scanned his surroundings. His hand trembled in Light's hand. "This place is beautiful," he murmured.

"Do you love me, Lawli?"

"Yes."

"Do you forgive me?"

Lawliet only replied, "Do you forgive yourself?"

Before Light could answer, the world began to dissolve around them. Light fell into darkness, with only one question in his mind; 'what am I doing here?'


	45. Beauty

The plan was set. Matt crouched on his horse as it galloped across the desert. Hundreds of men, including several sheriffs and deputies from neighboring towns, followed close behind. Word of the rebellion against the bandits spread like wild fire. Before Matt knew it, men were lining at the bar, promising to do whatever it took to protect their homes. He glanced to the side of him, smirking at the bartender, Aiber.

"We got a few days journey," Aiber called to him. "But I'm excited as Hell. I never been in a fight before. I never died before, neither."

Matt chuckled. "I guess there's a first time for everything."

What his men didn't know was Beyond would escape. A part of Matt hoped he wouldn't, but the bastard was too cunning. Lawliet anticipated this, though. Matt clicked his spurs harder into the horse. They sailed across the sand, journeying to the hell which awaited.

Matt's adrenaline pumped hard through his body. The horse's hooves pounded against the sand. Through all the rush, though, Matt constantly found himself wondering if he would run into Mello. Would Mello escape with Beyond, or remain to fight? If the latter was the case, Matt would face him. He had a strategy to defeat Mello-if 'defeat' was the proper word. He would never kill his ex-lover, but he wouldn't let him free either.

"The prime man we're lookin' to save is L, although he might be gone by the time we arrive," Matt informed Aiber. He began to describe L as detailed as possible. "There might be someone with him." He started to describe Light and, to his surprise, Aiber's eyes lit up.

"I saw him! Hell, he stayed right above my bar. His friend was sick. Said his name was Ryuzaki, but come to think of it, he fits L's description perfectly. Never talked to the poor bastard, though. He got shot in the stomach and the doctors figured he'd never recuperate."

"What? You must be mistaken. When was this?"

"A few weeks ago."

"But-he's still alive. What did the doctors do?"

Aiber shrugged. "Light took off with him before the doctors could determine his survivability. Ryuza-I mean L was in a coma."

Something funny was going on. His thoughts wandered to the fountain mentioned in the letter. Is it healed L somehow? He never mentioned he was hurt in the letter. Matt bit his lip as they continued to ride towards Light's and L's hometown. He would find out the answer soon enough.

* * *

Mello bent his body over the wash bin, glaring at his reflection in the water. A sickly mucus filled the back of his throat. He stumbled towards the door, throwing up outside. He trembled, trying desperately to gain composure. Horrid thoughts flooded his mind and, before he knew it, he got sick again. He gripped at his stomach, sinking onto the floor. The wind wrapped it's hot, sticky fingers around his body. His clothes clung desperately to his skin.

What happened to him?

Over the past few days, nightmares constantly plagued his sleep. He'd wake up sweating. Craving and yearning attention, he'd beg Beyond to wake up. He'd only receive a smack or a nasty comment before the bastard fell back asleep. Mello had kicked the blankets from the bed in his sleep last night. He woke up to a fist bashing his cheek. After, he dreamed that Beyond tore Matt's head off and ate his innards with a wicked smirk on his face.

Mello curled into a ball, shivering. His body temperature sky rocketed over the past few days. The unexplainable sickness refused to passed his body, no matter how many pills he tossed down his throat. The only time the sickness subsided, though, was when he visited Light.

He stood up, swaying slightly as he caught his balance. Light's chair had been tossed backwards, yet the man was fast asleep. Mello pulled the chair to it's rightful position softly. His stomach settled as he observed the new wounds on Light's body. Apparently Beyond paid him a visit.

Mello caught sight of Light's bound hands. A bone protruded from his ring finger. A few other fingers jutted in strange directions. He bit his lip, pulling a syringe from his pocket. He plunged it into Light's vein. Light groaned as Mello pushed the morphine into his system.

A soft moan escaped Light's lips. "Lawli."

Mello froze. Through all the pain the man endured, his mind still lingered on his old friend. Mello knew what it was like to find comfort in another. He remembered it too well, actually.

_Matt placed a damp gauze on Mello's aching face. "Stop worryin' 'bout how you look," he smiled softly. "Just focus on gettin' better so you can leave this stinkin' room. You've been in here way too long."_

_"Don't tell me what to do," Mello frowned at him._

_Somehow, Matt laughed at the comment. He always laughed when Mello attempted to control him. Mello sat up, grunting from the pain. "Want some more morphine?" Matt offered. Mello shook his head, too intoxicated from the pain. _

_"Mello, you'll be okay." Mello shrugged. Matt began to peel the bandages from his torso. "You will. I'm gonna make sure of it, aw'right? You gotta fight, too, though."_

_"Matt-"_

_"Will you fight?" Before Mello could answer, Matt pressed his lips softly against him and left the Mello to think. He leaned against the bed rest, staring at the burns that ran down his body. Matt left without bandaging him back up. He obviously did it purposefully, but why? _

Mello knew why now. Matt was promising he would be back. Suddenly, tears poured down Mello's cheeks. He asked himself over and over what he'd done, but now he knew. Light moaned softly in his sleep as Mello slumped against the wall. He lost the only person, the only thing in the world, who made him human. Without Matt's guidance, Mello was trapped in a life which no one should live. Without Matt, Mello was nothing.

He wished he'd seen it sooner.

Suddenly, gunfire sounded from outside. Mello jumped up, clutching his pistol. He turned to Light. Even under all the scars and cuts, Light's face still shone radiantly. He was still somehow beautiful. Mello glanced towards the vanity on the other side of the room. For the first time in months, he admired his reflection_. _

_"C'mon. Let's go to bed. Forget 'bout that thing for one day. Besides, I think it kinda suits you. All mysterious and dangerous and what-not."_

More shots sounded from outside. Men hollered for help. Mello glanced at his reflection one last time.

Matt was always right.


	46. I'm With You

Beyond clung to the doorway, firing at the invaders. Each time he pulled the trigger, a man toppled off his horse. He laughed triumphantly as the invaders fell constantly. Beyond skillfully placed his own men, instructing them how to hide and where to go. Most were posted on the roofs, giving them the full advantage. Some were dead already, though, slumped over the roof. Blood rained onto the street.

A drop plummeted onto Beyond's hand. He snickered as he retreated into the house to reload. His tongue ran down his arm. The salty blood tingled on his tongue. When he turned back to the door, he watched in horror as hundreds of men headed towards the town in the distance. He cursed under his breath and headed straight for Lawliet's room.

He slammed the door open and wrapped the boy's black hair around his fingers. "How did you do it?" he snarled. Lawliet groaned softly; blood leaked from the corner of his mouth. "Tell me now and I won't go in and blow Light's brain out!"

"Li-Light's the only one w-who knows it-it's true location. He to-took me." Lawliet coughed.

Beyond hesitated for a moment. "Then we'll have to bring him, won't we?" Once Lawliet revealed the secret, he would shoot Light on the spot and take Lawliet for his own. He held back the excitement boiling in his stomach.

Lawliet struggled to speak. "There's a-a foun-there's a fountain."

"A fountain?" Beyond growled. "Where is this fountain?"

"In the-in the middle of the de-desert. About a th-three days journey."

"Thank you, Lawli."

He bent towards his trembling captive and began to unravel the ropes. His lips grazed against Lawliet's forehead and, for a moment, they lingered by Lawliet's lips. The sudden closeness sent blood rushing to Beyond's head. He waited so long to wrap Lawliet around his fingers. He pressed his lips against Lawliet's as Lawliet started to sob.

"What's wrong?" Beyond purred as he scooped him up.

Lawliet didn't answer as Beyond opened the door and kicked down the door for Light's room. The boy was slumped in his chair. Blood covered his body. Mello was leaning against the wall, his eyes bloodshot.

"Untie him," Beyond demanded. "And help him up. We're leaving."

"I can't do this," Mello mumbled.

"Shut the fuck up," Beyond growled. "Now fucking untie him, you worthless piece of shit."

Mello trembled as he started to untie Light. Light's eyes flickered open and, as soon as they met Lawliet's, he jumped from his chair, only to collapse again. He glanced around, bewildered by the sudden company. Beyond ground his boot into Light's broken fingers, smirking as he writhed from the pain.

"Light, do you remember the location for the fountain?"

Light's eyes widened. "Lawli, you didn't," he murmured. Beyond stomped on Light's fingers as the sounds of gunfire drew uncomfortably close. "Why!"

"I'm sorry," Lawliet murmured.

"Do you?" Beyond snarled.

"Just tell him," Lawliet begged. "Light, don't be an idiot."

Light's face froze as he gazed in horror at Lawliet. "An idiot?" he whispered. "Do you realize what you've done."

"Please," Lawliet said as Beyond's foot dug harder into Light's hand.

Light cried out, "Fine!"

With that, Beyond turned from the room and demanded Mello to bring Light. They fled out the back door and hoped into the carriage Beyond had waiting, in case an invasion occurred. He applauded himself for being so well prepared. They left behind the effort Beyond put in to corrupt the world. But, if this fountain really prevented death, Beyond would rule the world.

* * *

Aiber glanced around his shoulder, firing his pistol at a man on the roof. The man cried out, collapsing out of view. Aiber smirked to himself, surprised how well he was doing. So far, he killed twenty-six men. Beyond Birthday planted hundreds of men all over the town but, thanks to Matt's speech prior to the invasion, Aiber and his men were completely pumped with adrenaline.

'Now,' he thought to himself. 'Where are these captives?'

Matt left Aiber in charge, promising him he had his own mission. Although Aiber immediately believed Matt to be a coward, Matt soon convinced him with a letter. The seal held the famous 'L' symbol, which convinced Aiber of it's legitimacy. Matt's job was worse than the rest's.

He shook Aiber's hand before he left, informing him Beyond probably had captives. It wasn't Beyond's style to kill _everyone. _While the rest of the men fought, Aiber searched the town for them. It only took a few minutes; they were in the jailhouse.

'Easy,' Aiber smirked. He shot the men guarding the door before they had a chance to notice him. He ducked inside, kicking another man waiting at the sheriff's table. Dozens of people glanced up at him from behind the bars. Dirt and blood covered their faces. But, when they noticed the new face, their eyes lit up.

_"_Aiber!" someone cried out. Sheriff Matsuda pushed passed the crowd and gripped the bars.

"Good to see you, Sheriff," Aiber laughed as he grabbed the cell keys. "I heard your town got invaded. I guess I just assumed you were dead."

The people cheered as he slid the keys into the lock and turned them. They immediately poured out, until Aiber held his hands up. "None of ya'll are equipped with any weapons, so we're gonna have to wait here until the fightin' ends. Matsuda and I will go grab weapons from the dead. Just, wait here. We'll be right outside the door."

Matsuda and Aiber peaked their heads from the door. Blood poured like a river down the street. Smoke from guns permeated the air but, from the looks of it, they were winning. Aiber grabbed the guns from the men who were stationed outside the door.

"I think Sheriff Yagami is in the individual jails next door. Can we get to 'em?"

Aiber smirked. "Of course."

They dropped off the weapons, handing them to a few who promised they knew how to handle guns. After he carefully instructed them to wait, Matsuda and he sneaked around the back and headed into the individual cells. Surprisingly, these were more guarded then the others. Aiber and Matsuda took the guards down without a problem, though. These men all had thick heads.

They pried open each door, discovering a different person inside. The first was Sachiko Yagami, Sheriff Yagami's wife. She cried when she saw Matsuda's face. The second held an elder man who Matsuda introduced as Watari. Sheriff Yagami was located in the last one.

His breath was shallow as Sachiko ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. She sobbed into his chest. He placed his cheek softly on the top of her head. "My love," he muttered. "Are you aw'right?"

"Yes," she sobbed. "Are you?"

"Never been better," he chuckled softly.

"Let's get them back with the rest and wait there," Aiber turned to Matsuda. The determined Sheriff nodded.

They helped Sheriff Yagami up and they all hustled from the individual cells. As they headed towards the jailhouse building, though, Sheriff Yagami's body gave way, causing both him and Aiber to collapse. Everyone struggled to help the Sheriff up, but it was too late; they were spotted. A man held a pistol towards them, calling for back-up. Matsuda fired at him, but missed terribly. He cursed as they all began to run, except Aiber.

He planted his feet firmly on the ground and steadied his vision on the man. He fired. The bullet soared through the man's forehead and he flew backwards. But, where he fell, other men came. Aiber smirked, glancing one last time at Sheriff Matsuda and the group, who were hiding behind the jailhouse.

"COME ON!" Matsuda cried out.

"You go," Aiber mouthed. With that, he fired at the other men. A bullet struck his gut. He stumbled, still holding his gun with shaking fingers. He shot again. Two men dead; three to go.

"Thirty-two," he smirked, as he pulled the trigger again. Another man fell as another bullet sank into his leg. Aiber collapsed, shooting again.

"Thirty-three."

Blood poured from his lips. He shook, holding his chest up from the ground. Another bullet plummeted into his non-shooting arm. "Come on, lucky thirty-four," he coughed, firing again. Another man collapsed.

One man left. The man steadied his pistol, aiming it for Aiber's head. Aiber made a promise to keep everyone safe, and he fulfilled it. Death was only his friend, now. He chuckled as the man pulled the trigger. Darkness clouded Aiber's vision.

Matsuda ran from the shadows, unable to stand the sight. He fired wildly, piercing the man several times. He collapsed to his knees, turning Aiber over. Blood gushed from a hole in his head, but the man still held a small smile. Matsuda whispered a small prayer.

"Thank you, Aiber," he murmured, closing Aiber's eyes. He stood up and ran towards his friends, who waited with solemn faces by the jail house's door.


	47. Expectations

**A/N: **There's about two more chapters left to go until the conclusion/epilogue! I'm excited that this is actually going to be finished =]  
Reviews are greatly appreciated and for all you who have continued reading, thanks for your support!

* * *

Matsuda gripped the pistol tightly between his fingers. So far, no one disturbed them. He leaned against the door, breathing softly. Gun shots continued to echo, piercing his ears until he thought he'd explode. Most of his fellow captors surrounding him all held solemn, frozen faces, waiting for their turn to die; hope glimmered in only a few eyes, including Soichiro's.

He lost his daughter and possibly his son, but somehow he was able to spit at the face of death. A thin arm wrapped around his hips as his wife wept on his shoulder. Sachiko wasn't strong like her husband, but she never hid it. Matsuda did, though. He yearned for Sheriff Yagami's courage and strength.

And compared to Aiber, Matsuda was nothing.

He bowed his head, suddenly grief-stricken. The man had so little, yet he sacrificed it for a few lives with a smile on his face. He accepted his fate willingly, as long as he fought the good fight. Matsuda's gun trembled in his hands as a tear rolled down his cheek. He immediately turned from the group, hiding his shame.

Someone's burly arm wrapped around him. In a gruff voice, Sheriff Yagami muttered, "Don't take it to harshly, Sheriff. We're gonna be just fine, aw'right?"

Matsuda nodded softly, glancing at Soichiro. The man looked broken, yet there he stood, comforting Matsuda. Shame and embarrassment pierced Matsuda's heart. "I know," he answered back. "We're all gonna be okay."

Suddenly, something slammed against the door. Gasps rang through the crowd as they began to bustle away from the entrance. Another bang tore one of the hinges off. Matsuda inched toward the window, peering out to the front. Sure enough, several men stood at the doorway, tossing their body to break it down. And they didn't look too friendly.

The group was deathly silent. Matsuda whispered loud enough, "Everyone shuffle on to the back. We're gonna be aw'right, just get away from the door." He glanced at Sheriff Yagami and Deputy Mogi. "We'll hold them off," he grinned weakly at them.

"Damn right we will," Mogi chimed.

"Give those bastards what they deserve," Sheriff Yagami's face hardened as the door off the hinge. The three, plus a few others with weapons, braced themselves and aimed their pistols at the door. As soon as one man's head peaked through the crack, they all pulled the trigger. The man toppled over, his face mutilated.

The group behind the man obviously hesitated at the sight of their fallen comrade, but it didn't stop them. They began to pour in, greeted by heavy fire. Bullets flew across the room as both groups ducked for cover. Matsuda suddenly realized they were highly out numbered. He glanced behind him, spotting the captives cowering in the back of the other room. Without thinking, he jumped up from his place and ran full force towards the other crowd.

He didn't plan what he would do, he just knew to do it. He plummeted into the unsuspecting men, knocking them onto the ground. Before the others could react, he jumped up and began to shoot as fast as possible. The distraction provided Sheriff Yagami and his men with the full advantage.

Matsuda knocked men's hands away as they tried to aim at him and dove for their feet when he had the possibility. Sherrif Yagami watched in shock as Matsuda took down a whole army. His fingers never left the trigger, though.

Fists slammed into Matsuda's cheeks and head, but he continued to fight, shooting, and biting, and kicking. Suddenly, being a hero didn't seem so difficult. He smiled triumphantly at the bodies of men scattered at his feet.

"Damn," he laughed. "Now that's an adrenaline rush for ya!"

Before he could head back to the group, though, one final man stepped through the doorway and pulled the trigger. The shooter immediately collapsed as Sheriff Yagami pelted him with bullets.

Matsuda glanced down at the new wound spouting blood on his gut. "Oh," he murmured. He never gave his life a second thought; there were too many other's at stake. He crumpled to the floor, suddenly overwhelmed with pain. "Ohh," he moaned.

Sheriff Yagami and Deputy Mogi scooped him up and brought him to the back room, closing the door behind them. Then, Matsuda's vision began to go hazy. It felt as if they were ripping his close straight off his torso. Then, someone placed pressure on the stinging wound.

"I did good," Matsuda moaned, chuckling slightly. They weren't very heroic last words, but they were good enough for Matsuda. At least he would die a hero.

* * *

The ride felt excruciatingly long. Light breathed steadily, sprawled out amongst the hay on the wagon. Lawliet crouched near him, resting his hands on his knees. His large eyes never left Light's. He almost seemed to be studying him. Light fingered a piece of hay, smiling to himself. Mello repetitively provided him with morphine, sending Light into strange, yet intoxicating comas.

He glanced toward Lawliet, unaware of the large smile spread across his lips. Lawliet cocked his head and asked how Light felt, although it sounded too drawn out to be just one question. Light attempted to answer, but instead groaned in response.

The sun glittered against Lawliet's pale skin. Light reached a trembling hand towards him, wishing to touch his soft skin. Another hand immediately smacked him away. He moved his gaze towards Mello, who sat quietly besides him. Mello shot Light a warning look, as if to remind him Beyond would throw a tantrum. Light retreated his hand, but let himself admire Lawliet some more.

Light would do anything for him.

"How are you feelin'?" Mello nudged Light, bringing him back to the harsh reality.

"Fine," Light mumbled.

"Lawliet's been tryin' to talk to you for hours, but you just been droolin' all over the place."

Light sat up, cringing from the pain. Lawliet had fallen asleep, curled amongst the barrels of hay. Pieces stuck from his hair. Light began to pluck them out carefully, watching Lawliet's face intently. Suddenly, Lawliet's eyes snapped open.

He gazed solemnly up at Light and muttered, "It's going to be okay, Light."

Lawliet, who rarely perceived the world optimistically, somehow provided Light all the comfort he needed with those few words. Light didn't question Lawliet's assurance, but continued to clean his messy head. He smelt like hay and Lawli; the Lawli he'd known as a boy. When they went camping together, the strong scent always soothed Light and this situation was no different.

"Let's just look up at the sky and watch clouds again," Light murmured, suddenly realizing how delusional the statement sounded. But Lawliet seemed to understand. He placed a bony finger gently on Light's neck, tracing it absentmindedly.

Light hesitantly backed off as the wagon began to slow down. Mello sat against a barrel of hay, gazing up towards the clouds. The carriage came to a halt. Beyond jumped out to the back and smirked at the group.

"According to Light's directions, we're almost here. The trail ahead is too rough, though, so we must walk."

It was difficult for Light to pull himself to his feet. He stumbled slightly, catching his balance. Before he even got off the wagon, he was out of breath. But he never complained in fear of Beyond's reaction.

The four headed towards the valley which Light so vividly remembered. His eyes met Lawliet's as Light hobbled to keep up. Lawliet gazed apologetically towards him, nearly pleading. Of course Light forgave him; survival was important.

Besides, a strange inkling told him Lawliet had a trick up his sleeve. After all, neither he nor Lawliet would succumb and lose to such a worthless bastard. With that, Light began to devise escape plans and ways to imprison Beyond without killing him. But, it was no use. His body failed him when he needed it most. The beatings intensely handicapped him. If he was lucky, Beyond would keep him alive a bit longer so he could build his strength...

Behind Beyond's back, Light stretched his fingers toward Lawliet's, brushing them slightly. The world, even in it's desperate moments, was beautiful. It needed work and uncorrupted, knowledgeable leaders, but Light believed peace was possible. If all this ends and they're still left standing, Light vowed to show Lawliet how extraordinary human kind could be.

Lawliet just needed to forgive the world for it's sins. A strange thought suddenly gnawed at Light's mind. _"Do you forgive yourself?"_

He could practically see all their faces. How he watched as their eyes froze over, completely void of a soul. He would breathe in their last gasp of breath, thinking they deserved death. A few lives to save millions. His stomach churned. It was never his place to decide.

'No,' he thought. 'I supposed I don't.'


	48. The Insignificance of a Traitor

**A/N:** The title of the chapter is meant to be (sort of) ironic. It's all from Mello's P.O.V.

* * *

Mello cringed as they drew closer to this valley. A part of him hoped it was all a lie; Beyond with unlimited power nauseated him. Beyond never deserved glory. Beyond never deserved Mello. The strange words echoed through his head. Sure, he always placed himself on a pedestal, but after what he did to Matt, he figured he was beneath everyone-including Beyond. He bit his lip, spotting the dip into the valley ahead.

Too late to turn back. 'You messed up real good this time,' he chuckled to himself. Stuck in the middle of desert with an abusive lover who Mello despised more and more each day. And Light Yagami, Kira, who destroyed his face. His angelic face. Unconsciously, he raised his hand and touched the burns on his cheek. Maybe he deserved it. After all, Mello locked him in that closet. He never stood guard, either. And after the incident, Mello just forced work upon him.

Mello swung his head back, watching the clouds as they reached the edge of hill. There was absolutely no point to feel guilty; he couldn't _do_ anything about it. Besides, Light handled himself well. He glanced towards him just as he stumbled forward, nearly toppling down the hill.

'Yep, just fine,' Mello snickered.

Suddenly, Light's panicked voice broke the silence. "We can't do this. This can't happen. We have to go back! Lawli, we gotta go back!"

Mello rolled his eyes. Over-dramatic Light. It would be just fine. Mello nearly laughed at himself for worrying. Life was too short to focus on small things.

Like breaking the love of his life's heart.

Or destroying another man's innocence. See-tiny, insignificant problems.

"Shut up Light," Beyond snapped, turning sharply to face the doped-up boy. His eyes glazed over with anger as Light ignored him, continuing to beg L to leave. L only looked solemnly at the floor as if he couldn't say anything to comfort him. How naive he was; love revolves around comfort and passion. But the dolt stood there, staring at the damn rocks under his feet. The ground couldn't teach him about love.

Mello wondered if he couldn't, either. Was it his place to instruct someone how to express their emotions? He shrugged: why not? Feelings were just feelings.

Beyond practically dragged Light down the cliff. As they descended, so did the pit in Mello's stomach. Something gnawed at him, like someone was watching him. God? No. Mello never trusted religion, so why would God watch over him? He took each step carefully, digging his toe in the dirt first. He stayed a few paces behind Beyond, who held Light in a head lock. Beyond strapped one hand over Light's mouth to ensure his pleads would end.

When they finally reached the bottom, the group suddenly stood frozen, staring at the view before them. For a moment, Mello's iciness melted: no more anger, no more pain. He understood why people sacrificed everything for love. Humans weren't evil in nature; misguided nurture and confusing feelings simply through some into a strange spiral of events. Like Light. For a moment, Mello couldn't hate Light, Beyond, or himself.

"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Beyond murmured as he headed towards it. He let go of Light, who collapsed onto the dirt. His lips bled from the pressure of Beyond's hand. L knelt beside him, cleaning the blood off with his shirt.

Mello tried to move, only to find his knees buckled in place. The scene in front of him was miraculous. Water streamed from the top of the valley, pouring into a small pool. The fountain, however, was nothing compared to what spread around in. Life leaked from the pool; grass sprouted from the supposed infertile dirt and flowers...yes, flowers. He only saw cactus flowers. His fingers trembled as he watched the flowers dance in the breeze. If only Matt were there; he would've loved it. A lump formed in Mello's throat.

Beyond stepped onto the grass carefully. His feet sunk into the wet, moist dirt. "Mello," he called, snapping Mello from his state of awe. "Come here and taste the water first."

"Why?"

"In case it's a trick," he grinned callously at L, who just shook his head softly. "I don't want to be poisoned."

Mello's eyebrows furrowed. "I ain't gonna test your shit for you. If it's poisonous, you die 'cause of your own will. Don't ask me to sacrifice myself."

Suddenly, Beyond's gun aimed right at Mello's head. "I'm not asking you, Mello," he smirked; his teeth almost resembled fangs.

Mello sighed and headed towards the awaiting Eden, trying to avoid Beyond's dark, viscous eyes burrowing into him. Mello made the mistake of looking into his eyes more than once. Beyond's cold, callous eyes sucked out parts of his dignity, dragging Mello further into a state of helplessness. They hypnotized Mello. With one glance, Beyond became Mello's puppeteer.

Mello stopped before he touched the luscious grass. The closest he'd ever come to walking on grass before was a carpet. He pried off his shoes and dipped his toe on it. He took a step, surprised how moist and squishy it felt. Wet dirt nearly buried his feet each step he took. He wondered if he was dreaming.

"Go on, then," Beyond demanded.

Crystal clear water poured into the awaiting pool, splashing Mello's cheek lightly as he approached the fountain. How could Beyond think something so beautiful would hurt him? Mello knelt down in front of the pool and cupped some water into his hands. His blood boiled as he brought the water up to his mouth.

Suddenly a shot rang out. The piercing noise of a bullet zoomed right by Mello's head. He yelped and fell backwards, sprawled out on the grass. It took a moment for him to realize he wasn't hit. He turned his head towards the direction of the original shot. The intruder stepped from the shadows, revealing himself. For a moment, he wondered if he drank the water and completely forget and he was, indeed, poisoned. But it was when the vision spoke that he realized the water never touched his lips.

"Beyond, raise your hands. I'll shoot you if you do anythin' else."

Mello thought he was looking at a stranger. The man's movements, confidence, and stance didn't belong to the face hidden behind the orange goggles. Mello knew the face and the body so well, but the aura he radiated differed completely. It was as if someone invaded Matt's body and took over, completely obliterating the old Matt Mello loved such a short time ago.

Yet, this stranger captivated Mello. His red hair stuck up on all ends; a quirky smile lay carefully on his lips; his long arm aimed the gun steadily and confidently at Beyond. Even the cigarette dangling between his teeth seemed to taunt Mello. How fantastic Matt looked!

"Well, Matt, this is a pleasant surprise," Beyond grinned maliciously as he raised his hands above his head. "Isn't it, Mello, darling?"

Mello couldn't answer. His tongue swelled in his mouth as he continued to admire Matt. Emotions he'd buried deep in his heart suddenly burrowed to the surface, reminding him why he would have sacrificed everything for Matt. He swayed up from his bed of grass, his eyes never leaving Matt.

"Don't move, Mello," Matt barked. "I could turn this gun just as easily on you."

His voice echoed across the valley, sending shivers up Mello's spine. And the way he spoke his name...This wasn't the Matt Mello first fell in love with so many years ago, but Mello felt he was falling in love all over again. His head spun as Matt began to speak again.

"How are you doin', L? Hangin' in there? And Light? Y'all okay?"

"Yes," L nodded, pulling Light to his feet. "I'm glad you found my letter."

A smile beamed across Light's face. "I knew you had a plan," he chuckled, his eyes still glazed from the morphine. "Lawli, you're a genius."

"Where's everyone else, Matt?"

"Back at the town, fightin' off all of Beyond's stupid goonies. You know, Beyond, you really surrounded yourself with stupid people."

Despite Beyond's obvious loss, a mischievous smile was planted on his lips. It itched at any comfort Mello felt finally seeing Matt again; what was Beyond planning? His arms stayed straight in the sky, submissive to Matt's demands, but the glimmer in his eyes hinted something else.

"Aw'right, Beyond," Matt called. "Your reign of terror is over. The governor's had enough of it, the people have had enough of it, and fuck, I can't stand you so _I've_ had enough of it."

"Oh," Beyond snickered. "Have you? Well, Mello hasn't. Doesn't his vote count for anything?"

Mello immediately caught what Beyond was doing. But Matt held a steady, confident smile as if he'd expected Beyond to lash at his heart, as if he'd prepared himself. But Beyond was relentless. "Do you know," he purred. "How Mello got the bruise on his eye? Well, he disobeyed me. Imagine that! A disgusting dog like Mello thinking he could go against my orders."

Mello's fists shook. He stopped himself from lunging towards Beyond in fear that Matt would pull the trigger. Beyond never deserved Mello; why did he ever let Beyond touch him? Matt continued to hold the gun firmly, unfazed by Beyond's words. In fact, Matt cocked the gun and waited for Beyond's next remarks.

"He rarely mentions you, but I'm sure he thinks about you all the time. Isn't that right, my puppy?" Beyond laughed casually. "Every night, though, he forgets about you when I tear off his clothes and fuck him until he cries."

"Shut up," Matt yawned. "You're voice ain't the prettiest thing about you, I'll tell you what." He started to walk towards Beyond, but Mello saw it-Matt stretched his fingers wide at his side; Beyond was getting to him.

"So, you're gonna kill me, Matt? Then what?" Beyond's confidence never faltered as Matt got closer. "Take Mello back? After all those nights he let me fuck him? Maybe you'll kill Mello, too. He deserves if, after all. He cheated on you. The first night we fucked, he told me about you, but still let me kiss him and slide my hands down his pants. I threw him on his knees and he told me he had never been on the receiving end. Imagine that; you were fucked by a dirty, worthless dog. I bet you loved it, too. He certainly can't get enough of it. He screamed so loud that night, I had to gag him to shut him up. After, he had this look on his face like he never felt such satisfaction before. You might have loved him, but he never loved you."

Suddenly, Mello found himself mumbling, "that's not true. I love you so much."

His words were what finally broke Matt. For one moment, his rage and pent up sorrow released in a frustrated, nearly silent exhale. But it was enough for Beyond. He yanked out his gun, cocked and shot it before Matt could pull the trigger. The gun flew right from Matt's hand. He gazed in shock at his hand; his index finger fell from it's place, hanging loosely by a few strings of skin.

Beyond suddenly appeared at Matt's side, pressing his knife right against his jugular vein. "Did you hear that?" Beyond muttered. "Mello loves you. Doesn't that make it all worth it?"

Matt whimpered as Beyond ran his blade down his neck. Beyond hushed him, running his other hand through Matt's hair. "It's okay, you tried hard. And you almost succeeded. You're effort earns you a nice, slow death."

Blood trickled down Matt's neck. Mello watched in horror as Beyond dug his knife a bit deeper, right next to the vein. Even through Matt's goggles, Mello saw the confidence drain from his eyes. He glanced towards Mello, his lip trembling. Mello suddenly remembered how soft his lips were and how good they always tasted. His heart beat hard in his ears as Beyond dragged Matt towards the fountain.

"So, Matt, do you think your sacrifice was worth it? You tried to save a murderer, a dog, and an emotionless stone. And this fountain, which you'll never get to taste."

"I thought you didn't kill anyone unless it was their time," Matt breathed hoarsely.

"I can make exceptions for my darling Mello," Beyond sneered.

Mello found his hand on his gun. Suddenly, it pointed itself at Beyond. His finger cocked it. He pulled the trigger.

Beyond let out a bellow as the bullet sunk into his side. He dropped Matt and limped towards the fountain. Mello fired another bullet. Beyond slumped down, blood leaked from his thigh, but he never stopped inching towards the pool. Fire burned in his determined eyes as he pulled himself closer and closer.

"WAIT!" Mello heard Light shouting behind him, but he couldn't stop himself. He emptied his chamber on Beyond whose fingers finally touched the water.

"NO!" The last bullet struck his head. Beyond's body slumped over the pool, his blood contaminating the crisp water.

Suddenly, the water stopped pouring from the top of the cliff. The water in the pool evaporated too quickly into the air, completely drying out before Mello had a chance to blink. Unsure whether he should be concerned that the fountain disappeared, he glanced towards Matt. Matt was already watching him and pushed his goggles from his eyes up to his head. Mello gazed into the mismatched eyes and for the first time in months, was content.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. Matt smiled weakly.

"No," Light moaned behind Mello. L's body wavered as blood suddenly poured from his gut.

* * *

**A/N:** So why Mello's P.O.V? Well, I figured he needed a chance to redeem himself...that's pretty much it.  
I feel like there's no one reading anymore, which is a bit depressing, since this is the longest story I've ever written and the hardest I've ever worked on any piece, so any reviews, critical or complimentary, are fantastic. Please read, review, and enjoy! There are only two chapters remaining.


	49. In The End

**A/N:** Apparently I never my account to allow anonymous reviews. Well, I fixed that so yay. This is the last chapter before the epilogue. I hope you guys have enjoyed the story so far; I've certainly enjoyed writing it.  
Read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

There was no pain. Everything just became sort of swirly and L felt woozy. He stumbled a bit, staring at his stomach. Blood drenched his shirt, spreading across the fabric until he thought he would be sick. He desperately tried to remember how it happened, but nothing struck his memory. A gun never fired in his general direction and he couldn't recall anything penetrating his gut. So what happened...

Suddenly, he collapsed to his knees. His vision traveled up to the sky and for a moment he thought he was only looking up. Light's head suddenly appeared over him. Scars and cuts ran across his face like rivers. L touched his cheek carefully. His own hand was drenched in blood.

"God, Lawli, no," Light pressed his hand on L's gut.

L tried to ask him to stop; the pain became unbearable. The pressure wracked through his body, snapping at every nerve and bone. His spine contorted as Light's hand pushed harder. A salty, sweet taste stung L's tongue. Above Light's head, a strange flicker obstructed his view of the sky. Two red eyes formed and the rest of the frighteningly familiar face slowly appeared.

"Have you come to take me away?" L murmured. Ryuk's disgusting smile widened as he cackled softly. Light suddenly jumped, turning to face the ex-shinigami.

"What are you doin' here?" he snarled, cradling L's head closer to his chest.

Somehow, pressed against Light's chest, listening to his heart beat frantically, L felt dizzy with happiness. When they were young, he always promised he would be there. And here, while L's blood leaked across the sand, Light cradled him, protecting him from death. Of course, he couldn't save L, but his attempt was all L wanted. L's stained fingers touched Light's disfigured cheek.

"Light," he breathed. "It's okay."

Light turned away from Ryuk, gazing down at L. His eyes widened as if he realized he had little time with L left. "Don't worry," L murmured. "I'll be okay. And we'll see each other again. Just live a happy life until then. And forgive yourself, Light."

"Forgive myself?" Light blubbered, tears pouring down his cheeks. "For being a fuckin' murderer? What have I done to repent? Who have I helped in return?"

"Me," L smiled softly, wincing as he felt his body temperature dropping rapidly. "You've saved my life more than once. You reminded me of love and what it means to be a human. No matter what anyone said, you stuck to your beliefs and resurrected one of the world's most precious gifts."

"But it's gone, Lawli. The fountain's gone."

Suddenly, Ryuk sighed heavily behind them. "This is touching and all, but you should hurry up."

"Please, give us a few more minutes," Light muttered, keeping his eyes on the fading L. "Please."

Who was L to judge Light? Light's passions may have strayed him on a horrid path, but he found his way back. He found his way to L. If anything, L was the one wrong in the situation. He denied Light forgiveness for too long; he tried to kill Light. Yet, Light never stopped thinking about him. He always loved him.

And L-and Lawliet loved him too. Lawliet smiled softly as Light's wet, trembling lips pressed against his own. For Lawliet, this was heaven. He yearned not to part from Light, but he knew he would see him again in that paradise; the place of full of green.

"I love you, Light," he murmured and for the first time since his father's death, he let himself cry.

* * *

"No, no, no," Light moaned, sobbing into Lawliet's neck. "Don't leave-not now."

Ryuk's horrifying chuckle suddenly subdued his grief. Anger began to boil in his stomach. He snapped his neck, glaring at Ryuk. "Why are you here? To laugh at my pain? Why are you tauntin' me like this?"

"Isn't it obvious? I've been sent here, I told you that a few days ago. The gods seemed to be-smiling down on you."

"What? Is that some sort of sick joke?" Light sobbed, gripping Lawliet's limp body tighter.

"You have a choice, Light."

A long, spidery finger reached for Light's forehead. Memories of the past years suddenly flooded Light. The bloodshed, the repentance, the discovery. All those nights camping with Lawliet. His months with Misa and the possibility of the child. Lawliet's small smile when he walked into the barn. His ambitions to morph the world, to _fix_ the world. The fountain and it's promises. Haunting words wracked his head, sending surges of misery, pain, and love.

The fountain can only be granted to the world when the gods were satisfied that humans deserved it. When the gods could truly see compassion lurked somewhere. And with compassion came love, forgiveness, and sacrifice.

"Are both Lawliet and the fountain that important to you?" Ryuk asked. Light nodded softly, finally understanding why Ryuk reappeared.

Ryuk reached into his pocket, pulling out a black notebook. On the cover, spidery letters spelled out, 'Death Note'. His eyes widened. Ryuk pressed his pen against the page and began to scribble something. Light's body froze as Ryuk held up the page for him to read. Scrawled across the middle of page were two words: Yagami Light.

"You have forty seconds."

Forty seconds until everything Light Yagami was evaporated. He trembled, staring down at Lawliet; he would be the last thing Light saw. Was everything worth it in the end? Taking others lives without second guessing, destroying others so he could survive, trying to fix the world by creating more problems. He became so obsessed with the power of taking lives. He thrived on the control; he felt like a god. Sure, he fought for something he believed in, but it turned him into what he wanted to destroy. He was a murderer. Did he really deserve forgiveness?

And then there was Lawliet. Beautiful, intelligent, spontaneous Lawliet. He wanted Light dead, but Lawliet made his own mistakes. His deep depression caused him to shut down and sleep with Beyond. Light couldn't be angry with him, though, because he understood fully. Lawliet deserved life and to be happy. Maybe death was Light's ultimate punishment for his sins. He stared down at Light, running his fingers through his hair. No-death wasn't a punishment; it was his gift to Lawliet. He granted Lawliet life. With his sacrifice, L would have another day to enjoy the world and appreciate humans for all they could be. The fountain promised the world peace.

Finally, in the end, Light believed he achieved the one thing he truly hoped for. After all the wrong roads and the horrifying decisions, he somehow managed to give the world what it deserved: a second chance. But it wasn't the only thing that had a second chance. Lawliet admired Light, finally. After claiming Light was nothing but trouble and cruel, Lawliet still loved him.

Only twenty seconds now. Light kissed Lawliet's cold lips, wiping the blood from his pale chin. He lay Lawliet on the floor and curled up next to him, placing his head on Lawliet's chest. He wanted to hear Lawliet's heart beat before his own stopped. He gripped Lawliet's drenched shirt tightly, watching the dried up fountain with anticipation.

Maybe death wouldn't be too bad. He couldn't say good-bye to his parents or his friends, but he knew he would see them again. If shinigami's existed, then God did as well.

"Lawli," he murmured. "I think I do believe in God."

Light closed his eyes, breathing in the stench of blood and Lawliet. So this was heaven. He knew he would revisit this moment in death. He smiled softly, wondering if he would run into A and all the others who never had their chance.

Suddenly, something echoed in his ear.

"Light," Lawliet coughed, gasping for air.

"Lawli," Light smiled softly. Lawliet gazed at him with large, bloodshot eyes. Light couldn't bear to tell Lawliet what would happen soon. With his remaining few seconds he asked, "Do you think I should forgive myself?"

"For what?" Lawliet smiled softly.

Light pressed his trembling lips against Lawliet's. He felt the pain creeping up in his chest. He gasped as his chest exploded in agony. He trembled, clutching onto Lawliet's shirt tightly. His body withered in pain. It was as if he was drowning. He gasped for air, trying desperately to hold onto any piece of life left, but it was escaping through his lips. The pain smothered him, suffocating him until he felt a strange release.

Darkness clouded his vision. His life never flashed before his eyes, but his memories granted him complete happiness. Even the death of his unborn child and that night trapped in the prison seemed to have it's own beauty. Everything bad he's done he suddenly regarded as just a mistake, and nothing more. He finally found peace; he finally forgave himself. He heard Lawliet crying out his name, but he couldn't see him anymore. "I love you, Lawli," he muttered, happiness enveloping him. It was all worth it in the end.

And just like that, his feet touched cool, moist grass.

* * *

**A/N:** Well...that was quite a journey for Light, but he was happy in the end. Only the epilogue is left to get closure with the rest of the characters. Please, please, review. I'll get like three most for a chapter at points (many times none) and it's breaking me heart :[. So if you read the story, just send a quick review so I know whether or not there's more than three people reading this. Thanks!


	50. Epilogue The Valley of Light

**A/N:** I don't think I've ever completed such a long story. I'm pretty satisfied with the overall outcome and I hope you all are too! For all you who've continued reading until the end, you guys are the best! Thank you all my reviewers and those who've favorited my story. I'm getting a bit emotional *sniff*. Just kidding.

So, sorry again about killing Light and all...Yeah...okay.

Also, I (stupidly) deleted the prologue and (stupidly) never saved it, so I'm going to re-write that. In case you were wondering.

Anyway! Here's the epilogue and then the story is FINALLY complete. I'm super excited that I finished this. I really doubted it would happen, but it did.  
So, read, review, and enjoy the epilogue!

* * *

**The Valley of Light**

When rumor first erupted about a mystical fountain in the middle of the desert, skeptics immediately bashed the government, promising it was just another scam to entice and deceive citizens. The doubters were appalled that such a lie was constructed and they swore to bring the truth into the light. They started sending death threats, forcing Governor Mikami to up his security to uncomfortable levels. He rarely left the house, and little Near had to be home schooled (which he was, unsurprisingly, satisfied with).

When the skeptics began demanding the truth, other issues, which were never a problem beforehand, came to question. Where did Kira, the vigilante who kept them safe, vanish off to? Who was this mysterious L and why wouldn't he show his face to the public? Pamphlets began spurting out conspiracy theories, twisting the Governor's words and actions. Suddenly, the Governor became the enemy of the people.

Those who did believe the fantastic, supernatural rumor, however, kept hope burning in the country. With every death threat, an anxious letter pleaded for the revealing of the fountain's location. The sick scribbled down their tales, promising they had so much to offer to society if they could only have more time. Their words were the only that comforted the Governor in the dark time.

For a long time, he, L, and several of the sheriffs that helped in the Kira case, contemplated how to deal with the new, beautiful gift provided for humanity. L insisted it was for everyone, but the others grew skeptical of his sudden irrational thinking; that is, until he told them Light's story. They listened for hours of Light's tragic tale, shocked and awed how much Light was able to conquer and finally become a martyr to save the world. Soichiro Yagami left the room a few times, moved to tears by his son's heroics. Somehow, the tale made the pain of losing his son a bit more bearable.

After months of discussions, debates, and fiery arguments, they came to a decision: The capital of the country would be moved to the valley. There, they would set up a new town with fantastic rooms to stay in for all those who visited and a stable, responsible mayor who wanted only good to come from the Fountain. They chose the one man who radiated innocence and bravery, who nearly sacrificed his life for those he loved: Sheriff Matsuda. He blushed at the announcement and thanked them quietly, clutching his cane to his chest.

So, hidden from the public until they were ready for the announcement, a select few construction workers started to build a town centered around the fountain. Each building was crafted by the most prestigious architects, built to commemorate those who lost their lives fighting in the battle against Beyond and his crew. On top of the door of the new saloon (which was built directly across from the fountain), in pure gold letters, read "Aiber's Saloon".

Two years later, Lawliet awkwardly fixed his suit, which nearly drowned him in fabric. He glanced at himself in the mirror, his mind traveling to Light. After Lawliet awoke, Light simply smiled at him, told him he loved him, and died on his chest. Ryuk later told Lawliet the sacrifice Light made for both him and the world. Light's last words still managed to echo through Lawliet's head: "I love you, Lawli".

Lawliet bowed his head, glancing out the window. Mayor Matsuda waved proudly at the visitors, who bunched up towards the stage set up next to the fountain. There must have been over a thousand people lining the streets, crowded in the bars, waiting, watching in suspense. Once the news of the town had been announced, doubters finally left Governor Mikami alone and the excitement for the announcement of the location became contagious.

"Are you ready, Lawliet?" Governor Mikami peaked his head into Lawliet's new apartment above the saloon.

"Yes," he lied. He never spoke publicly before and the thought of revealing Light's entire story to thousands of people sent pangs of angst through his body. A part of him wondered if they would ever actually comprehend all Light was.

After one last glance towards the mirror, he headed for the stage. The crowd didn't notice as he slinked through them, too gawky in his suit. He felt like a monkey as he climbed up the steps on stage. Suddenly, the audience hushed. Governor Mikami walked up to the front of the stage, his voice echoed across the valley.

"Welcome, my friends. Thank you for those who traveled so far for the revealing. For those of you who don't know, I'm Governor Teru Mikami."

The crowd erupted in cheers. Thanks to the high security, pandemonium was kept down to a minimum. Still, the frightening thought that the crowd would turn and try to claim the fountain as their own haunted Lawliet's thoughts. People could be so foolish.

"Now, I would like to introduce to you one man who co-discovered the Fountain. Without further adieu, I would like to welcome Lawliet onto the stage."

The crowd hushed as Lawliet approached the edge. His heart raced in his chest and, for a moment, he forgot why he stood in front of a sea of people and why they all eagerly leaned towards him.

"Hello," he spoke, surprised how far his voice bellowed. "I would actually like the correct the Governor about something. I wasn't the co-founder of the Fountain. No, in fact, the man who originally discovered it only brought me here to save my life. He threw me on the back of a horse and foolishly followed a powerful instinct which haunted him for years."

He spoke for about an hour, pouring Light's story to the crowd. His body wracked with pain as he avoided any mention of their relationship or Light's days as Kira. The words enthralled the crowd, drawing them to cry out in laughter and tears, fascinated by the story. At the end of the story, Lawliet grabbed a chair, nearly collapsing with exhaustion. The pain became unbearable.

For a moment, he ran his thumb across his lip. "You have all heard of Light Yagami, but you don't know him by that name. The man who sacrificed his life for mine and yours was Kira."

Horrified murmurs sprung through the crowd as the news settled in. "Light's dream may have steered him from the path of justice for a few years. He became obsessed with the power of taking another man's life. In fact, he became allies with Beyond Birthday, until one day he had a realization that he was approaching the situation completely wrong. I know that it may seem odd that I'm claiming Light had some supernatural connection to the Fountain, but I can vouch for him because-I did as well. However, I never followed my instincts and I ignored the strange visions, deciding they were bogus. But Light was right..."

He sat silently again, wrapping one arm around his knees. After a moment, he continued. "Light Yagami transformed from the most feared criminal to a heroic, brave martyr. And that's what he was-a martyr. He believed death was his gift to the world and it was. Without him, none of us would be standing here today. Without him, Beyond Birthday may still be reigning terror in your towns, hurting your families. Light saved my life, and he's saved all of yours. I spoke today to grant you the knowledge of the man who threw away everything to help the world find peace. And, in the end, he was happy with his choice. He died with a smile on his face."

Suddenly, tears brimmed in the corner of Lawliet's eyes. He fought them back as he spoke the remaining words. "Thank you all for coming. Remember that this Fountain is for each of you and the world. When you drink it, don't forget that. And don't ever forget the sacrifice Light Yagami made for each and every one of you." He heard the bitterness in his voice escaping in the last sentence, but did nothing to fight it.

Governor Mikami replaced Lawliet on the stage. "I'm sorry about what happened," he murmured so only Lawliet could hear him as they shook hands. He turned his attention immediately back to the crowd. "Thank you, Lawliet, for that moving and beautiful story. Light Yagami was a great man and deserves to be honored for the gift he's provided us. Now, I'm pleased to say that the Valley of Light is officially open to the public."

The crowd roared in excitement as Lawliet wandered off stage, suddenly unwilling to be around so many people.

"HEY!" he heard someone cry out. "LAWLIET, HEY!

He turned around, nearly falling over as Matt jumped towards him, throwing his arms around his neck. Mello trailed behind, grimly watching his feet. "How have you been?" he asked with a large smile planted across his face.

"I've been better," Lawliet shrugged, unable to withhold the grin spreading across his face. "It's been too long, Matt."

"Yeah, well, we had a lot of shit to get in order," he glanced over his shoulder towards Mello. "We're actually gonna run the bank down the street. Governor Mikami called and asked if I was willin' and I asked if it was aw'right if Mello pitched in, so, here we are. Just sort of figured we needed a distraction. Poor Mello, he didn't smile for months after he shot Beyond. Hold on, Imma go get our shit settled at the bank. All our furniture's there, but I just gotta arrange it. See you 'round!"

Mello started to follow Matt, but halted when he caught Lawliet's gaze. "Listen, I just kinda wanted to say I'm sorry," he mumbled. "If I hadn't been with Beyond in the first place, I wouldn't have shot him-and Light wouldn't have needed to die. I don't know if my apology means much but, I just wanted you to know I never actually wanted Light dead. I was just pissed about my face is all."

"I appreciate the gesture, but I never blamed you, Mello," Lawliet smiled softly. "You didn't know the consequence of killing Beyond."

"Yeah," he shot Lawliet a half smile. "I gotta go help Matt out. He'll get pissed if he's gotta do all the work but, I'll see you 'round?"

"Of course," Lawliet shook Mello's hand before he wandered through off through the crowd.

Back in his room above the saloon, he collapsed on the bed, exhausted from the pain in his chest. Someone knocked on his door. "Come in," he called.

Soichiro Yagami stepped in. His eyes were bloodshot, but a small smile lurked on his lips. "That was an incredible speech," he said. "Light would've been proud."

"I know," Lawliet chuckled. "He was always a bit full of himself."

Soichiro laughed deeply, leaning against the wall. "What are you gonna do now?"

"There's nothing left to do, really. I guess just keep solving cases until I can't anymore," Lawliet shrugged. "What about you?"

"Well, you're lookin' at the new sheriff of the Valley of Light," Soichiro grinned. "And a proud new father of a baby girl."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you. I just wanted to stop in and say hello. I'm gonna go back to all the festivities downstairs. You take care, a'wright?"

Lawliet nodded as Sheriff Yagami closed the door behind him. Memories immediately flooded his thoughts, drowning him in sorrow and strangely, happiness. He glanced towards his mirror and for a moment, he swore Light was sitting right besides him. He lay back in bed, allowing his mind to wander back to the day he died. He had appeared on a meadow, with a sea of grass spread before him. In death, he found true happiness and he knew Light felt the same. Some day, maybe soon, he would arrive back on that meadow with Light waiting for him. Until then, though, his purpose rested in protecting the Fountain, comforted by the idea of seeing Light again.

He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N:** So that's it! I hope the ending wasn't too lame heh. Reviews would be absolutely, positively lovely. I can't even stress that enough. Let me know what you thought overall. Loved it? Awesome. Hated it?...well I don't know why you read this far, but that's okay, too heh.

IF you guys want, I've been thinking about adding a One-shot about Matt and Mello's story between the last chapter and the epilogue. SOOO, let me know!

OKAY!...Bye.


	51. Author's Note One shot

**My fine readers,**

**Hi! Well-it's been quite some time, but the Matt and Mello one-shot is FINALLY finished! So, those who are interested, Matt's and Mello's year between the last chapter and the epilogue is officially up! It's entitled: The Fountain's Promise: The Story of a Monster. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**-last place**


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